Yeah, But It Sounds Like Fun To Me
The rightwing in Arizona better pray for rain because their damn hair is on fire.
Judson Phillips is the president of Tea Party Nation in Arizona. Bless his heart, he has the dirtiest mind of anyone I know. His big concern about Governor Jan Brewer’s veto? Penis cakes.
Yeah, you read that right.
Judson Phillips: Dirty Mind
Should a devote baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitallia [sic]? Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior?
Judson contends that forcing this upon people is exactly like slavery. Exactly. Well, you know, except that slaves didn’t get paid and were whipped, sold, and torn apart from their families and taken places they didn’t want to go and raped at will and hung for no good reason. Other than that – exactly like slavery.
Now I have to tell you that I have a lot of gay friends. Not one of them would have a penis cake at their wedding. Let’s face it, all wedding cakes are pretty gay anyway. But, let’s pretend they do. Why would they force someone to do that when the hetrosexual community already has that covered. (Momma, do not click that link.) Why would they force an rank amateur to make one when odds are pretty good that they haven’t seen an actual winkie with the lights on?
Thanks to Jay for the heads up.
What happened to Nookie’s Erotic Cakes in your town? Did the Big Hair Antennas to God crowd succeed in closing them down?
1Too bad that Judson’s first name isn’t Dick. Then we could take up a collection and send him a nice big penis cake with his photo pasted on the end.
2I went to an all girls catholic high school.
When I was a senior, somebody baked a penis cake as a birthday surprise. The sprinkles were artfully placed.
We were celebrating in the locker room when we were alerted that one of the nuns was coming through. The cake was cut into so many little pieces and we stuffed ourselves with the remaining evidence.
Seeing the cake (I did not bake it, my mother would have killed me) did not make me gay and I left the church because of the sex abuse crisis.
What kind of religion is so tenuous that baking a penis cake will be so detrimental to a persons religious belief?
3You’re welcome! Great post, JJ! The wingnuts really are the ones who are fantasizing way too much here. I’ve heard gay men say that even *they* don’t think about gay sex as much as the Religious Right does! That tells you all you need to know.
4I think I’m getting old, no human should have one of those cakes inflicted upon them, I feel like my eyes have been assaulted–but the bakers comments–“This was a hoot to make!” Well, then, she’s at choice–my gay/straight friends have too much taste to use one of those cakes…but people get to choose, fill niches, and if they don’t hurt anyone else, do as thou wilt.
5The idea that really bugs me is that people (still) think that being “gay” is something you choose–Huffington ran a piece that had that mistaken idea in it yesterday (something about women over 50 should be bisexual) so that tells me “you choose it” is still out there…did you choose your blue/brown eyes? That’s what your orientation is akin to…I won’t say hair color, because that we can change!
I suspect many of these wing nuts are a bit more gay than they are comfortable with. They just refuse to accept it.
6@Elise said: “my gay/straight friends have too much taste to use one of those cakes”. Exactly. What gay couple would be that tacky? It just shows you how little these RW folks know about gay people. There may be some debauched types — gay or straight — who would have an erotic cake at their wedding just for a laugh, but that would never be the norm. And like JJ said, no one who wanted a raunchy wedding cake would ever look to hire a caterer who didn’t already have that type of baking experience anyway. Get a grip, wingnuts.
7@UmptyDump: Mr. Phillips seems to have the unreasonable fear that wedding cakes with a large picture of Judson Phillips are in great demand at gay weddings.
8Yes, I clicked on the link and suddenly I’m feeling hungry.
9Good grief.
10Holy Gohmerts! Fun with stereotypes and projection. Thanks, Judson. Now go thrill yourself and sit on that ice sculpture. You know you want to.
11Raunch is pretty much an equal opportunity condition.
12What no one points out is that under current law no one is forced to do these things. Of course, there may be consequences if they refuse, but that doesn’t change the fact that people have the right to choose what cakes they bake and what weddings they photograph. Worst case, they might get sued, but that is highly unlikely and is even more unlikely to result in any damages being awarded.
Also note that these same people who want to be able to choose what cakes to bake are adamant that gays shouldn’t be able to choose who they marry.
13The café in the town where I work, baked a penis cake for a randy old fella of 92 for his birthday. It was a big hit; everyone thought it was funny and the old guy loved it.
14He can’t spell “devout,” either.
15I had a (heterosexual) friend who’s husband gave her a milk chocolate penis, we asked her if she had some her answer was classic, “I just couldn’t put a knife to it!”, she said.
16My favorite line about this was that supermarket bakers would not like baking cakes for Gay weddings, Jon Stewart made the point that anyone getting Gay married was highly unlikely to buy a supermarket wedding cake, how true.
Many, many, many moons ago, I was at my friend’s 40th Birthday Party. She happens to be a lesbian. She opened a gift, everyone laughed & passed it around. It was handed to me & I had no idea what it was. When I asked, they laughed and told me it was a soap in the shape of a women’s private area. I told them I just never saw one from that angle before. Hilarity ensued. I won’t tell you what they did with the meatballs.
Judson Phillips is either humorless, mean, stupid or gay. I’m going with the humorless, mean & stupid trifecta because all my gay friends have a wonderful sense of humor.
17To answer your question(s) Judson: No. No one should be forced to perform a service they find personally repugnant. That does not mean a customer is refused service! “Yes, we’ll bake you a cake other than the one you described. We don’t do that type of cake.” That is a defensible position in a court of law. No business is required to accommodate EVERY request by a customer.
And a word to the “expressive” types. If you want a penis cake, go to a shop that specializes in that type of confection, OK? Don’t try to force YOUR desires onto somebody else. They might just not like that. M’kay?
18classic side effect of overmedication
19Good lord. That’s a long list of products.. I’m guessing (and it’s just a guess) that most of the customers for these cakes are at least nominal Baptists, at least in this area. Maybe the LGBT community wouldn’t order one of those cakes for their wedding, but obviously someone is ordering them for something. If I ever did decide to spend money on something like that, I certainly wouldn’t go down to Kroger for it. I would want someone with a little experience to do the work, and I don’t think Kroger will ever sell enough of those to gain the necessary experience.
20Kate, that brings to mind the story of the nonagenarian who married the 22-year-old gal. At the reception, the town busybody walked up to him and said, “Well, I just can’t imagine that a man in his 90s would ever want to get married.”
To which the elderly gentleman smiled and replied, “Who says I wanted to?”
21Good one, UD! I do not know if I have ever been to that site before, “Right Wing Watch”, but when I came back to check on the hair on fire segment, I clicked it on (having gone to the cake baker’s the first time) and I guess (after using the brain bleach) a “Thank you” is in order to those of you brave enough to read those people and bring back tidbits (eech–spine shivers) for us to read and see how really scarily, crazy Pat Robertson and his ilk are. I’ll take a whole roomful of happily married, witty, intelligent gay people over any “one” of those perverts in the news on that site satan’s minions are LEGION and I believe that page is full of them. The world really, really is upside down, with good, bad and bad, good. And indifference the most evil of all. What is that poem, “the worst are full of passionate intensity…thank goodness for the internet! Later.
22“second Coming” by Yeats…sigh, full brain that’s getting old!
23Around NashVegas, we only hear about Jughead’s clueless TNN is when he is ridiculous enough to get himself a spot on cable news…Baggers have never really taken off here in Music City, USA so Jughead, the failed lawyer, spends months thinking up some idiocy and spews it….cable brings him on teevee….he grifts for dollars and goes back into his evil hive until he needs more funding. Complete grifter.
24*TPN, sorry.
25Oy, gevalt. Erotic cakes (from places like Masturbakers) are not for weddings (although I suppose they COULD be); they’re for occasions like bachelor and bachelorette parties, divorce celebrations, and the like. Judson’s imagination is a little one sided, no?
26@Elise said: “I guess (after using the brain bleach) a “Thank you” is in order to those of you brave enough to read those people and bring back tidbits (eech–spine shivers) for us to read”. You’re welcome! I’ve read Right Wing Watch for many years, and I’ve been following the RW for decades. I’m a lifelong Progressive but I’ve always wanted to know what the “other side” was thinking. I recommend that all Dems and lefties follow Right Wing Watch, Southern Poverty Law Center, and visit and subscribe to right-wing websites and newsletters. This is not just to stay current on what the opposition is up to, but to genuinely understand where they are coming from. I have right-wing friends, and I love them. We will never agree on politics, religion, social issues, etc. But at the end of the day, we can share a laugh about something inconsequential, or talk about genuine human issues that all people are concerned with. The Right Wing is another planet. Some of us need to go into outer space and visit them and see what they are all about. The “aliens” may scare us, but the other side of that is: We can be ambassadors to their planet in the cause of peace and justice. It can’t hurt to try.
27Forget the cake. What wedding couple, gay or straight, asks the photographer to take pictures of them in the nude or performing sex acts? This guy is sick!!
28How may Arizona (or any other state) bakers have been asked to make penis cakes?
29I agree, Ms. J. Love isn’t just a warm fuzzy feeling. It is a determination to try to find areas of agreement and work to make life more tolerable for everyone. It ain’t easy. And JAKvirginia, that is good advice: all businesses have to be able to set their boundaries and be matter of fact about it. If you get bored and try to find really awful disgusting cooked items that might appeal to a 12 year old boy, you can google around and you will find things that nobody with any class would produce or even set on the table and they’re not 12 year old boys either. (I was trying to find recipes that kids would gag at.)
30Corinne Sabo, my best gohmert estimate would be women celebrating divorces from gohmert husbands as the leading consumers. Am sure John Wayne ‘lost it’ would have preferred Lorena ‘did bob it’ had gone to a bakery.
You silly gohmert, Judson. If you had any friends, straight or gay, you’d realize penis cakes as a probability at pre-wedding parties. It’s a spoof, ‘k? Fun. Something women do to enjoy, while we boys do our bachelor party fun. Lighten up loon, it’s win-win, when everybody has fun.
31Penis cakes? Seriously? That is riDICKlpuss. Never have seen at any PA bakery. Plainly, I haven’t lived.
32@Marge #30 Thank you, Marge! Yes, all of us need to work on finding common ground with our opposition, or humankind will self-destruct. We don’t need to give up our principles to do this. On the contrary — the more we stick to our principles, the more sincere we will be in our efforts to reach peace with the opposition in the name of humanity. True Progressives are peacemakers. Sometimes it seems like it’s not worth trying to understand and find common ground with the Right-Wing, but as Nelson Mandela said: “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
33Diane asked:
***
What kind of religion is so tenuous that baking a penis cake will be so detrimental to a persons religious belief?
***
It would be a faith that is so fragile that it requires constant reinforcement and affirmation everywhere throughout the day. It would be a faith that it worries that its children will be lost to the devil if they attend public school for seven or eight consecutive hours without being lead in group prayer. It would be a faith that objects to a greeting of “happy Holidays,” because it reminds them that there are others who walk freely among us who do not share those same religious beliefs.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were made of sterner stuff.
34So should gay couples who marry and include a penis cake afterwards seek counsel from the mohel on how to cut the cake??
35The mohel advises: Carefully.
36When I was in college in Annapolis, a bakery on Main Street made nude gingerpeople of both sexes, each with a happy smile. They were covered in the bakery case and weren’t sold to minors. The local “Moral Majority” made a huge stink about it and got them so much publicity that sales soared. Finally the national “Moral Majority” told the locals to shut up about it.
And some folks made cookies in the shape of both sets of genitalia for a bawdy concert. The concert was held in a church meeting hall (yes, the pastor knew what it was, but this was in the Peoples Republic of Takoma Park MD so what the hey). I was told that this Saturday night concert series usually left the unsold cookies for the church folks the next day. I’m not sure they left them that week.
In both cases, the cookies were fun. They made people smile. That jackwagon with the waaay too active imagination looks like he hasn’t smiled since about 1956.
Reminds me of a gay man who said that he wished being gay was as juicy as some people seem to think.
37Time again for my adage–You CANNOT make this stuff up!! Why these folks spend so much time thinking about gay sex is what baffles me. Let them eat (penis) cake!!
38“A thing is a phallic symbol if it’s longer than it’s wide.” – Melanie
39Judson Phillips, we are on to you and your entire entourage thanks to a quote picked up from a PeaTardy pol in Florida: this religious liberty scam is just a marketing tool for your caucus to brandish just like the “voter fraud” crappola in Florida and other states. Marketing tool, fool! We’ll remember that whenever you screech about your own “family values” and “integrity” and whatever else you can fish out of your vat of eye of newt and toe of frog!
40My little bride read this and just howled. She offers that the bakers should just tell their potential penis cake customer that they dont have a cake pan for that.
41Oh, for the love of God, seriously. At least he isn’t in Texas. Someone give me a good reason why anyone(gay, straight, bi, multisexual, hermaphrodite) would have a man’s happy place on a cake and be nude at a wedding without getting seriously drunk first.
42