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Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

I live in a very Republican neighborhood.

There was a house on the street where The Mean Old Man lived.  Adults and children alike referred to him as The Mean Old Man because, well, he was mean and old.

To everyone’s relief, he finally died.  I think they had to get a minister from out of town and pay him a bucket of money to say something nice about this guy.  His house sat unsold and empty for two years because everybody who went in to look at it said, “Holy crap, this house smells mean!”

Finally, somebody in a neighboring town bought it and is renting it out.   I think whoever bought it really, really hated me because they moved in some folks who make Sarah Palin look liberal and Jerry Falwell seem open-minded.  They are trying to out-Jesus everybody on the street.

While I did not think it was possible to trivialize Sweet Jesus any more than the WWJD bracelets.  I was wrong.

Apparently Jesus is on the ballot his election season.  I do know that he was on the 2010 ballot, but his last name is Ortiz and he ran for county commissioner in Val Verde County.  He lost.  I don’t think that’s the Jesus the sign means, but I could be wrong.  However, given that his last name is Christ and not Ortiz, I think betting my opinion would be safe.

Jesus, the man whose life inspired Handel’s Messiah,  Michelangelo’s Pietà, and Amazing Grace, also inspired Santa Claus kneeling over little baby Jesus, and …. oh gosh, this sign.

Trivializing Sweet Jesus is the first thing that gives me a headache about this sign, but here’s the part that makes my brain quiver.

The political sign hunkering right up close to the Jesus one is for a guy, Craig Brady, who got a very young subordinate pregnant and left his wife to marry her.  He then gave her a workplace promotion she had not earned.  He’s proud of being endorsed by a former sheriff who was run out of office for being extorted by a topless dancer with some mattress thrashing while she was under indictment for arson.  And The Boy’s Club – a Houston Topless Strip Church – was involved.  And it was gross.

But this house, on my street, supports both Jesus and whorin’ around.

My head hurts.

By the way, the website the sign wants you to see is here.   It’s a “church” in Hicksville, New York.  No, I am not making up that city name.  However, that does seem like a loooong way to go just to get a yard sign to make my head hurt.

And there are some people who don’t believe me when I say I live in LaLaLand.

You know the Secretary of State in Arizona who got 1,200 emails- because, dammit, he counted them – to keep President Obama off the ballot in Arizona because he’s not a United States citizen?

Proving once again that ridicule is far more fun than raw insane anger, we have this …

But what about Mitt Romney? What about the persistent rumors that Mitt Romney is in fact, a unicorn? There has never been a conclusive DNA test proving that Mitt Romney is not a unicorn. We have never seen him without his hair — hair that could be covering up a horn.

You can go sign the petition.  We need PROOF, by gawd!

Thanks to TexasEllen for the heads up.

There’s this guy in Florida running against Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  His name is Ozzie deFaria and his game is dog catcher.

He put up a website called ObamaAttackDog.com with a picture of Representative Wasserman-Schultz wearing a dog collar.

Really.

Apparently, he’s into the kinky stuff.

Plus, there’s a that whole thing about how we ladies just love women depicted as dogs.

Dream on, Ozzie deFaria of Weston, Florida.  Dream on, Dude.

Ozzie deFaria of Weston, Florida. Growl for me, Baby.

Thanks to Linda for the heads-up.

Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman introduced a bill ending equal pay for women.

Dumb move, Mr. Bachelor.

Please let Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman know how you feel, Girlfriends.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Remember when Newt Gingrich called Spanish “the language of living in the ghetto?”

Boy Howdy, this has gotta hack him off.  I mean, here’s the poor little chubby guy flat broke and he can’t even get a free pizza.

Pizza Patrón, a 104-unit, carry-out pizza chain headquartered in Dallas, is raising eyebrows both inside and outside the Latino community with a planned promotion to give away thousands of large pepperoni pizzas on the evening of June 5 to folks who order in Spanish.

It can be broken Spanish. It can be first-time Spanish. But it has to be Spanish.

If it makes Newt feel any better, this is a Texas chain.  If you don’t speak Spanish in Texas, you’ll starve to death.  If it ain’t barbeque or Tex-Mex, it’s not worth eating.

For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, here’s how to order a pizza in Spanish, “Newt es un idiota, sin posibilidad de ser presidente, gracias a Dios.”

Yes, translations is just another of the free customer services at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

Enjoy your pizza!

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.