Yeah, We Take High School Very Seriously in Texas
Mack Breed, an assistant football coach at John Jay High School in San Antonio, did not like the officiating at one of the school’s games.
So he asked two players on the team to assault the ref right there on the football field. They did. The video is here.
So, as you could suspect, there is overwhelming colossal mild upsetness over this ref whipping event.
Former John Jay High School assistant coach Mack Breed pleaded guilty Monday to misdemeanor assault charges stemming from accusations that he instructed his players to tackle a referee during a game in September, ESPN reports.
Breed was sentenced to one year in jail with a $3,500 fine, but instead will be placed on probation for 18 months as defined in the terms of a plea deal.
Honey, I know people who littered and got a stiffer punishment than that. That’s because you can mess with Texas but you cannot mess with Texas High School Football.
You know, there are certain people I would be willing to pay a $3,500 fine and 18 months probation to hit. I would not, however, ask someone else to do it for me. Nor would I blindside anybody.
I want to tell you a story about my friend and one of the best politicians I ever knew, County Commissioner Ben Denham. This was about twenty-five years ago and Ben has since gone on to that great campaign in the sky.
Ben had a constituent by the name of Buck who was unhappy with him. Buck continually came to Ben’s office and cussed out Ben’s secretary if Ben wasn’t there to cuss at. Ben’s secretary was a prim and proper Sunday School teacher by the name of Miss Mattie. Miss Mattie did not take kindly to cussin’.
One day Ben had enough and just happened to be there when Buck shows up and starts cussin’ Ben right there in front of Miss Mattie. Ben told him to watch his mouth in front of Miss Mattie. Miss Maddie also told him for the umpteenth to watch his mouth.
He refused to watch his mouth. Holy cow, it just made him madder and he called Ben names that aren’t even in the dirty part of the dictionary. It would have singed the ears off a sow.
Once more, Ben asked Buck to stop cussin’ in front of Miss Mattie.
Nope. As Ben says, “I just did not know the magic words to make this guy stop.”
Ben told Buck, “This is the last time I’m gonna tell you this. You can talk all you want to but you cannot cuss with Miss Mattie sitting here.”
Buck replied, “Who’s gonna stop me?”
Ben hauled off and smacked that man right in the nose. Knocked him to the ground with Miss Mattie running around squealing, “Oh my, oh my. What have you done, Commissioner?”
Ben called the police, turned himself in, and then marched over the Justice of the Peace, his friend Ike, and paid the $200 fine for simple assault. All in about 2 hours.
A lot of people who know Buck, me included, called Ben and offered to pay his fine for him. He told me, “I did the crime. I’ll pay the fine.”
Until his dying day, Ben told people that was the best $200 he ever spent.
I just thought you’d like that story.
I’d pay the fine to wipe that smirk off Carnival Cruz’s face.
1@Mike
Save your money bud. That smirk was surgically implanted by space aliens during one of Raphael’s (many) kidnappings by space aliens. The aliens also used an anal probe. Liberally.
2@Micr
I didn’t say how it was going to be wiped.
3At $200 a whack I’d invest at least a thousand dollars in the Presidential campaign.
Money well spent.
4Keep an eye on this guy Mack Breed. He should never be allowed to coach any kids again in any sport. Not even Pop Warner. Especially Pop Warner.
5Ted Cruz has the perfect face for a Go Blue Texas fundraiser. Piñatas, dart boards, dunking tanks, heavy bags, target bags …
6Is there a quantity discount? If I mortgage the house will someone line up the R-Klan politicians and have them look up and to the right?
7I referred high school football in Texas for many years. You haven’t lived until 20,000 Texans stand up and go Boohoo at you. I also got booed for throwing a flag on the band at Spring High School.
8This video went viral months ago. What happened to the two innocent students who couldn’t say no to trying to injure an official?
9Yep, the Texas twin city where I attended College had/has a lower fine (it was $200ish) for punching somebody, than they did for a provoked dog bite (i.e. if someone broke into your house, at that time it was a “legal” bite, but the city would charge you something like 400 dollars for it. Plus impound the dog for two weeks.) I don’t think there is a one bite rule anymore, now your dog is in trouble for any bite.
In the same time period, if you shot someone breaking into your house, the joke was always that you needed to wait until they’d fall into the house for it to be legal. (But no fine.)
At least they charged him more than you’d get for a drunken brawl?
10I had the fortune or (mis) to be stationed at Ft.Hood on my return from Asia many years ago, and even though there were few large schools in the area I saw facilities that most small colleges would be proud to own. High school football is indeed taken most seriously all over the state.
11Hmmm. I got that idea years ago when I saw a weekend edition of a big city newspaper and the sports section weighed more than a cracklin’ pig on a platter. Moral of story: I never read a newspaper that addicted to the crack of high school football. There’s nothing in them worth learning to use at a cocktail party.
12@l’angelomisterioso
Come on up to DFW area.
There’s a $60 million football temple in Allen, where I’m certain student achievement skyrocketed with the opening of that monstrosity.
Further south there is an older but still luxurious temple in Mesquite ISD just a bet east of the LBJ.
Also older, but continuously improved are temples in El Paso and Odessa.
And I’ve heard from a cuz in Katy that a 60 million taxpayer dollars will be spent there as well to build a nice temple for that football worship.
13@EPO – According to the Sports Illustrated link in JJ’s item, the two “innocents” were “suspended indefinitely” by their team and required to attend an “alternative school” for 75 days, while criminal charges apparently are still pending. My personal take: no more high school sports of any kind for them and expulsion from their school (John Jay). Allowed to graduate high school from some other school. Court probation. If they keep their noses clean and get their high school diplomas, extinguish the probation and expunge the charges. There should be an opportunity for redemption, and that miserable excuse for a coach shouldn’t be allowed to use his authority to ruin these young people’s lives.
14If anybody wants a Trump piñata, I’ve seen photos of them and I think they’re readily available in Mexico. Try your local bodega or the internet. There ought to be a Cruz version but I don’t know that I’ve seen one; I have to avert my eyes when there’s any chance of a look at that slimy bugger.
15I heard that the coach also had his teaching license permanently revoked. So no more HS football for him, thank Dog. Though I’m sure plenty of college teams would love to have him.
16Also a court-ordered anger management class. Yeah, that’ll help.
Thanks UmptyDump,Rhea and Lunargent. I am so much better educated than I was this morning thanks to youse guys.:)
17Thanks for a fun reminder. Hadn’t thought about Ben Denham in years. Them were the days!
18read the story on the Burnet Bulletin website and look at how many hours of community service, etc. the coach has to do. Better than paying a big fine, I think.
19I am under the impression that being cussed out is considered to be an assault. (Wasn’t there a Supreme Court case on that ?) If that’s the case, you should be able to make a serious argument that you were acting in self defense.
20Big grin. Great story.
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