Why Are They Telling Us This Now?
I dunno, but it makes me nervous that Business Insider wants me to know ….
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) offers a few dos and don’ts that citizens should remember in case a nuclear explosion were to take place. One practice to avoid at all costs is using conditioner in your hair, since conditioner can act like a glue between your hair and radioactive material.
Well see, I need that information. Once nuclear material fries my hair, my first thought would be, “Get me some conditioner!” Hair dressers are like that. So, now that I know, I truly do hope there’s not a reason the CDC thinks we need this information right now.
Thanks to S Gray for the heads up.
Protecting ourselves from a nuclear attack is getting so complicated. Do we not condition our hair BEFORE we duck and cover? Or after?
1Don’t worry Ms. JJ – after the Houston ship channel and those refineries are nuked – none of us will need conditioner!
2Actually, in event of surviving a nuclear explosion–having hair still in your head is not high on the priorities list. Loss of hair is common symptom of radiation poisoning.
Besides, you should really focus on the tin-foil hat chic look in that event.
3More proof of the genetic superiority of bald guys!
4What about Fukishima fishsticks? Are they OK?
5Hah! I bought a big bottle of potassium iodide just last year. So in case of nuclear war, I can hawk it to my neighbors with kids for big bucks. “So you don’t want yer little Susy to have giant hairy warts growing all over her? Ya think that two arms and two legs is just the right number? Well, have I got a deal for you!”
Unfortunately, like most of the habitues of this joint, I’d end up giving it to themfor free. Which is why we’ll always be at a disadvantage with the Trumps of the world. I’d say at least we’d have a guilt-free conscience, but all the Trumpoids have no conscience – or their parents would have drowned them at birth.
6“Just sing out a Te Deum – when you see that ICBM
7And the party will be – come as you are”
-Tom Lehrer
As I get older, I become more and more skeptical. Now, I wholeheartedly believe the claims about Climate Change, but my first thought was that CDC report is fake, and wondered if this was from the Onion. Like many of my smarter commenters here, I appreciate the comments about this.
8Conditioner would be the least of my worries after being close enough to a nuke going off.
9But do I need to exfoliate after the Zombie Apocalypse?
10