Self-loathing is not pretty and that kinda explains Phyllis Schlafly’s hairdo.

Phyllis has been hating women since at least 1965 and instead of getting another hobby, she’s got that whole hooter-hater thing floored in neutral.

Phyllis is concerned about rape on college campuses but she’s got the cause figured out:  all those pert little booties.

The imbalance of far more women than men at colleges has been a factor in the various sex scandals that have made news in the last couple of years.

Too many women are going to college. And that should not be.

But, Phyllis has some solutions:  (1) only admitting 50% boys and 50% girls, eliminating all the spare ta-tas, (2) stopping college loans so students don’t have time to think about … you know … stuff, (3) or “reinstate all the men’s sports that were canceled by an extremist feminist application of Title IX.”  Yeah, I quoted that last one because I knew you wouldn’t believe it.

The feminists have abolished more than 2,200 men’s college sports teams since 1981, such as wrestling, gymnastics, track, golf and even some football in order to limit the number of male players to Title IX guidelines.

Yep.  Not enough golf is the #1 cause of rape.

But she ain’t finished on that deep pondering —-

The popularity of the new college football playoff system illustrates how successful men’s college sports can be for participants and fans alike. But when colleges eliminate men’s sports, women are hurt by the resulting gender imbalance in enrollment.

Oh dear Lord in a bowl of bean dip, that makes my head hurt.  So, Phyllis is saying that men only go to college to play sports.  And if sports aren’t available, all that’s left is rape.  Okay.  Well, I guess that explains the Republican congress.

Lemme start again.  Phyllis doesn’t just hate women – that woman hates everydamnbody.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the heads up.

I want you kiddos to meet Cecil Bell Jr, a redneck good ole boy if ever there was one.  The only problem is that he’s a redneck good ole boy elected to the state legislature.

Ole Cecil does not cotton to other people’s lifestyles.  Cecil doesn’t like lifestyles.  He doesn’t have one to speak of so yours is overly interesting to him.

Plus, he’s got that whole uglier than a mud fence thing going. Seriously, Cecil couldn’t even get laid at the Chicken Ranch with fifty dollars stapled to his forehead and a hen under each arm.

Bless his heart.

But what he lacks in beauty he more than makes up for in ignorance.  Cecil is a graduate of Oakwood High School.  He didn’t feel the need for further education because all they teach you is stuff like lifestyle.  And arithmetic.  Who needs arithmetic?  Not Cecil.

In the Texas Legislature they call people who are too dumb to know giddy-up from whoa a special brand of people – they are called “furniture.”  Cecil is a hat rack.

So Cecil has filed a bill called “Preservation of Sovereignty and Marriage Act,” numbered HB 623, which is dangerously close to 666 and almost as evil.  This bill says —

State or local government employees giving out same-sex marriage licenses would stop receiving their salaries under a bill filed Wednesday for the 84th legislative session.

So, since the courts will say that same gender marriage is legal in Texas, Cecil has decided that a way around that is to punish lowly government workers.  If they issue a marriage license to any folks other than one man and one woman, they will longer receive a salary, benefits or a pension.  Cecil’s bill does not state for how long they won’t get paid but I suspect it goes along the lines of alpha to omega.

Cecil believes that Texas is has sovereignty so we can pick and choose which federal laws we want to follow.

Now here’s where things get especially weird.  What with all this talk about local control, you’d think that Governor Greg Abbott would have a cow before he suggests that the Government of Texas can overrule what local cities and school boards want to do.  Well, Honey, you’d think wrong.

Governor Abbott says the Sate of Texas can overrule cities who have banned plastic bags.  He says they can also overrule cities or counties who have outlawed fracking in their geographic boundaries.

Governor-Elect Greg Abbott criticized city bans this week and said reducing “regulatory burdens” would make Texas a better state.

“The truth is Texas is being California-ized and you may not even be noticing it,” said Abbott as he spoke Thursday. “It’s being done at the city level with bag bans, fracking bans, tree cutting bans. We’re forming a patchwork quilt of bans and rules and regulations that is eroding the Texas model.”

He doesn’t have a solution for being 47th in education or poor children not getting health care, but bygawd if you have a plastic bag Greg Abbott will come protect it.

When boys like Abbott and Ole Cecil say they want local control, they mean Greg and Cecil Control.  They want to control everything from foreign policy to garbage pickup to your hoochy koochy life to what President Obama can say and what your mayor does on Saturdays.

Every time you hear a Republican say local control, remember that local means them.

And really bless Cecil’s heart.  Just walking by him will make your clothes wrinkle.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Customer Kyle, like me, is a fan of the tin foil hat wearing social media.  He sent us this nugget.

First off, do you get extra points when you hit his foot while it’s in his mouth?

The story comes from “an insider,” which means somebody who knows somebody whose cousin knows a guy who went to a Rick Perry rally three years ago.

The insider, who is deep within Republican politics, said an unusual number of black-clad, heavily armed state troopers are escorting Perry to speeches and other public events, such as a recent dinner in South Carolina.

“My state representative was just at a dinner honoring Gov. Perry and observed an unusual amount of security, so [he] asked around and found Perry has a $45 million bounty on his head from [a] Mexican cartel,” he said. “They have been trying to keep it quiet for obvious reasons, but the security is humongous.”

And those “obvious reasons” would be …..?  No, seriously, why would you keep that quiet?  Truthfully, Rick Perry can’t keep quiet about what he had for dinner so why this?  Hell, the man even videotaped his baptism for release to the media.

To be honest, there ain’t nothing in Rick Perry’s head worth a buck ninety eight, much less $45 million.

Do you really believe that anybody would be afraid of these guys?

Look, Rick Perry became a millionaire while never having a job in his entire life except elective office. Obviously, somebody is already paying for his head — while he’s wearing it.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Let’s mosey on up to Fort Bragg in North Carolina where good soldiers are damn good soldiers – especially those who make breakfast for their wives.  And the ungrateful floozies shoot them for it.

Fayetteville Police say Zia Segule, 28, left for work. His wife, 27-year-old Tiffany Segule, set the home alarm system. Zia Segule returned to the home unannounced to surprise his wife with breakfast. The alarm sounded and Tiffany Segule, who had gotten back in the bed, shot her husband in the chest through their closed bedroom door.

That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.

The soldier was treated and released from a local hospital.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

I have an account with Presssable, which used to be ZippyKid.  It went from being a pretty good website host to being awfully damn worthless.  You can see all the problems here.  I am paying $90 a month for three websites.

The worst part is that they are very hush-hush about what the problem is for all these outages and if they even have a plan to fix it.

Being as geekless as possible, it is a major deal for me to have to move a site host.  I have three sites to move, which triples the headaches.  So, I am hoping to do this right so I don’t have to do it often.

I’ve heard good things about bluehost from a customer.  If anyone else has dealt with them, please let me know if you like them.

Meanwhile, friend JuanitaJean over on Facebook and we’ll keep up to date on all the tech stuff, too.

I’m on the road to Austin this morning, but with everyone else my good thoughts are going toward Paris.