So you thought the Koch Brothers bought the American political system?  Oh hell, those boys ain’t even major players.

Ted Cruz’s donors have raised $31 million in one week.

Securing the backing of the Mercers is huge for Cruz: Robert Mercer alone was the fourth largest individual donor in the 2014 cycle, according to Open Secrets. Over the past six years, Mercer, the CEO of the hedge fund Renaissance Technologies, has poured $37 million into various political causes. A Bloomberg profile published in October called him “the man who out-Koched the Kochs.”

I cannot imagine anything sweeter than all these idiots wasting their money.  Remember Sheldon Adelson?

Th downside is that you can buy a lot of dirty tricks for $31 million.  This is gonna be messy.

Look what Rand Paul Hisownself is selling on his own damn website.

That’s gonna be a popular one since he’s the worst flip flopper of all.

Embrace the flops!  Own them!

And it looks like he spent the rest of today by yelling “Get the hell off my lawn!” at reporters.

Thanks to Michael for the heads up.

Honey, I do not trust Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller with his own balls, much less the lottery balls.

(Click the little one to get the big one.)

Mark my word.  Sid’s wife is going to win the lottery this week.

Thanks to Austin Hat Lady for the heads up.

Montgomery County is dangerously close to Houston and they take their roads very seriously.

So seriously in fact …

Montgomery County Judge Craig Doyal opened Commissioners Court Monday morning at 9:30 and asked for a volunteer in the audience for an opening prayer. Again like last week Mary Hammer Menzel volunteered in the opening prayer. Like last week she brought in the road bond as part of the prayer expressing how it was really needed in Montgomery County. However then she referred to the ones against it as “Tools of Satan”.

Yes, Satan is a well-known anti-transportation advocate.  It’s easier for him to grab you when you’re not a moving target.

The prayer did cause some consternation.

Laura Fillault came up moments later and announced she was speaking for the road bond. “First off I want to say I am not a tool of Satan, I didn’t appreciate that part of the prayer, I do believe that the Lord Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior”. she said and said she believed he was worried about other things besides a road bond. Fillault said it is a road bond not a satanic ritual.

Well, since both women are for the road bond, we can safely say that cement is the paving choice of the angels.

And not everyone found the prayer to be out of line.

However, Precinct 1 Commissioner Mike Meador said Menzel should not be criticized.

“She does a great job when she is called on,” he said. “To criticize a personal prayer is wrong; it’s offensive.”

You’re offensive if you’re offended.  Got it?

East Texas, I love yew.

I don’t know if you know Tom DeLay personally like I do, but the guy is prissy.  He’s the only man I know who can strut sitting down.  He is also deeply evil, but I suspect you’ve already guessed that.  It would take a three day conference to tell you all the evil things this man has done.

He has the morals of a tom cat, earning the name Hot Tub Tom while he served in the state legislature in Austin.  Nobody else could drink liquor for a year in Texas because Tom drank it all one time.

But, oh how those things are forgotten now.

He went on the electric radio and denounced the governors of Indiana and Arkansas for adding LGBT protections to their bills.

“Religious liberty is the foundation of this country, and what they’re trying to do is undermine religious liberty so that they become an accepted sexual orientation,” the former House Speaker continued. “And we have got to fight this battle to the bitter end because when you let the government dictate to you what you believe and what your values are, this county is finished.”

Yah, Tom, let’s talk about your bitter end.

Slimy sumbitch telling me about about values.  A jury of his peers convicted him of a crime of moral turpitude and he skated only because a Republican judge overturned the conviction.

Hell, we had to hire special decontamination units in my county to clean the trail he leaves behind.

Thanks to Kathleen and Irene for the heads up.

I guess I was kinda on target at one of my paying jobs this month when I wrote about those wacky Libertarians.

Rand Paul just announced that he’s running for President of America.

And he promises to kill that animal on his head.

Okay, that was a cheap shot.  I shouldn’t have said that.  Poor man, he has no idea what’s on his head because his skull is so damn thick.

I have deep concerns about somebody who doesn’t believe in government wanting to run government.  I mean, why be in charge of something you don’t believe in?  It’d be like making me in charge of male superiority.  I’d kill it.  First day on the job – I would kill it.

I’m just warning you people.. that’s all.