I am not going to make jokes about the Dallas Cowboys and sinking ships, okay?

Oh hell, you know I am.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will host Gov. Chris Christie at his home next month– helping to fill the coffers of his team’s most ardent fan among the 2016 contenders.

It’s a bundler party. The limit one person can donate is $2,700 but the guests are expected to raise that amount from ten other people, too. So … they are partying on other people’s money. You know, the Republican way.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Ted Cruz seems damned and determined to prove to you that he’s a psychopath.

First, he takes a cheap shot at Joe Biden the day after Biden buried his son.

Now, he’s decided it’s exactly the right time to take another cheap shot – at Jimmy Carter.

In his “soapbox” remarks at the Iowa State Fair on Friday, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz criticized Jimmy Carter’s presidency – a day after Carter’s moving public admission about his cancer.

You know that part of your brain where human compassion lives?  Cruz sold his for five minutes of fame.

Thanks to Larry and Merideth for the heads up.

How proud I am of the three American young men who stopped the train massacre in France.  Two of them were military – Air Force and National Guard – and the third was their non-military friend.

They did what Americans do and have always done – save France’s butt.

In all seriousness, I also want to say that the men and women in the Air Force take a lot of ribbing from the other branches.  They are called the United States Chair Force and Zoomies.  So please allow me to say on behalf of Airman First Class Anthony Sadler and the entire United States Air Force, “Take THAT, Marines.”

They were unarmed and even administered first aid to others after they took him down.

I do not know what Airman Sadler’s speciality is but I hope it’s something real nerdy.

I have two close friends in Missouri.  Deb and Craig keep me updated on Missouri politics and they keep insisting that Texas is way ahead of Missouri when it comes to good sense.  They might be right.

Men in the Missouri House have a problem.

House Speaker John Diehl was forced to resign following revelations by The Star that he exchanged sexually suggestive texts with a 19-year-old House intern. Two months later, Sen. Paul LeVota, an Independence Democrat, announced his resignation after two interns accused him of sexual harassment.

Republican Bill Kidd came up with a solution to this problem.  A dress code.  The female interns need a damn dress code.

He was seconded by Republican Rep. Nick King of Liberty.

“We need a good, modest, conservative dress code for both the males and females,” King wrote in an email to colleagues. “Removing one more distraction will help everyone keep their focus on legislative matters.”

T-shirt maker Raygun had its own idea of what Jefferson City interns might want to wear on the job.

Thanks to Deb, Craig, and everybody else for the heads up.

Years ago, we had a Republican congressional candidate in my neighborhood who was running for Tom DeLay’s seat when Ole Tom Retreated and Surrendered his seat in congress.  The guy hired some fancy pants political consultants who were determined to re-make him into something respectable.

His name was Dean Hrbacek and, bless his heart, he looked exactly like a penguin when he was walking toward you.  I know many a folk who hurt themselves trying to keep a straight face.  The consultant did a mailer and it was quickly discovered that Dean’s head was placed on another man’s body.

The story got even funnier when a little closet research determined that the body was of his main opponent.  Needless to say, it made statewide news and he even got a Texas Monthly Bum Steer award.

Well, the lesson wasn’t learned well.  I do not know if these are the same consultants, but …

Check the left hand.

Goodness sake, I think they should change the Jeb! logo to Jeb?

Hey Jeb!, a black man is trying to get into your pocket.

And I’m not even mentioning the creepy head shot.  He looks like he’s fixing to meet Hansel and Gretel at Grandma’s house.

If heads roll over this, one of them needs to be Jeb!’s.

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Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

A lot of folks have been sending me a link from my friends at Crooks & Liars about a guy named Clem O’Connor who wants all the Taco Bells in Tennessee shut down because “they are just too Mexican.”

It’s a very funny column.  But it’s satire.  It’s not true.

And the reason I know it’s not true is that nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks Taco Bell is Mexican food.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.