Although in the senate race he got beat on the head so badly that he has to unzip his pants to see out, Steve Stockman swears he’ll be back.  Kinda just like the black plague.

“We had fun, and we’ll probably do statewide again,” Stockman said in an interview with the Dallas Morning News on Wednesday, less than 24 hours after the Texas primary where Stockman received what might conservatively be called a shellacking against Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) in the Republican primary.

Frankly, getting arrested again for valium in your pants sounds a lot more productive, fun, and promising.  And it would certainly get more positive press coverage than his political career did.

We here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., are going to miss Steve.  We’d love to see him go to work as an aide for Louie Gohmert or Lady Gaga.

Tom DeLay has finally found work.  I know.  It was scary there for a while.  We were kinda scared he’d be living on the streets, stealing blankets from old people.

The Washington Times is a written Fox news.  The newspaper was founded and owned by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church, who by all accounts, ruled the editorial position of the newspaper.

And now, they have hired Tom DeLay.

Tom DeLay, once one of the most powerful officials in Washington, will join The Washington Times as a weekly columnist and radio personality.

Starting this week, Mr. DeLay will appear on a weekly on-demand radio show with Andy Parks, who separately hosts “Live from the Washington Times” on WRC AM-1260 on weekdays. Mr. DeLay’s 30-minute program will be streamed on the Kaliki-based, on-demand radio network that was recently established in partnership with The Times.

Mr. DeLay will elaborate on the themes he develops on air into a weekly column for The Times.

Hey, it’s a step down from Dancing With the Stars, but a step up from stealing kids’ lunch money, his former job.

Thanks to Jay for the heads up and John for the graphic.

A Texan visits Oklahoma City and decides he needs some new duds for the Jason Aldean concert.

Jason Aldean

So, he drops by that haute fashion house, Bass Pro Shops, to buy something to catch the ladies’ eyes.  He is with his five year old son in the dressing room when he takes off his gun to try something on.

The five year old picks up the gun, shooting himself in the finger and his dad in the leg.

Oklahoma City police did not charge the father.

Because reckless endangerment is apparently not a crime in Oklahoma.

Bass Pro Shops is denying all responsibility for attracting butt ignorant shoppers.  They issued a statement.

“Bass Pro Shops is committed to our customers’ well-being should an emergency arise. This is why each Bass Pro Shops store has a dedicated operations support department and a manger on duty every hour that a store is open. In the event of an emergency, our protocol requires immediately contacting the appropriate first responder. In addition, we strive to maintain good working relationships with local first responders in markets where we operate.”

In other words, “If one of our damfool customers lets his 5 year old shoot you, we we will find the store manager and instruct him to call 911.

Thanks to Brian and Mark for the heads up.

I have to stop for a minute to tell y’all something.  Pat Robertson needs to be taken to the rest home and allowed to graze.

Here’s his latest.  It’s okay for cousins to marry if God tells them to – just so long they don’t have “mongoloid” children.

Oh Sweet Jesus, please go have a chat with that man.  Answering a letter from a viewer who said that a friend of hers felt that God wanted her to marry her cousin, Robertson answered …

“There’s nothing in the Bible that says you can’t marry your first cousin. Here you say everybody’s in favor of it. Alright, go for it.”

But the TV preacher added a final warning to “check the genetics.”

“You don’t want to have some mongoloid child,” Robertson noted, but immediately admitted that he shouldn’t use the term.

You know, I can’t call the scripture, but I am pretty damn certain that there’s something in the Bible that says you should not be an idiot.

Y’all, Steve Stockman isn’t winning but Dan Patrick is.  He has 52% of the vote in my county.  My county is crazy.

Thankfully, Kesha Roger won’t win.  Unthankfully, she will probably be in a run off.

Results are sloooooow.

I give up.  See you guys in the morning.

Here ya go – results.

Y’all, I saw my first Steve Stockman sign today.  It was at a poll that is 93% Democratic.

Okay, everybody is asking what the hell that thing is?

I do not know.

Some people think it might be the canon from the Gonzales flag.

However, I suspect that after all the tampon talk in the state legislature this session, I figure that’s what it’s got to be.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Some folks think it’s