I need to make something clear.  I don’t have little “Like” or “Dislike” buttons because I am not Mark Zuckerberg and I did not invent Facebook.  I barely invented me.

The way I figure it, life has way too many little buttons.  Hellfire, I don’t even like the buttons you punch to vote.  I want a little place out to the side where you can write your reason for voting for this guy.  You should be able to write, “I am not fond of this guy but he’s the lesser of six really evil people,” or “most honest woman in a den of thieves,” or even, “I have come to expect very little from this incumbent but sometimes very little from one man is better than a whole lot from another.”

If you want to say something at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., speak up.  Loudly.  Thelma’s blow dryer is louder than a restless mule in a tin barn so sometimes it pays to bellow when you have something to say.

But, about once a month, I get an email complaining that I need Like and Dislike buttons.  No.

Sometimes they are even very flattering, like the one I got this morning.

juanita,

i’ve come to love you a lot but is there any way you can put a “like” or “fave” button on the comments so i can do that? some of your readers are almost (and i mean almost) as funny as you are. and astute…and all the other things that make you my first read of the day.

I’m honored.

Okay, so we are a large collection of folks who think laughter is better than stalking Newt Gingrich with intent to barbeque.  I freely admit that the only reason I write this stuff is to read the comments.  So, if you want to say, “Dadburnit, that comment by Lucy was something I’m gonna write down and carry in my pocket,” then say it.  No button punching.

You don’t have to be clever or smart or funny or even literate, although literate helps.  Just write your name in the box and say “Amen, Becky,” unless, of course, you’re not talking to Becky.

Yes, I do have the best commenters on the internet machine.  I know that.  Don’t be afraid to jump in and say something dumb.  It ain’t like we know where you live.

Okay, so I don’t have any tattoos but I am strongly considering getting one on a landmark birthday I’m having this summer.  It just seems like the right thing to do.  I’m doing ’cause I want to.  Which, in my mind, is the reason most people do anything.

Except the Steeple People.

The Ecclesia Church is getting tattoos for Jesus.

Tattoos depict what Christians call the Stations of the Cross, the path Jesus took to his crucifixion and resurrection.

“In our church, and in a lot of places, I’m sure, are looking for something meaningful to mark themselves with. And we would say there’s nothing more meaningful than telling the story of Jesus,” Seay said.

Okay, there’s a rule:  you cannot blame a bad tattoo on Jesus.  Seriously.  If you want a tattoo, get a damn tattoo but please don’t use Jesus like that.

I hope they don’t get hepatitis for Jesus.

Remember the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office and their $300,000 drone that they crashed into their fancy SWAT vehicle because they have money to crash, dammit?

Well, welcome back to Montgomery County and  Rick Perry’s Texas.

The imprisoned father of two children found living in an abandoned school bus in Texas says the family home was only meant to be temporary.

Mark Shorten said Thursday he had planned to build a house on the wooded lot near Houston. But then he and his wife were arrested in 2010 on charges of embezzling money from Hurricane Ike victims.

Child welfare agents took custody of the children this week after a postal worker became concerned about the unkempt siblings, who are 5 and 11.

Because, you know, local government knows best.

In Rick Perry’s Texas, and Montgomery County, if those kids wanted to be fed, clothed and housed, they would have chosen to be born to better parents.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for shedding a tear with me today.

Y’all, this is serious and it ain’t normal.

Pat Robertson came out for legalizing marijuana.

No, I read it twice just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

“I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol,” Mr. Robertson said in an interview on Wednesday. “I’ve never used marijuana and I don’t intend to, but it’s just one of those things that I think: this war on drugs just hasn’t succeeded.”

Dude, is he high?  Did somebody slip some weed in his communion wafer?

You want to know the bad part of all this?  Now we all have to say that we agree with Pat Robertson about something.  How darn embarrassing is that, dammit?

Maybe it’s a plot.  I mean, after all, the guy is still weird.

Recently, he was quoted as saying that victims of tornadoes in the Midwest could have avoided their fate by praying more.

My bet is that the solar flare thing crossed the wires in his brain.  Next think we know, he’ll be riding on Willie’s tour bus.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

Next Monday, we will hear from Attorney General Eric Holder whether or not Texas Voter ID laws violate the Voting Rights Act.

If you can see lightening and hear thunder, you know that Texas Voter ID laws are a whole platoon of egg suckin’ dogs.

Today’s Houston Chronicle published the results of their research into the matter and discovered that “as many as 18 percent of all registered voters across Texas [are] apparently lacking state government-issued photo IDs to match their voter registration cards.”

In actual numbers, that means $2.4 million Texans who are registered to vote may be turned away at the polls.

But, awwww … lookie here what our adorable Republican friends have done:

Counties that lean Democratic are most heavily impacted.

And the second most impacted?   Old people.  That’s who.

And the third most impacted?  Women.  Some of us change our names on our driver’s license but not on our voter ID.  For example, my voter ID is listed as simply Susan Bankston, but my driver’s license says Susan DuQuesnay Bankston.  A picky Republican precinct judge would be within his/her authority to not allow me to vote.  Wanna buy ticket to watch the kerfuffle that’ll follow that authoritarian mistake?  Try to stand between me and the voting booth and Medusa takes over my body.

If Voter ID stands, I will be at my local voting location with my Voter ID, my driver’s license, a notarized letter from my Momma saying I was born in Texas and not an easy child to raise, a snake-killing hoe,  my entire collection of Texas Legislature voodoo dolls, and a bad attitude so large that qualifies for its own zip code.

That’s just a heads-up to you Republicans.  I am not putting up with your crap.  Not even a little bit.  You stole an election in 2000 and look what that got us.  You are not doing it again.