I’ve been pretty easy on the preacher men lately so here’s one you’ll love.  Rick Wiles is a radio evangelist.  He wasn’t pretty enough to make it on teevee.

He’s decided that maybe this Ebola stuff is good.  In fact, it might be the miracle we’ve been waiting for.

“It may be the great attitude adjustment that I believe is coming,” Wiles continued. “Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and abortion.”

“If Ebola becomes a global plague, you better make sure the blood of Jesus is upon you, you better make sure you have been marked by the angels so that you are protected by God,” Wiles warned. “If not, you may be a candidate to meet the Grim Reaper.”

I’m not sure what the mark of the angels is but I doubt it’s a boob tattoo so most of us are outta luck.  I mean y’all, most of y’all are outta luck.

County Fairs are a big deal in Texas.  They shut down school on the first day of the Fair and have a big parade.  Then everybody heads to the Fairgrounds where there’s rides for the kiddos, animal judging, a Fair Queen contest, baked good competition, and booths selling wares and ideas.

I want to show you our Fort Bend Republican Party Fair Booth.  It is hard to cram this much hate and stupidity into a 5 by 15 foot booth.

What you see propped up are boards with about 50 bumper stickers, filled with negative bumper sticker mentality.  Not one positive message.  No helpful ideas.  No pro nothing.  Just all the things they hate.  They are asking for a $5. donation for a bumper filled with crap.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

And …

Just getting warmed-up.

Yeah, yeah, they went to the Tea Party convention and bought the entire display case.

So, here’s where I stop and admit that I have a favorite —

Babe, I’ll pay for your ammunition when you use it for contraception and shoot your winkie off.  Deal?

I’ll keep you updated about any drunken brawls over at the Republican Party fair booth.

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Poor Kansas.

Seriously, Poor Kansas.  They don’t have any money.

Facing a $238 million dollar deficit, Kansas has made the decision to auction off sex toys it confiscated for back taxes.

Kansas’ budget woes are so dire that the state government has resorted to selling off furry handcuffs and vibrators seized by its revenue department.

The Topeka Capital-Journal first reported on the sale Wednesday, explaining that the new bounty, numbering in the thousands of items, resulted from a five-shop, four-city raid on a company that owed more than $163,000 in state taxes.

What?  There are no seized drugs we can put on Craig’s List?

The “toys” will be sold online by the original owner with the agreement that he will use the profits to pay back taxes.  This assumes, of course, that the owner of the emporium known by the name of “Bang” can be trusted to pay his taxes this time when he didn’t last time.

Let’s see, there was a decision to be made:  Kansas can either accept the Medicaid expansion funds or go into the porn business.  Apparently, that was not as difficult a decision as you’d suspect.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

I did not know until I voted by mail today that we have such a colorful list of United States Senate candidates:

So there, Oklahoma.  I’ll bet you don’t have a candidate named Spicybrown.  However, I am making no bets on Louisiana.

Rick Perry is asking to be excused from his October 13th court date because he’ll be prancing around Europe and he’s waaaaay more important than his indictment indicates.

On Monday, Perry’s lawyers asked the judge to let the governor miss a pretrial hearing set for Oct. 13, the week of which he plans to be in Europe. Perry’s legal team also proposed excusing Perry from all future proceedings in which evidence is not submitted.

The prosecutor says that Perry should put his prissy patootie in the chair at the defense table and hush the heck up.

“From non-violent drug offenses to white collar crime to intoxication manslaughter — our system of justice works because everybody is treated equally,” McCrum writes in the filing. “From carpenters to lawyers to judges accused of anything from tickets to federal felonies, all are expected to appear in court.”

Which, of course, translated loosely from lawyerese is “sit your butt down, son.”

But here’s the line I like best in the story.

Earlier Wednesday, a British think tank announced Perry would be speaking there on Oct. 14 — one day after the scheduled pretrial hearing in Austin.

A think tank?  Perry at a think tank?  Where’s he gonna get some think?  Perry has always had real bad luck when it comes to thinking.

Maybe it’s that wry British sense of humor at play there, huh?

Thanks to Oto for the heads up.