That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

In Oregon a 76 year old man accidentally shot his 75 year old wife in the stomach at 9:00 on Saturday morning.  She’s in serious condition.

Police suspect that her husband, who has Alzheimer’s disease, accidentally triggered a loaded gun.

Yes, a 76 year old man with Alzheimer’s disease should often have access to a gun in case Obama tries to take over Oregon.

Maybe it was something in the air Saturday morning because in Utah, this happened —

The man was watching an instructional video about how to manipulate his .40-caliber handgun on Saturday morning, said Tooele Police Officer Tanya Turnbow. But at some point, a round accidentally discharged, striking both the man and his wife, Turnbow said.

Instructional video with a handgun?  Point, pull trigger.  That’s about it.  Too damn bad he didn’t shoot the VCR.

No charges are being filed in either case because … FREEDOM!

Thanks to John and Trish for the heads up.

Five people were injured in the lobby of the Marriott in Clearwater, Florida, when a patriot with a concealed handgun license reach in his pocket for his wallet and discharge his .9 mm Glock instead.

Among the injured was a two year old and five year old.

Apparently there was no good guy with gun present.

Guess who is going to announce guess what on June 5th in Dallas …

Click the little one to get the big one.

Cool.  He’s running against Obama again.

by Primo Encarnación

Nancy Gordeuk, erstwhile founder and principal of TNT Academy, a Georgia for-profit school, has been let go.  You may remember her from Juanita’s post this Monday last, wherein she blamed the devil for all that racist spew dribbling down her chinless face.  After that sounded too much like an admission of guilt, she then attempted to claim she hadn’t said anything racist at all: “I didn’t know ‘black people’ was a racist term. I didn’t say the N-word or anything like that ’cause that isn’t in my vocabulary.”

Because shaming a whole segment of the population for behavior which occurs at every graduation I’ve ever been to is NOT racist, as long as none of the individual words themselves is a racist term?

Well, her board of directors disagreed, and bounced her pasty, flabby, white trash patootie out onto the street.  I’m guessing that the only thing that took them so long was deciding whether to throw her out the front door, or from a second-story window.

I’m further guessing that her next stop is FAUX News with Hannity, followed by a round of wingnut welfare via a GoFundMe extravaganza.   Anyone want to give me odds?

Allen West, Republican presidential candidate and renown self loathing expert became the victim, victim I tell you!, of WalMart’s oppressive Muslim agenda.

West touted that he had been viciously assaulted by Sharia Law at WalMart.

There was a young man doing the checkout and another Walmart employee came over and put up a sign, “No alcohol products in this lane.” So being the inquisitive fella I am, I used my additional set of eyes — glasses — to see the young checkout man’s name. Let me just say it was NOT “Steve.”

I pointed the sign out to Aubrey and her response was a simple question, how is it that this Muslim employee could refuse service to customers based on his religious beliefs, but Christians are being forced to participate in specific events contrary to their religious beliefs?

Good damn question and I guess we’ll discover the answer as soon at people under the age of 21 can sell alcohol.

If that man was any dumber we’d have to water him once a week.

I’d like to point out something.  In Texas, you cannot buy alcohol from midnight on Saturday until noon on Sunday.  I think that’s because all the Baptist ministers got tired of their church showing up drunk.  Non-Christians are being forced by law to participate in this Christian ritual of Sunday sobriety.  So West can kiss my big blue butt.

Second, my Momma does not drink.  At all.  She is opposed to drinking on religious grounds.  We did talk her into a Margarita on her 85th birthday under the theory that it would be good for her health to have a drink every 85 years.  She says she drank it but she didn’t swallow.  I love Momma. I do.  I told you that story because I am grateful that Allen West is not my momma.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Well, kiddos, it appears that the FBI has been spying on “environmental extremists” in Houston, Texas.  And the definition of environmental extremist is people who oppose the Keystone pipeline.

I am not kidding.

Internal agency documents show for the first time how FBI agents have been closely monitoring anti-Keystone activists, in violation of guidelines designed to prevent the agency from becoming unduly involved in sensitive political issues.

The documents reveal that one FBI investigation, run from its Houston field office, amounted to “substantial non-compliance” of Department of Justice rules that govern how the agency should handle sensitive matters.

One FBI memo, which set out the rationale for investigating campaigners in the Houston area, touted the economic advantages of the pipeline while labelling its opponents “environmental extremists”.

After The Guardian ran the story, Charles Pierce of Esquire Magazine picked it up and wrote —

… it is fair to conclude that what the FBI and TransCanada really were cooking up was a counter-propaganda operation using the investigative auspices of the FBI. In other words, the FBI office in Houston joined in ratfking the opposition to the pipeline. Gordon Liddy must be weeping for joy.

Okay, so why is the FBI conspiring with a foreign government to screw American citizens who oppose the foreign pipeline?  Oh yeah, they justify it by asserting that the Keystone pipeline is “vital to the security and economy of the United States.”

The hell you say?  It’s not our pipeline.  We don’t even get the oil.  I would suspect it would provide the same level of security as having a giant leaky x-ray machine in your backyard to check for burglars coming over your fence.

So what do we do about the FBI violating it’s own rules?  Two game suspension?

You gotta wonder if they are also monitoring President Obama.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.