Just like Valentine’s Day was invented by candy-makers, oh-dear-God-that’s-tacky greeting card companies, and diamond cartels, the Obama reelection is being brought to you by ….. Smith and Wesson.

FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) — Gun sales are booming across Texas, and some buyers say their growing belief that President Barack Obama’s re-election is inevitable is fueling their race to bear more arms.

Yeah, because there was so much damn gun control after his first election.

Book author Alan Korwin tells the Star-Telegram that some are worried that Obama’s re-election would embolden a major gun control push.

Korwin has written nine books on gun laws and operates a gun laws website.

Korwin says people worry that if Obama wins “he will go after firearms in a way we have never seen before.”

Oh yeah, and book peddlers.  I forgot about book peddlers.

I wonder, can we run out there and stock up on middle class money just in case Romney is elected?  Or maybe consistency?  And other word for slut – we’ll need lots of those.

Let me sell you some tin foil hats if case Ron Paul gets elected.

Thanks to Bananas for the heads-up.

Head on over and win our Super Tuesday illegal wagering event.

Thelma said that first place should be a box of moon pies and second place should be two boxes of moon pies.

And for those of you in the area, I will be introducing my personal hero – State Representative Senfronia Thompson – at this event.  It’s open to all Democrats, local and foreign.  If you have never heard her speak, you’re missing a big treat.

Ya know, Texas is often grateful to Mississippi for being so danged proud of being in last place on  quality of life issues.  It keeps Texas on the subflooring instead of the basement.

But, I think we owe a tip of the hat to Georgia today.  Georgia Chief Judge David Barrett, chief judge of the Enotah Judicial Circuit, has resigned.  Why, you might ask?

Barrett pulled out a gun in his courtroom in the Enotah Judicial Circuit and told a women in a domestic assault case “You might as well shoot your lawyer.”

Hell, shoot my lawyer?  You hand me a gun in a courtroom on a domestic assault case and I’m unloading that sucker in the general direction of the Ex Mr. Wonderful. It would go something like this:  “Judge, you see that twit sitting over there at the other table?  That jerk walloped me!  Do we have any case law on how many times do I get to shoot him?  I’ll tell you what, Your Honor, I’ll start pulling the trigger and you tell me when I’ve fulfilled the statutes.”

I am not saying that there aren’t plenty of lawyers’ butts I might enjoy using for buckshot target practice, but holy cow, a judge offering a gun in the courtroom?

Thank you, Georgia.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

I just want to remind y’all what it is we’re fighting here.  You can click the little one to get the big one.

And in case you need to wear your religion to the gun store —

No, I ain’t making this up.  I only have an intermediate irony license.  Republicans?  They shot right past the senior license to expert since 2008.

When you open a dictionary to the entry for wuss, this is what you get.

And Republican damfools want Mitt Romney to be President?

North Korea bombs US military base in South Korea.  Romney response:  That’s not the bomb I would have used.

The next day – Romney: It probably is the bomb I would have used but not on that particular base.

The third day – Romney:  I didn’t understand the bomb.

The fourth day – Romney, once it is discovered that Bain Capital makes bombs:  I support bombing.  Always have and always will.

Thanks to Deb and Jim for the heads-up.

I dunno, maybe it’s just me.

But, it seems there is a strange coordination between Republicans obsessing on sparkin’ and then one of their men getting caught with their pants around their ankles and God only knows what’s in the room gaining their attention.

Take, for example, the latest “Let’s Talk About S-E-X and How Bad It Is / Oops” event.

One of Maryland’s top politicians used his security detail to set up weekly sexual encounters with a subordinate in Annapolis parking lots, to maintain dossiers on political opponents and to make sure his two lovers never ran into each other, according to an indictment released Friday.

One of the highest ranking Maryland elected officials, Anne Arundel County Executive John R. Leopold, ain’t exactly the Robert Redford of politics.  Girlfriends, when you look at this guy does hunka hunka burnin’ love come to mind?  I’m betting no.  Okay, that’s not true.  I’m betting oh dear God no.

But, Good Lord, it took a whole police force to keep his honeys apart.  Now, what was it Rush was saying about taxpayers paying people to have sex?

You’d think they’d learn to shuddup about kanoodlin’.  But, you’d think wrong.  I guess they have to talk about it so much to get warmed up for doing it.  Hey, whatever puts the tassel on your cap is fine with me, but please don’t make me (1) pay for it, (2) have to look at you and think about it, and (3) have you tell me I’m doing it wrong.

Deal?

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen, who only dances in the parking lot, for the heads-up.