So, just like Republican Parties across the county, my local Republican party is split worse than size 8 pants on Verdelia. And Honey, exactly like Verdelia, their hiney is hanging out.

The challenger to the Republican Party Chairman, Mr. Bill Michie, announced that he was running against the incumbent chairman, Mr. Mike Gibson, because “party funds have dwindled to the point that the party is virtually broke.”

Honey, there ain’t no “virtual” about it.  They’ve got debt so deep that they are hoping to strike oil or China.

Their reports to the Federal Election Commission have been a mess since the first of the year but things got really out of hand last June, when they reported that the Fort Bend County Republican Party was $22,680.63 in debt. Click here to see for yourownself.

Well, the Federal Elections Commission immediately asked, “What the hell?” You cannot show debt without explaining who you owe it to and what for.  I mean, did somebody abscond to Vegas with the Lincoln Day Dinner receipts?

So, the FEC sent the Republican Party of Fort Bend County a letter, asking politely for an explanation.  Here ya go. And they continued to send the same letter every month asking for an explanation.

Here is the explanation the Party gave to the FEC in August 2015.  Reports showing the growing debt every month refers back to this explanation.

Now here it is the middle of January, which is a few days since August, and there is still no “reconciliation.”

To make matters worse, they are starting off this year with a negative cash balance of $29,245.13. And here it is.

Now, if it takes the Republican Party six months to figure out where $23,000 went and how it grew to $29,000 for apparently no reason whatsoever, I flat ain’t trusting them with my tax money.  Not that I ever did, mind you, but when they ask me for a reason, I have a damn good one.

Now what makes it especially fun for me is that at almost every election a local Republicans files a complaint with the FEC whining that the local Democrats have broken the law and are total scoundrels because we don’t file with the FEC.  Every election we answer with applicable law and proper receipts explaining that we don’t spend more than $1,000 on federal races so we don’t have to file with the FEC.  No big deal, but it takes time to get all that stuff together and find a damn stamp.

I haven’t file a complaint against them because I’m figure living dangerously is a Republican tradition.

And if there’s any Republicans out there reading this, do not give your local party any more money than you can afford to put in a paper bag and set on fire just to watch it burn because, Honey, they do not have a clue where that money goes when it lands in their pockets.

Oh, by the way, tonight is their annual fundraising dinner.

Have a great weekend!

As if Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton didn’t have enough poop on his plate, now he’s under investigation for a damn skimpy land deal.

Paxton is already under indictment for felony stock fraud and now he’s got this —

Two additional special prosecutors have been appointed to look into other allegations of criminal misconduct involving Attorney General Ken Paxton, News 8 has learned.

The two Fort Worth attorneys – Miles Brissette and former state district Judge Bob Gill – were appointed Nov. 13 to investigate “criminal allegations” involving Paxton and others, according to filings obtained by News 8. The filings do not state who the “others” are.

News 8 has learned that the two men are looking into a 2004 land deal involving Paxton and other investors including Collin County District Attorney Greg Willis. That land would later become the site of the Collin Central Appraisal District.

Oh please, please, please, Sweet Floozie Mother of All That is Fair and Righteous, let him take down some other elected Republicans with him.

Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

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Clay Bennett, Chattanooga Times Free Press

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Because somebody is liable haul off and tell you a good story.

Texas Tech is in Lubbock.  It’s a pretty good school.

Enjoy!

I wrote about Ted Cruz this morning, but the Washington Post explains why this really is a big deal.

Here’s ten reason why Ted Cruz is living his own nightmare.

(And it has nothing to do with the paisley silk smoking jacket he used to wear in the Harvard dorm.)

It’s getting really hard to see Maine Governor Paul LePage through all the chicken feathers.

LaPage, who is a genuine mule’s hiney, has said so many outrageous things that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but saying that President Barack Obama should go to hell kinda stands out in my mind.

Then there’s the whole D-Money, Smoothie, and Shifty thing.

One of his fellow Republicans explain that LePage says startling things sometime because English is not his first language, French is.  That does not explain why he didn’t say D’Argent.

LePage says he’s not going to give his State of the State speech before the Maine house.  He’s just going to send them a letter.

Why?

Because they are trying to impeach him.

Okay, here ya have it, scientific proof that Democratic men are tougher, more manly men than Republican men.

Hell, President Obama goes before a congress who thinks he’s a foreigner and a traitor gave a dandy State of the Union speech.  He sure didn’t look scared to me.  Bill Clinton, Holy Mother Mary above, preached what was probably the best State of the Union he ever gave before a congress who had already impeached him.

A lesser politician, or a more timid soul, might have balked at facing his House accusers and Senate jurors at a moment of political peril greater than that faced by any other President for many years. But Mr. Clinton seems to thrive on such adversity.

Tonight he showed not only that he could take everything Congress had thrown at him for a year but that he could dish it out as well, baiting the sullen Republicans in the House chamber with jabs on issues they abhor, from the minimum wage to campaign finance overhaul.

Yeah, that’s how a Democrat handles it.  We don’t throw the first punch.  We do, however, throw the second 17 punches.