Somebody wound Louie up last week and he took to the House floor to insult gay people, because that’s what Louie does for a living.  He wants you to know Matt Damon isn’t gay.

Earlier today, Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, put a new spin on his “gay island” story, arguing on the House floor that the push for LGBT rights is wrong because we would never choose to send gay couples or gay animals into space to start a new colony like in the Matt Damon movie “The Martian.”

Gohmert also cited the work of Jonathan Cahn, a far-right End Times preacher who believes God is punishing America (and France) due to gay marriage with events such as the 9/11 attacks, to assert that the end is near.

You know that thing Sarah Palin has where she can’t make a sentence so she just roams around a verbal smorgasbord sampling words here and there?  Louie has come down with a very bad case of that.

Here’s some Friday Fun for you!

There’s male, female, and question mark.

Note that we need to love the gays while calling them “perverse.”

And he warns us that even if we are not Louie Christians, we need to be scared of God.

I want to tell you a funny story.  Our friend Glen Maxey was the first openly LGBT person to be elected to the Texas state legislature.  Last year, they gave his butt a big roast to raise money for an LGBT candidate in Austin.  Everybody who was anybody was there.  No recording equipment was allowed because … well, of this:

There were three speakers.  Two of them were very well known and influential elected official women, (who shall remain nameless because I’d like to see them elected again). And because they couldn’t find a third influential person to do it, they asked me.  It got a little raunchy.  Okay, it got a whole lot raunchy.

There’s a thing that a gay party isn’t a party until there’s a boy in his underwear.  So, they have a real hunka hunka burnin’ love young honey in his tighty whiteys.  It was winter and it was cold in Austin. I’m a mother.  I got worried about the Hunka Hunka getting cold.   I quietly mention this to Glen, suggesting that maybe we get him a jacket or a blanket or something.  Glen looked at me as if I had suggested we burn books for fun.

So, I turned to one of the other women and told her that I know I’m a Momma because I am worried about that boy getting cold.  She also gave me the look and said, “Susan, dammit, that guy is so hot that he’s the only thing in here keeping me warm.”  Two drinks later, I was flirting with him.

Thanks to everybody for the Louie heads up.