Because somebody is liable haul off and tell you a good story.

Texas Tech is in Lubbock.  It’s a pretty good school.

Enjoy!

I wrote about Ted Cruz this morning, but the Washington Post explains why this really is a big deal.

Here’s ten reason why Ted Cruz is living his own nightmare.

(And it has nothing to do with the paisley silk smoking jacket he used to wear in the Harvard dorm.)

It’s getting really hard to see Maine Governor Paul LePage through all the chicken feathers.

LaPage, who is a genuine mule’s hiney, has said so many outrageous things that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but saying that President Barack Obama should go to hell kinda stands out in my mind.

Then there’s the whole D-Money, Smoothie, and Shifty thing.

One of his fellow Republicans explain that LePage says startling things sometime because English is not his first language, French is.  That does not explain why he didn’t say D’Argent.

LePage says he’s not going to give his State of the State speech before the Maine house.  He’s just going to send them a letter.

Why?

Because they are trying to impeach him.

Okay, here ya have it, scientific proof that Democratic men are tougher, more manly men than Republican men.

Hell, President Obama goes before a congress who thinks he’s a foreigner and a traitor gave a dandy State of the Union speech.  He sure didn’t look scared to me.  Bill Clinton, Holy Mother Mary above, preached what was probably the best State of the Union he ever gave before a congress who had already impeached him.

A lesser politician, or a more timid soul, might have balked at facing his House accusers and Senate jurors at a moment of political peril greater than that faced by any other President for many years. But Mr. Clinton seems to thrive on such adversity.

Tonight he showed not only that he could take everything Congress had thrown at him for a year but that he could dish it out as well, baiting the sullen Republicans in the House chamber with jabs on issues they abhor, from the minimum wage to campaign finance overhaul.

Yeah, that’s how a Democrat handles it.  We don’t throw the first punch.  We do, however, throw the second 17 punches.

It happens all the time.  I borrow a million dollars and then oops I forgot.

Come to find out, Mr. Jesus Lights My Path Ted Cruz, borrowed campaign money from Goldman Sachs, where his wife worked, and Citicorp.  His campaign reports never showed it because saying that all his money came from his own savings made a far better story.

… in the first half of 2012, Ted and Heidi Cruz obtained the low-interest loan from Goldman Sachs, as well as another one from Citibank. The loans totaled as much as $750,000 and eventually increased to a maximum of $1 million before being paid down later that year. There is no explanation of their purpose.

Ted’s story was that Jesus favored him because look at all the money Jesus gave him.  He literally said that his campaign money was all his and that it was their entire savings.  See, he knew that was a lie.

Plus, he got a special low-interest rate on these loans.

Part of the loans were used to fund the run-off campaign in Texas for the Senate.

Mr. Cruz, a conservative former Texas solicitor general, was campaigning as a populist firebrand who criticized Wall Street bailouts and the influence of big banks in Washington. It is a theme he has carried into his bid for the Republican nomination for president.

Earlier this year, when asked about the political clout of Goldman Sachs in particular, he replied, “Like many other players on Wall Street and big business, they seek out and get special favors from government.”

Yeah, like their own Senator.

Now here’s the part that explains why he had to take out a loan.

While the Cruzes were well paid — he made more than $1 million a year as a law partner, and she earned a six-figure income as an executive in Goldman Sachs’s Houston office — they also had big bills, including mortgage payments and full-time child care.

Yeah, they had a mortgage and child care.  Bless their hearts, how the hell are they supposed to live on a million dollars a year if they have a mortgage and child care.  Why, you’d have to be a magician to do that!  Goodness gracious, America is lucky that only Ted Cruz has mortgage and child care payments.

Cruz’s campaign called not reporting the loans “inadvertent” and stressed that they would correct the reports now.

Okay, here’s my question: can we forget that Cruz won that election and correct it now?

Okay, it happened in Texas  and I really don’t even know where to start.

A group of guys were organizing to go to Oregon to be with their Freedom brothers, then a semi-bad thing happened.

It was first announced via radio —

“Dear friends it’s my dearest regrets to have to share this heart breaking new (sic) with you tonight. That OUR fellow patriot and brother Charles Carter is no longer with us. He gone to be with Jesus. Today killed by a fellow patriot Vincent Smith. Who was suppose (sic) to be his brother in arms and friend,” posted online radio host Keith Williams, who described himself as the victim’s next of kin.

Bill Williamson, another right-wing “patriot” associated with the Oregon militants, said in a Facebook post that Smith shot Carter in a drunken dispute over a gun.

They are still sorting it all out, but … here’s where they are at now.

Self-defender Smith

Williamson said Smith called him a short time later to say that U.S. Marshals had agreed the fatal shooting was self-defense.

A member of the 3% Idaho militia group, which showed up late last week at the ongoing occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, paid tribute to his friend but said Carter “violated one of the first rules of firarms (sic) safety.”

“NEVER mix guns & booze,” said the militia member, who calls himself Joe Bleaugh.

Or dumb and booze, for that matter.  Or guns and dumb.  Or just quit mixing crap, okay?

Get it?  Joe Bleaugh?

Bubba Hank II says that the federal officials should deliver a case of Jack Daniels to the Oregon Boys and by tomorrow afternoon at 3:30, it will all be over.

First, there’s an editorial in the Washington Post from a constitutional scholar explaining why Ted Cruz cannot be president and it doesn’t include the words “because he’s a blowhard fool” anywhere in it, which proves it’s a better job writing than I can do.

James Madison, known as the “father of the Constitution,” stated, “It is an established maxim that birth is a criterion of allegiance. . . . [And] place is the most certain criterion; it is what applies in the United States.”

Cruz is, of course, a U.S. citizen. As he was born in Canada, he is not natural-born.

This scholar also points out the errant ways of those who try to twist the constitution to say that Ted, who is blowhard fool, can be president.  She says they “misapply and ignore the relevant law.”  You know, as does the blowhard fool, Ted Cruz.

And then, there’s this.  Ted’s Mom may have become a Canadian citizen herself.

Yet Cruz’s mother’s name appears on a Canadian government document, obtained by TPM in 2013, that lists Canadian citizens eligible to vote in 1974.

Well, theres the other possibility – she may have been trying to commit voter fraud.  That might be compensation for having given birth to a blowhard fool.

But the Number One Reason Ted Cruz Can’t Be Pesident?

There ya go.