When things get so nuts in Texas that you think the whole place is going to implode on itself into a big old heap of whining conservative crazy, it is New Mexico’s job to release a little steam off of Texas.

It appears to be working.

CLOVIS, N.M. (AP) — A former New Mexico mayor who called President Barack Obama “the carnal manifestation of evil” and said Obama’s election was part of a CIA conspiracy has been elected to his former job, according to unofficial results.

Not only that, but the damfool got 63% of the votes.  Hell, he’s more popular than Mitt and Rick combined!

His name is David Lansford and he belongs to the ATLAH Media Network in New York, which appears to be an insane asylum.  They refer to President Obama as “The Long Legged Mack Daddy.”  That may be a compliment, but I seriously doubt it being as how they are also connected to the Moral Nation Radio Network, where they appear to broadcast in German.

I’d wash your hands after you leave that link.  Luckily, I have these handiwipes that Fenway fran left for me when she visited last month.

Thank you, New Mexico.  That gives us another 24 hours of Rick Perry without one of horsemen appearing.

Thanks to David B for the heads up!

This entry is brought to you by the letters W,T, and F.

When it comes to marketing, I am sharper than a pocket full of toothpicks.  That’s why I am the most popular beauty salon in a three block area. So, I understood when Rush Limbaugh’s advertisers started pulling out like Catholic birth control.  A lot of folks have wives and daughters and all of them have mothers, so attacking women is not gonna make you real popular.

Now, I figure that Rush’s average listener is so dumb that it takes them 2 hours to watch 60 minutes, so mattresses and loans and AOL (Hell, I didn’t even know they had AOL anymore) are his target market.  I mean, you are not going to sell fine wine or a subscription to Scientific American to Rush’s listeners.

But, smart marketing folks have figured out how to fill the Rush void.  Well, advertising void, not brain void. They know Rush’s market.

Now that over a dozen companies have bailed on Rush Limbaugh after he called Sandra Fluke a “slut” on air, a couple of new companies are swooping in to buy up that abandoned air time. AshleyMadison.com, the dating site that helps people cheat on their significant others, has offered to buy up all of Limbaugh’s existing ad inventory.

Oh, but that’s not all ….

Another dating site, SeekingArrangements.com is also looking to buy some ads on Limbaugh’s show. Described in a separate press release as “the world’s largest sugar daddy and sugar baby dating website.”

Honey, that there is some dandy marketing.  Now we’re just waiting for Viagra, Happy Hookers Trailer Park, and the Betty Ford Clinic to pick up the rest of Rush’s market.

Thanks to Lorraine for the heads-up.

I have to be honest with you, the staff and ownership of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. was flat-out down-right giddy last night with Newt making a comeback and a megalomaniac rambling speech, Romney boring as a school play your kid isn’t in, and the Russian Roulette of Offending Entire Groups of People that Rick Santorum becomes when given a microphone.

And while the people on television are letting the Three Monkeyteers fight it out and trash talk each other, we are sad to say that numbers talk and bullcorn walks.  It appears that the only GOP candidate with a pocket calculator is Mitt Romney.

The upshot is that even though Gingrich won Georgia, according to NBC News’ projection Tuesday night, he could end up with fewer than half its delegates. Romney, meanwhile — despite finishing second or third — could come away with a quarter of them or more.

Math like that made it possible for Romney to hit 323 total delegates, according to NBC News’ projections through 12:35 a.m. ET — more than triple the number won by Gingrich (105) and former Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania (101) and 13½ times those won by Rep. Ron Paul of Texas (24).

It’s a numbers game.

But, there is still hope for more fun.  Lots more fun.  I’m talking Tundra Thrill fun.  If this sucker makes it to the convention, Sarah Palin is pondering on a late entry because she’s tanned, rested, and still dumber than a sack of hammers.

.

Newt Gingrich won Georgia!  Yea!

Your comments on the night are welcome!

Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska voted for the Blunt Amendment and then made the mistake of going back home to Alaska.  Where the sluts were waiting on her, and ho boy, they were plenty hacked off.  Honey, they were acting like overheated hell.  They damn near melted Alaska.

Murkoski is now apologizing for her vote.

“I have never had a vote I’ve taken where I have felt that I let down more people that believed in me,” she said.

She claimed that she thought she was voting for religious freedom.  Nobody with a triple digit IQ believes that, but it gave her an escape route from Alaska women ready to snatch her bald.

Asked how she felt about Rush Limbaugh’s slut comments, she said —

“I think women when they hear … mouthpieces like that say things like that they get concerned and they look to policymakers,” she said. “That’s where I feel like I have let these women down is that I have not helped to give these women the assurance they need that their health care rights are protected.”

I believe in redemption.  Murkowski says that if she could do it all over again, she’d vote the other way.

I imagine so.  The only other alternative was to let them put moose antlers on her and send her out on Sarah Palin’s target practice range.

Thanks to Robert for the heads-up.

Great news about voter ID out of Wisconsin today —

Circuit Judge David Flanagan said that the Milwaukee Branch of the NAACP and Voces de la Frontera had demonstrated that their lawsuit against Gov. Scott Walker and the state Government Accountability Board would probably succeed on its merits and had demonstrated the likelihood of irreparable harm if the photo ID law is allowed to stand.

Flanagan ordered Walker and the GAB to “cease immediately any effort to enforce or implement the photo identification requirements” of the law, pending a trial on a permanent injunction scheduled before him on April 16.

This is wonderful news, especially for elderly people with no driver’s license.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed that it pours over into Texas.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads-up.