Okay, I live in a little town between Sugar Land and Rosenberg.  Our geographic boundaries touch on each side.

You’d think I would be most embarrassed by Sugar Land, you know, home to Tom DeLay and all.

But, nooooo.

The Mayor of Rosenberg has become a preacher on the city dime.

Local newspaper, click the little one to get the big one.

It’s not God, she’s talking about, it’s Christianity.

Okay, here’s the Prayer Challenge.  I couldn’t get it all in because it goes from almost the top all the way to the bottom.  But you can get the jest.

Now here’s the goofy part.  I live smack dab in the middle of the most diverse county in America, and I can prove it.

I swear that the Steeple People are becoming more irritating than fruit flies.

You’d think that a mayor could find something to do other than sanctimoniously preach at people who work for the city and don’t make enough money to put up with this crap.

Get off your high horse, Mayor.  I can see right up your skirt.

There’s some wild and wooly stories about Dr. Ben Carson.

His wife just joined in.  In her brand spankin’ new book, she claims that Carson delivered their son at home.

In her new book A Doctor in the House: My Life With Ben Carson, the wife of the presidential hopeful says that she went into early labor with their second son at their home, and Carson immediately sprang into acting, delivering a healthy baby boy.

She also reveals he cut the child’s umbilical cord with a hair clip and caught the baby in one hand and her afterbirth in another hand.

Yeah, that’s a headline for sure. “Doctor Delivers Baby.”

Honey, taxi cab drivers deliver babies.  There ain’t much to it.

Although I do admit that knowing how to operate a hair clip takes some pretty advanced knowledge.

Then she tells about the time he chased down carjackers.

That is not the only story she shares either, also revealing that once carjackers stole Carson’s Jaguar but he managed to catch up to them and after recognizing who he was they shook his hand and gave him back his car.

Sure, I believe that.  And unicorns.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

The news media has found a 56 year old man at the Oregon headquarters of Vanilla Isil.  He’s fully armed, sitting under a tarp in a damn rocking chair, awaiting the enviable battle with federal agents over snacks, clean socks, and that their fraternity brothers don’t go the jail for burning federal land.

It’s quite a sight.

The response on Twitter has been fast and funny.

For example:

.

He’s threatening to shoot any federal agent who pulls a gun on him.

He does know that he can’t see them, right?  He does know that they can walk right by him, right?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Y’all, Jeb! Bush just lost his damn mind.

Get a load of this crapola.

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush said on Tuesday that his brother, George W. Bush, is still “very popular” and could join his struggling campaign.

Places where George Bush is very popular and could help his brother:

1. Punch line of jokes.
2. The Paint-By-Numbers Art School
3. His home. Oops. No. Latest polls find him significantly behind the dog and a package of Gorton’s Fish Sticks in the freezer.
4. Comedic retrospectives
5. Slipping significantly from very popular to barely tolerable at the Bubbles Car Wash near his house.

Okay, with all the Republican Presidential candidates trying to out-Jesus each other, Ted Cruz has taken to quoting scripture at every stop.

For example …

Ted Cruz’s six-day bus trip in Iowa launched as more of religious revival tour than a presidential barnstorm.

The Steeple People see this election as a holy war.  When you see Donald Trump, Donald Trump I say, calling Bill Clinton names over his sex life and offering prayers out loud, then you know this world is officially a damn crazy place.

But back to Ted Cruz. His father proclaims that Ted is here to fulfill Biblical prophesy for the end times.  And to think I was proud of my son when he could go potty by himself.

But there’s rumors in Iowa that Ted Cruz is a … dare I even say it … send the children out of the room … a … Catholic.

But despite his outward displays of his belief, Cruz, the favorite in Iowa, is facing a whisper campaign of sorts from his Republican opponents: He’s Christian, but not Christian enough.

Donald Trump has cryptically questioned whether Cuba raises true evangelicals, pondering aloud whether Cruz is actually a Catholic. Ben Carson’s closest aide has argued that Cruz’s faith isn’t as native to him as Carson’s is to him. And a pair of back-of-the-pack contenders, Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum, charge that Cruz is prioritizing wrong-headed Constitutional commitments over long-held Christian ones.

I thought we settled this in 1960. Have been asleep since then?

I think they’re all a mess of Pharisees.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

Texas Republican Congressman John Culbertson, who is chairman of the Appropriations subcommittee that oversees the Justice Department, is throwing a walleyed snot nose snack-infested hissy damn fit over the common sense gun restrictions that President Obama and 71% of Americans favor.

By Gawd, you cannot keep John Culbertson from anonymously buying guns from a company run out of Jim Bob’s garage that he found on the back page of comic books. That’s his constitutional right!

Culbertson is threatening to defund the Justice Department if the Attorney General Loretta Lynch enforces any gun restrictions.

This comes from the state where a Republican state house member says that we cannot take Syrian refugees because it’s “too easy to buy guns in Texas.”

So Texas is handing out guns to terrorists and the best John Culbertson can do about that is to threaten Loretta Lynch.

Another big tough guy with a brain the size of a flea on a skinny dog.

“I have formally notified Attorney General Lynch that I will aggressively protect our Second Amendment rights using Congress’ power of the purse,” he added. “I notified the attorney general that if the Department of Justice attempted to create new restrictions on our Constitutional rights that I would use every tool at my disposal to immediately restrict their access to federal funding.”

The only purpose that served is that all the guys at the NRA headquarters now have erections.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.