Holy Crap: Allen West Ain’t The Brightest Light on the Christmas Tree Edition

May 14, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Allen West, Republican presidential candidate and renown self loathing expert became the victim, victim I tell you!, of WalMart’s oppressive Muslim agenda.

West touted that he had been viciously assaulted by Sharia Law at WalMart.

Screen Shot 2015-05-14 at 10.58.00 AMThere was a young man doing the checkout and another Walmart employee came over and put up a sign, “No alcohol products in this lane.” So being the inquisitive fella I am, I used my additional set of eyes — glasses — to see the young checkout man’s name. Let me just say it was NOT “Steve.”

I pointed the sign out to Aubrey and her response was a simple question, how is it that this Muslim employee could refuse service to customers based on his religious beliefs, but Christians are being forced to participate in specific events contrary to their religious beliefs?

Good damn question and I guess we’ll discover the answer as soon at people under the age of 21 can sell alcohol.

If that man was any dumber we’d have to water him once a week.

I’d like to point out something.  In Texas, you cannot buy alcohol from midnight on Saturday until noon on Sunday.  I think that’s because all the Baptist ministers got tired of their church showing up drunk.  Non-Christians are being forced by law to participate in this Christian ritual of Sunday sobriety.  So West can kiss my big blue butt.

Second, my Momma does not drink.  At all.  She is opposed to drinking on religious grounds.  We did talk her into a Margarita on her 85th birthday under the theory that it would be good for her health to have a drink every 85 years.  She says she drank it but she didn’t swallow.  I love Momma. I do.  I told you that story because I am grateful that Allen West is not my momma.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Holy Crap: Allen West Ain’t The Brightest Light on the Christmas Tree Edition”


  1. Back Up! Back Up!

    Allen West goes to Walmart?

    Stands in the check out lane?

    The buying alcohol….. I’ll believe.

    The rest of it?

    Nah!

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  2. I’m telling you it’s all about the WalMart! First tunnels now Sharia Law, where’s the FBI when you need them? Oh yeah, protecting unbuilt/ invisible pipelines and Columbian drug lords.

    Seriously, the kid, if there is one, ( Miemaw is undoubtedly correct – no way Alkan West does his own shopping much less goes to WalMart), probably didnt have a liquor license, or he was under 18.

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  3. Someone did a cartoon a while back about the pharmacists who didn’t want to sell birth control. There was a WalMart checker who didn’t want to check out anything made in China because of possible slave labor, a gas station guy who wouldn’t work on an SUV because it was low mileage and high pollution, and various other folks whose beliefs got in the way of doing their jobs but it wasn’t, y’know, “religious”…..

    Anybody refusing to serve people wearing clothes with two different fabrics?

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  4. innerlooper says:

    She says she drank it but she didn’t swallow. Next she’ll swear she didn’t have sex with your father. cleverly cute jj.

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  5. Allen West continues to be clueless. I hope he runs for prez. It will be entertaining, to say the least. The Beauty Salon is delightful and makes me laugh every day. Thank you.

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  6. I’d like to card Allen West, not to see his age, but his I.Q.
    Whatever ol’ Allen Double-Digits West score is, I’m sure it’s enough to get on stage at a Republican Primary Debate.

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  7. RepubAnon says:

    The really funny thing was that Allan originally characterized it as “creeping Sharia law.” In other word, he’s claiming that these so-called “conscious clauses” only apply to Kristians (real Christians would follow the “render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s” rule and follow secular law.)

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  8. AliceBeth says:

    Bigots always jump to the wrong conclusion. Thinking and evaluating is out of their level of intelligence. What a jerk.

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  9. UmptyDump says:

    West sits in the front pew of The Church of Thinking the Worst of People Who Are Not Like Us.

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  10. Old Fart says:

    But, isn’t the chance to deny service due to religious exemption EXACTLY what these people want?

    And, sorry, if it’s true for one religion, it HAS to be true for ALL!!!

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  11. Rhea, once used that mixing of fibers thing on a Repunk right in front of the National HQ of the Republican party in D.C. many decades ago when protesting their stand on the ERA which was trying to make it to 35 states for ratification. Punk challenged me as to why I wasn’t home doing female things such as ironing my husband’s shirts. Told him my husband said I would be better off protesting. He was furious and about to do something really, really stupid when I told him, “You have mixed the fibers in your clothing.” That did it. He knew more about the OT than the NT and he disappeared in a puff of horror into the nearest door in the building.

    Actually, that was fun. As for West, this guy should not be out in public without a keeper. So he decided on the basis of a name tag that he was being Sharia-ized? No one under a certain age in the retail business can do what he described on their own initiative. What the kid was doing was part of the retailer’s policy, but West, being chicken doesn’t dare go up against the store manager. Instead, he takes it out on a kid making minimum wage. Brother West, what goes around comes around and usually at bite in the butt level.

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  12. Corinne Sabo says:

    U.S. law, not sharia law. Mr. West is an idiot.

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  13. e platypus onion says:

    godliness is next to horndoggyness is next to gluttoness is next to nuttiness is next to greediness is next to covetousness is next to…….?

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  14. Corinne –
    That would make an excellent segment on Jon Stewart or SNL:

    U.S. Law, or SHARIA LAW?!?
    With three Republican contestants:

    “I’ll take alcohol sales for $100.”

    “Under Sharia law, is $100 worth of booze a lot?”

    “Yes.”

    “That’s correct! Would you like to continue? OK, alcohol sales for $200. Under U.S. law, would $200 of booze be considered extreme?”

    “Are you kidding me, that would barely cover before dinner drinks.”

    “Your answer is no? That’s correct!”

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  15. Marcia in CO says:

    I think all of your patrons are grateful for this: “I told you that story because I am grateful that Allen West is not my momma.” And, I might add, not your Poppa either!!

    LOL

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  16. Maggie reminds me to plug once again this wonderful scene from West Wing… including the abominable crab puff:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXJzybEeJM

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  17. Larry Cross says:

    I am just sick to death of these poor put-upon “Christians” claiming they are being forced to participate in gay weddings. NO YOU’RE NOT. If you are asked to bake a cake, cater a reception or photograph the festivities, you are NOT part of the celebration …. you are the hired help.

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  18. linda phipps says:

    I am sure that on the few occasions I have patronized WalMart and bought the arsenic infused cheap wine (that tastes good), that the Muslim cashiers have checked my purchase out, all of it. West is lying.

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  19. linda phipps says:

    Oh, I get it, the arsenic, they are jihadist checkers!

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  20. I was going to type, “West is lying. The story is clearly not true.”

    Then I went ot the site, and it turns out West figured out the story was fake: The age of the sales person was the issue, not the faith of the clerk.

    Why are Christians so desperate to be victims?

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  21. With the Texas Blue Laws that were in effect up until 1985, you could buy a hammer but no nails on Sundays. Looks like Allen West wanted to get hammered in a different way.

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  22. Larry from Colorado says:

    I moved to Texas in 1963 to attend pilot training at Webb AFB in Big Spring. We were newly weds and did not have a bread knife, so out I went (after church) on Sunday to buy one. I had to sign a statement that the knife could not wait until Monday.

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  23. maryelle says:

    This man wakes up everyday looking for a fight and if he doesn’t find one, he fabricates it. Nice try, West. It just don’t wash.

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  24. Maggie, you’re correct, mr. west shouldn’t be allowed out without a keeper. that “keeper” should be an MP as, by all rights, mr. west should be doing time in either a stockade, or a cell at the hague, for committing a war crime. whoever signed his commission papers should themselves be doing time, for a crime against the US Army.

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  25. Old Fart says:

    So…

    What would be a good deadline to ask RWNJ’s to admit that, when none of their BS has come to pass, they are just plain wrong?

    Is Jan 10, 2017 too early?

    (After years of this, just *SIGH*)

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  26. @corrine and @ Rick, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, brilliant, just brilliant! If not Stewart then maybe the nightly show…

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