Okay, you guy can chip in and help me write my Outsmart column this month.  I’ve got a decent start so offer suggestions for Twenty Reason the GOP is Avoiding Texas.

As you’ve heard by now, the national Republicans chose to have their 2016 Presidential convention in Cleveland, Ohio, rather than Dallas, Texas.

There’s a good reason for that.  Texas Republicans.  Seriously, think about it.  Texas Republicans are so flatass crazy that other Republicans don’t want to be seen around them.  Texas Republicans are the crazy uncle you lock in the attic.  Our Republicans are the wackiest damn Republicans in America.

So here’s the reasons National Republicans won’t come to Texas.

1.  They heard that we barbeque Teslas.

2.  Successful gay mayor in Houston.  Totally a Democrat.

3.  Successful Hispanic mayor in San Antonio.  I mean, like Mexican.  Totally a Democrat.

4.  Unsuccessful Dopey Governor in Austin.  Republican.

5.  Fact:  Louie Gohmert is considered normal in East Texas.  Okay, maybe not normal, but not highly abnormal either.

6.  Now forcing crude oil use on bicycles.  Pedal and spill it.

7.  Ted Cruz wants to declare war against Mexico, and just to be safe, New Mexico.

8.  Sarah Palin once described Texas as, “where the dumb people live.”

9.  The humidity is sometimes described as “involuntary baptism.”

10.  We have outlawed the singing of “I’m Proud To Be An American” because it has the word America in it.  We don’t like America.  There are muslims in America.

11.  You know the myth that every Texan carries a gun strapped to their leg?  No longer a myth.

12.  Wanted a skeet shooting contest at the convention replace the roll call vote.

You gotta have more…..

There’s gotta be a Drill, Baby, Drill joke in here somewhere.