Michigan.

A 61 year old guy who is not being named until his court appearance, which is a shame because I figure his name is Machine Gun Kelley, got into a minor accident where sideview mirrors bumped each other.

Monore County sheriff’s deputies said the man got out of his vehicle and fired at the other driver’s vehicle around 6:15 p.m. The incident occurred about a mile west of Luna Pier, a community 8 miles north of Toledo.

None of the shots struck the other driver or his vehicle, deputies said.

Deputy Ryan Sottile said the alleged shooter admitted being involved in a minor traffic crash minutes earlier and fired his handgun to get the other driver’s attention.

Well, I imagine it worked.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

One of my favorite people, Judge Susan Criss, is on HBO. Seriously.

That’s her in the background from the first episode in a series called The Jinx.  She was the judge in a trial where a millionaire named Robert Durst chopped a guy up and dumped him in Galveston Bay.  I know how the story ends so I won’t spoil it for you but I can guarantee you that it’s worth your time to watch.  She’ll have a speaking role in upcoming episodes.

You can catch the first episode for free on You Tube.  If you don’t have HBO, bake some cookies and then bribe a friend who does.  You won’t be sorry.

Mike Huckabee is filling the crazy void left by Michele Bachmann.  The Republicans have a deep bench in this area.

When President Obama suggested that Christians should not finger point when it comes to violence in the name of religion, the rightwing went nuts. The President suggested that Christians should get off their high horse, thinking they are all la-te-da and casting the first stone with sin all over themselves.

Holy cow on a sausage stick.  Mike Huckabee spake thusly ….

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) said Monday that Barack Obama’s National Prayer Breakfast speech proved that Muslims are only religious group that has the President’s “undying” support.

“Everything he does is against what Christians stand for, and he’s against the Jews in Israel,” he said on “Fox and Friends.” “The one group of people that can know they have his undying, unfailing support would be the Muslim community. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the radical Muslim community or the more moderate Muslim community.”

And that’s why he killed Osama bin Laden.  Amen.

Wow, Huckabee’s horse is so tall that the angels have to brush his hair.

Guys, I have known about this story for two weeks.  I kept trying to come up with a way to make it funnier, but I can’t.  I give up.

However, you should not miss this story.  If for no other reason than to prove that crazy people live everywhere, including very Democratic Vermont.

So state Sen. Joe Benning — a Republican who was actually trying to do a good thing, which he has probably learned to never try again — introduced a bill to adopt the motto “Stella quarta decima fulgeat.” — May the fourteenth star shine bright.” Because Vermont was the 14th state, see? Benning noted that when Vermont briefly minted its own currency, it was engraved with “Stella Quarta Deccima,” so the phrase had real historical cachet.

He was doing this at the request of a school student.  The public response was amazing.  Go to the link and read some of them.

Thanks to everybody and their Aunt Matilda for the heads up.

I know a lot of people who like the Libertarian Party because they are anti-war and pro-pot.

Well, I think they’ve been leaning too heavily on the pro-pot part because that wacky-weed has made them doodle in the noodle.

First there was the guy who thought requiring food industry workers to wash their hands after tinkling was way too restrictive to business growth.  Now we’ve got this guy —

Fox Business host John Stossel on Sunday asserted that most government was unnecessary because companies like Walmart would spontaneously provide assistance to disaster victims “in many more ways” than the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) could.

So after Katrina, Wal Mart would have housed the 250,000 evacuees who were brought to Houston?  Well, I wish they’d have held up their hands to let us know about that at the time. And that Hobby Lobby would have been delighted to handle the disposal of hazardous waste material after Hurricane Ike. And that Chick-fil-A will repair levees, handle low interest disaster loans to small businesses, and reconnect downed electricity distributions lines.

Waiting on Walmart.

I love how Libertarians always point to FEMA as not working because FEMA did not work under George W Bush.  It works pretty darn well before Bush and after Bush.  Honey, just because something didn’t work well under Bush, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work well.  Nothing worked well under Bush.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

There’s a guy named Marcus Hiles who is a giant fan and contributor to Governor Greg Abbott and Lt. Governor Dan Patrick.

I mean giant to the tune of $702,600 during the past year.  Hiles is a developer in Grand Prairie, Texas.  So, the boys should have known that Hiles wasn’t donating in hopes of better government, but they liked him anyway because they’re not hoping for good government either.

Hiles was Greg Abbott’s third largest contributor.  Hiles was so popular with Abbott that he was named to “the prestigious 2015 Texas Inaugural Committee, which oversaw the swearing-in ceremonies and celebrations for Abbott and Patrick last month.”

Wow, that’s some high cotton.

Dan Patrick named Hiles to his advisory board.

Then the Dallas Morning News did what both Abbott and Patrick should have done before becoming beholding to Marcus Hiles.

One of the largest donors to Gov. Greg Abbott and Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick pleaded guilty two years ago to a domestic violence charge that included an accusation he choked a woman into unconsciousness.

Yep.  Marcus Hiles.  The incident was in October of 2012 in Las Vegas.

It’s a seedy story.  Hills met a 29 year old dancer at a Gentleman’s Club in January of 2012 and that “he had purchased a $160,000 Bentley for the woman, lent her $150,000 in cash and bought her expensive jewelry.”

At a party in Vegas, she “left his side for a little while” and that upset him.  I get that.  A man buys arm candy.  A man expects that arm candy to stand still, dammit. So, he beat her up.  Badly.

So here we’ve got us a woman whacker hosting the Gubernatorial Inauguration and sitting on Texas government advisory boards because he bought and paid for that, too, just like he bought and paid for a 29 year old dancer.

Somebody get Dan and Greg a pole and put on some music because they, too, are arm candy.

After being informed of Hiles’ admission of guilt in the case, both Dan and Greg say they are donating his contributions to women’s shelters because they are incensed at domestic violence.

Yeah, they are so incensed that they can’t even look at it, so they just look away.

I have to tell you something. Even without the whacking, I imagine most Republicans would not like the idea of a man who buys arm candy being on Republican advisory boards.  

It boils down to this: a whore is a whore. Dan Patrick and Greg Abbott are whores. And now, kinda like Hiles’ girlfriend, they have a black eye, too.  But the only pain they felt is the excruciating pain of returning money you thought was yours.  That’s real hard for Republicans.