Montana, maybe the sky is too big or something, but crazy grows wild and freely up there.  Maybe it’s dripping down from Canada, in French.  I dunno.  But, it’s crazy.

Lavin: Looks the Role

Montana Rep. Steve Lavin has introduced HB485, subtitled “Mitt Romney on Steroids and Fertilizer.”  Okay, okay, the bill is real but I just made up the subtitle.

Here ya go —

A BILL FOR AN ACT ENTITLED: “AN ACT REVISING ELIGIBILITY TO VOTE IN MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS AND TO FILE FOR CANDIDACY FOR MUNICIPAL ELECTED OFFICE; ALLOWING A QUALIFIED NONRESIDENT PROPERTY OWNER OR DESIGNEE OF AN ENTITY TO VOTE IN MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS AND TO FILE FOR CANDIDACY FOR MUNICIPAL ELECTED OFFICE; AND AMENDING SECTIONS 7-1-4121, 7-4-4104, 7-4-4301, AND 7-4-4401, MCA.”

Sweet Mother of Landowners, that means that corporations can vote.  Maybe they can even run for office.  Wouldn’t that be cool?  Hey, my friend, are you voting for WalMart or Kodak?

But, don’t stop there.  Lavine is skipping ladder rungs on the Tower of Nuts.  He wants to allow people to salvage roadkill.  Now at first glance that sounds dandy, until you go out to dinner.   Yeah, you guessed it – roadkill deer meat in a restaurant.

You know, maybe Republicans are on to something with this smaller government thing.   Maybe they should leave.  That would be a great first step.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

That’s a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Texas Attorney General Abbott hauled his hiney to the Texas State Rifle Association this weekend.  He brought a flag to run up the flagpole to see who saluted.  His flag:  what Texas needs is not better education or health care or jobs that will support a family.  What Texas needs is more guns, dammit!

Attorney General Greg Abbott on Saturday denounced gun-control efforts by President Barack Obama and Democrats in Congress, saying the best way to deal with gun violence is to put more firearms in the hands of citizens.

“More guns equals less crime,” Abbott told the Texas State Rifle Association, which is holding its annual convention and gun show in Mesquite.

So, if you come to Texas we’ll meet you at the border and give you a gun.  With education and healthcare, you’re on your own, good buddy.  Maybe you can shoot you some. Then you can take it to the taxidermist and get it stuffed to hang over your fireplace.  Then when Joe Bob comes to visit you can say, “See that health care up there over the fireplace?  I killed that sucker myself.”

Greg Abbott was Teaparty when there wasn’t a Teaparty.  I took this picture myownself in 2006 at the Fort Bend County Republican Headquarters.

.

Here’s what I think.   Abbott will take on Perry in the GOP primary in 2014.   He smells oops blood in the water.

There are many things to dislike about Greg Abbott and Lord knows I’ll talk about them all before that election, but the #1 reason to dislike him is that he’s further right than Rick Perry.

Well, you have to admit that it would be the perfect cover for drug runners.

Police in Tennessee, in a black SUV and in full body armor, pulled over an elderly couple because they had a marijuana (or so the cops thought) bumper sticker on their car.  In fact it was a buckeye leaf – the couple are Ohio State Buckeye fans.  The cops then ordered the couple to remove the bumper sticker, even though the woman had already explained it was a buckeye, not marijuana.

Now, through the miracle of modern investigative journalism, I searched  the Tennessee criminal code to see what laws were being broken by having a picture of marijuana on your car.

Well, glory be.  At least that’s still legal in Tennessee.  It’s against the law to require your children to pick up trash along the highway on Easter in Tennessee, but by gawd, you can display pictures of marijuana or buckeyes, dammit.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

I’m not saying that Arkansas Republican State Senator Jason Rapert should change his Twitter background, but …

.

Maybe he should at least think about it.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Ted Cruz is moving from “What the Hell?”  to the “Bless His Heart” politician ranking scale.

The sumbitch has doubled down.

When Texas Senator Ted Cruz was accused of counting communists at Harvard, did he make matters better by saying, “I was at a fundraiser, see?  And I needed these people’s money, see?  And I decided to go with the blood of lamb speech and get them all riled up and scared, see?”  No, he did not.

He hid in his hole and let his spokeswoman respond.  You know, like a real man would do.  A real tough man.

Moses Rose

In Texas, when we talk about cowards, we mention Moses Rose, the only man to leave the Alamo when Colonel William B. “Billy Bob” Travis drew a line in the sand. But hellfire, even Moses Rose didn’t send his spokeswoman to do it for him. Which, in my mind, makes him a bigger man than Ted Cruz.

So, while Cruz is off somewhere feeding his ego, the only information we can get about his speech that included communist counting at Harvard was —

His spokeswoman Catherine Frazier told The Blaze website that the “substantive point” in Cruz’s charge, made in a speech in 2010, was “was absolutely correct.”

Holy cow.  That’ll burn your biscuits.

Kinda makes you wonder where else Cruz was counting communists.  I think he can check with Michele Bachman about how many are in Congress, but I don’t feel safe unless we have a total for everywhere.  How many commies work at the Dairy Queen or haunt the hall of hospitals disguised in gowns and masks?  Is it safe to go anywhere?  How ’bout my vet?  Oh dear Lord, is Truman going to a commie vet?

Somebody get Ted a clipboard and a pencil.  He needs to set about commie counting for the safety of America!

(Y’all, I hate to admit this but I didn’t know that there were any commies left.  Honestly, I don’t think there’s any leftover commies in Russia and Castro is pretty damn old and sick.  I thought we had moved on to the Islamic Terrorists to scare people.   Maybe Ted didn’t get the memo.)

I don’t do things like this often. In fact, I do them never.

But, today is a very special day.

You have seen comments here by Bud Malone. I have been honored to get to know Bud and his charming, beautiful, and smart daughters, Kathleen and Kelly.  I met him right here at the beauty salon when he emailed me something very funny.  We have never met in person, but have exchanged emails, letters, gifts, sadness and joy online and in real life. They have made me and ole Bubba feel like family.

Bud comes from a life filled with labor and Democratic politics in Minnesooota. Among many other things, Bud was Commissioner of Labor and Industry in Minnesota. He has spent his entire life helping make life better for the middle class. He’s still spending that life wisely and with just the right amount of impishness.

Several years ago, Bud lost his lifelong love, the beautiful Barbara.

I know his heart is still heavy but he’s picked up where she left off with his daughters and granddaughter. God was wise to give those four women a man like Bud to teach them to roar like a woman.

In Texas we have a saying about a good horse: he can stand without hitching. It means you can get off the horse and walk away to tend business and the horse won’t move. He can be trusted to stay and wait for you and doesn’t have to be watched, warned or hitched to a fence post to do the right thing. Bud Malone can stand without hitching. Very few people can be trusted that much.

Today is Bud’s 90th birthday.

I love you, Bud Malone. I love your sense of humor, your wisdom, your thoughtfulness, your funny way with words, your anger at injustice, and deep abiding faith that government can work for us all.

Happy Birthday, Bud. You are simply the best and here’s to 90 more for me to enjoy you.

By the way, Bud sent me a personalized autographed picture of Emma Thompson, one of my favorite actresses, because Bud has that kind of pull. Eat your heart out.