It has come to my attention that the taxpayers of the State of Texas are going to chuck out $2.7 million dollars to … hold your breath … bring WrestleMania to Arlington, Texas.

Gov. Greg Abbott has agreed to spend up to $2.7 million in taxpayer funds to bring the barrage of blood, sweat and spandex that is WrestleMania to Texas next year.

During his 2014 campaign for governor, Abbott expressed discomfort with such taxpayer-funded economic incentives, saying he wanted to get government “out of the business of picking winners and losers.”

But last week, his office signed off on the award from the state’s Events Trust Fund, state records show, one of 20 such awards approved since September.

WrestleMania organizers are whining that’s not enough money for them.  I sympathize.  I feel the same way about Arlington.

Somebody check my math on this but they say they are expecting a record 90,000 people to attend, so that’s $30 a person of taxpayer money we’re paying to watch a bunch of narcissistic guys grease themselves up and wrestle each other.

Hell, I can watch the Republican debate tomorrow night for free.

Thanks to Linda for the heads up.

Donald Trump expressed outrage, outrage I tell you, that he could not properly was his hair in South Carolina.

Asked about the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) “Waters of the United States” rule at a campaign event in Aiken, S.C., on Saturday, Trump said it significantly impairs his ability to rinse, lather and repeat.

“I’ll give you one regulation,” Trump said. “So I build, and I build a lot of stuff. And I go into areas where they have tremendous water. … And you have sinks where the water doesn’t come out.

“You have showers where I can’t wash my hair properly,” he added. “It’s a disaster.

“It’s true. They have restrictors put in. The problem is you stay under the shower for five times as long.”

Uh, I think maybe your complaint should be with The Hilton, not South Carolina.

By the way, while I was looking into this, I discovered that the motto of South Carolina is “Dum spiro spero,” which loosely translated means, “Remember that vice president, Spiro Agnew?  He was dum.”  Look, any state where the first word of their motto is Dum is just asking for trouble.

Look, his whole complaint just stunned me.  Seriously.  Trump washes his hair?

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Ted Cruz just loves me.  He does.

In fact, he loves me so much that he is paying some kinky people to mine information about me from my Facebook page.

A little-known data company, now embedded within Cruz’s campaign and indirectly financed by his primary billionaire benefactor, paid researchers at Cambridge University to gather detailed psychological profiles about the US electorate using a massive pool of mainly unwitting US Facebook users built with an online survey.

I can promise you that he wasted a lot of money to hiring  psychologists to figure me out.  I’m crazy.  I cultivate it.

Seriously, I had someone tell me that a local district court judge was “scared of” me.  “He says you can never predict what she’ll next.”  Honey, it took me a long time to cultivate that reputation and I flat love it, especially when I surprise myself.  I kinda suspect I’m not alone.  I kinda suspect that almost everybody here is a little crazy.  I mean, the reason were all here is because we ain’t all there.

Okay, but back to Cruz.  So, as president, he’s not going to be big on privacy or freedom, but he’ll be able to tell you your favorite dinner and how you hate, just hate, Sally Smith.

I betcha he’s having fun with trolls.  I’d love to see a psychological profile on anonymous trolls.  Those guys have taken crazy to an art form.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, so about a hundred of you sent this to me and since I’ve been busy lately I didn’t have time to look at it to see if you were lying when you said it wasn’t The Onion.

To be honest, I don’t trust you guys all that much.

I still would not bet my best pair of pink boots on this, but for the life of me I cannot find any reason not to believe it – especially since I have been to Woodland, North Carolina, to do politics. I had a couple of fights.

Putting in solar panels failed in Woodland by a vote of city council.  They do not believe in abusing the sun in North Carolina.  During the public comment section of the meeting, it got interesting.

[Jane Mann] is a retired Northampton science teacher and is concerned that photosynthesis, which depends upon sunlight, would not happen and would keep the plants from growing. She said she has observed areas near solar panels where the plants are brown and dead because they did not get enough sunlight.

That could happen.  In fact, I saw it happen myself surrounding a rightwing tea party yard sign just 40 miles away from Woodland.

But Jane ain’t done.

She also questioned the high number of cancer deaths in the area, saying no one could tell her that solar panels didn’t cause cancer.

Yo, Jane! Over here!  Look over here.  Solar panels don’t cause cancer. You live in tobacco country. People openly smoke in public buildings.

Next comes Bobby Mann, who I suspect is related to Jane.

Bobby Mann said he watched communities dry up when I-95 came along and warned that would happen to Woodland because of the solar farms.

“You’re killing your town,” he said. “All the young people are going to move out.”

He said the solar farms would suck up all the energy from the sun and businesses would not come to Woodland.

Yeah, you know, kinda like windmills use up all the wind.

Yep, those youngsters today just hate solar panels like the damn plague. They will pack their bags and leave the charming city of Woodland, with its vast intellectual and artistic opportunities.

I’ve been keeping score, y’all.  The crazies are winning.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Democrat Sylvester Turner, endorsed by President Barak Obama, is the new mayor of Houston.

I’m going to dance on the table, take a swig of tequila, and go to bed.

Houston is safe.

Ted Cruz is such a patriot that he wrapped himself so tightly in the flag that it cut off circulation to brain.

In his very best robot voice, he called for FREEDOM!  Religious Freedom!

He even prayed for it.

And hired some people to pray with him, and called Hollywood to make a little halo thingy hang over his head.  And there fairy dust on his shoulders, no wait, that’s dandruff.

And he gave a speech.

“If I’m elected president,” Cruz shouted, “I will instruct the Department of Justice and the IRS and every other federal agency that the persecution of religious liberty ends today!”

Or maybe next week.

Two days later, this happened.

In a rebuke of Donald Trump’s plan to ban Muslims from entering the U.S., the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 16-4 Thursday on an amendment that confirms that the U.S. should not block people from the country because of their religion.

The four “no” votes were Sens. Jeff Sessions, R-Alabama, Thom Tillis, R-North Carolina, David Vitter, R-Louisiana and GOP presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas.

See, I told you he ain’t getting enough blood to his brain.

In Ted’s mind, freedom of religion means you’re free to be a Baptist, a Methodist, a Church of Christ, an Evangelical Lutheran, or a Presbyterian.  He’s a little leery of Catholics because … well, they’re not Baptists.

Thanks to Bryan and Larry for the heads up.