Bless the Texas Republican hearts.  They are so used to saying No that now they are saying it to themselves.

Go here.  (Screen shot below.)

And then click the one that says 2012 Platform of the Republican Party of Texas.  Either Word version of PDF version.

And you get this:

All the other links work just fine and dandy.

Which means …. they scrubbed their own platform from their website.  Now you gotta be reeeeeal embarrassed about something to do that.

The Belles of Heaven Republican Womens Club is gonna be outraged.  They’ve already cross-stitched that sucker and have it display in the foyer of their churches.

Thanks to Kary for the heads-up.

Don’t eat at Chick-Fil-A.  Just don’t.

Do you know what causes bad breath?  Chick-Fil-A.  Dandruff?  Chick-Fil-A.  The need for trifocals on your glasses?  Chick-Fil-A.  That thing where two of your nails break right before a big party?  Chick-Fil-A.  Warts?  Well, not Chick-Fil-A, but they’re working on it.

I figure that if Chick-Fil-A can bare false witness, so can I.  Lying is the same as stealing, you know.

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Aren’t you glad he took gun lessons?  Can you imagine if he hadn’t?

A man and three bystanders have been slightly hurt when his gun accidentally fired at a Walmart store in Dallas.

According to police, a man was reaching into his pocket to get to his wallet when the gun he was carrying in his pants holster dropped to the ground and went off accidentally.

Police say the suspect has a license to carry a concealed weapon.

Police say the man was grazed by the bullet in the back of his leg and two shoppers at the store were also injured, possibly by pieces of debris.

A woman and a young child in the Dallas store were treated at the scene for minor injuries but they were not taken to the hospital.

Police say the suspect made two bad decisions.  He left the store and when an off-duty officer approached him, he ran.  He was arrested a short time later.

The suspect is charged with injury to a child and evading arrest.

Why did he run?  My guess is he needed to clean up, you know, in the bathroom.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

… I’m addicted to the little stickers.

If you’re in Texas, go vote for Paul Sadler.  It’s real important.

Paul Sadler.  Today.  All this week.  Vote.

Seriously?

Mitt Romney would restore “Anglo-Saxon” understanding to the special relationship between the US and Britain, and return Sir Winston Churchill’s bust to the White House, according to advisers.

“We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special,” the adviser said of Mr Romney, adding: “The White House didn’t fully appreciate the shared history we have”.

Remind me again, Mitt.  What color are you?

Yeah, and Mitt’s gonna shoot for that Monarchy thing, too.

Thanks to Cheryl for the heads-up.

Cap’n. Pete Olson, who insists on having a picture of himself working on The Love Boat on all his campaign literature, is my own personal congressvarmint.

He’s Phil Gramm’s Mini Me. Pete was elected after Tom DeLay stepped down to live out his life in shame and humiliation for surrendering and retreating on Dancing With The Stars.

We don’t hear much from Pete because he’s kinda dumb but smart enough to keep his mouth closed.  He just kinda takes up air and votes when Mitch McConnell nudges him.

So, having him take to writing stuff is not a blue star idea.  Cap’n. Pete is all outraged over President Obama mentioning that no man is an island unto himself.

Pete is, dammit.  And so are the Purse Party Ladies!

Yeah, you got that right – the Purse Party Ladies.  Confronting the President, he teaches ….

In our capitalist system, businesses are created by an individual or group of individuals who have an idea for a product or service that others will want to purchase and, yes, so they can make a profit. This fundamental truth of our opportunity society is what built America, not government, bureaucrats, or mass armies of community organizers.

Do you really need examples? If so, consider the woman who starts selling homemade purses that she thinks women will want to buy, or a cook who decides to open a restaurant to feed people meals that he thinks they will appreciate.

Purse Parties.  That’s the ticket to wealth in America!

Thank you for the nice lecture, Mr. Government Teat Boy.  Yeah, I called him Government Teat Boy.

Pete Olson has never held a private sector job in his whole entire life.  He served in the Navy, which is real nice, so taxpayers paid for his education.  From that day on, he’s worked as an aide to Phil Gramm and John Cornyn.  Then they got him elected to congress.  Never once has he had a job where I didn’t pay his damn salary.  Hell, without me that man would be starving in the dark.

That son of a motherless goat needs to start giving damn purse parties so he can learn that cloth does not magically appear on your doorstep every morning, your buyers have to get there on public roads, and you are not gonna become Oprah, or even Phil Gramm rich,  by selling damn purses.

“Mass armies of community organizers…” that was real cute, Mr. Government Teat Sucker.

You know, Cap’n Pete never saw combat in the military which is a good thing because he’s got more gall than guts.

Thanks to Kathleen and Steve for the heads up.