January 27, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Sometimes reality and theater collide.
This week in New Hampshire, Chris Christi sarcastically answered a student’s question, asking if he should get a mop and clean up the New Jersey coastline.
Which reminded me of my favorite political movie ….
What Christie really needs, however, is a whatnot.
Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
Some things never change!
1Why, yes. Yes you should get a mop. And allow me to instruct you where it can be put. Would you mind picking up that bucket for me? Thanks…
2Plenty of folks down the shore in south Jersey would like to help you place that mop, JAK.
3When people were mocking Christie for leaving NH to go back to NJ for the storm, I was thinking that’s real smart. He’ll appear on every newscast for a couple of days and it will get him farther in New Hampshire than actually being there will.
But then, he prances around for a day, does his Gov Bastard of the State of Disaster thing, then… leaves. Then says stupid stuff about leaving, like this mop deal. And now any political coin he could have reaped out of this becomes a political liability.
Honestly, who the hell is giving these people their political advice? I mean, yay, every republican is looking like an idiot. But as a former professional political operative, I CRINGE when I see the way they are running these campaigns.
Trump – PERFECTLY judged the mood of 1/3 of the GOP primary electorate. Puzzled by the other 8/9 of America.
Jeb?!? – what is the opposite of front-runner? Whatever it is, Heb!, it’s you! whose whole strategy! revolved around a punctuation ! mark.
Rubio – Dude… why so SERIOUS! You need to overcome the vision of a little kid dressed up in his daddy’s suit. When your resume is as thin as your hair, you need to weave in a little style.
Rand Paul – when the stoner college kid vote is split between Bernie Sanders and Doritos Jacked! then Sonny Bongwater should pick another year to run. The Ayn Rand crowd doesn’t understand the difference between libertarianism and lawlessness, so…
Ben Carson – Armstrong Williams has just run the last professional off your team. You know: the guy who told the NYT and the world that you didn’t know your Azerbaijan from your Elbonia?
Mike Huckabee – deader than Abe Vigoda in Luca Brasi’s vest. Should have been sweeping the teavangelical vote. Can’t even get hired to sweep the nave.
Rick Santorum – finished second in the 2012 primary. Still second… in the 2012 primary. Millions of voters supported you, and you let them get away?
Carly Fiorina – the Munchkins at HP are STILL dancing on the tables. And your solution to this has been to make Hillary Clinton seem cuddly by comparison. And your recipe for victory involves black widow venom, tongue of snake and parts of fetus.
Ted Cruz – honestly you could have David Axelrod, Karl Rove, James Carville and the ghost of Mark Hanna as your strategists and you’d still be crushed. Even THEY couldn’t gild this turd.
John Kasich – pretending you’re everybody’s NICE FOX uncle is a failure when NICE will lose the primary and FOX will lose the general. It’s a good way to spend January in NH using other people’s money, but the fact that Ohio is glad you’re there doesn’t bode well for your future.
4Thank you, daChipster. I’ll be crying tears of laughter fir a good while!
5From the header, “Where’s the Midget Governor?” Please, everyone do NOT reprise that particular image of Gov Cartman aka the Outlaw Jersey Whale in sports paraphernalia. Respect Mama!
“What Christie really needs, however, is a whatnot.” Not sure what a ‘whatnot’ might be. But if it is a prison jumpsuit, that works for me.
6Great summary of the GOP quagmire, daChipster, especially their inability to “gild this turd..” (Cruz). Like Tony’s, my laughter keeps on coming. Don’t know when Jon Stewart starts his HBO shows, but it can’t be soon enough. Until then, we are lucky to have your wit to sustain us.
7daChipster, for all the great entertainment and insight you have imparted upon us, Jane and I wish to thank you with a Stephen Colbert performance that probably went so far over the heads of snacilbupeR voters to have exceeded Colbert’s performance lampooning an equally oblivious Dubya.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/01/stephen-colberts-ruthlessly-nice-town-hall
Thank you, daChipster for sharing your wit, wisdom and experience.
8daChipster, sometimes you’re good, sometimes you’re very good, but often you are just perfect! Today you are perfect and I thank you for that.
9da Chipster nails it again! Still chuckling. Wondering when the Cruz campaign will start looking for a turd gilder? Clearly a turd polisher would not be sufficient at this point…
10daChipster: One of my secret, old expressions to summarize your wonderful comment today:
It’s sweet. It’s smart. It says it.
Thanks.
11Actually, I think he’s probably NOT missed by his constituents in NJ.
I’ve never seen such a relentless bully, and an overall more corrupt politician since R. Nixon. Whatever goodwill he built up with his previous position as a legal leader, it looks as if he’s squandered it completely.
I almost feel sorry for someone as clueless as this guy. Almost.
12@daChipster
Once again we are so unworthy.
{genuflects and leaves, walking backwards}
13Well, if using a mop is the most complex thing in your skill set then should you really be governor (much less President)?
14daChipster, I am going to copy your great comment and pretend I wrote it. (no, i won’t).
15“No Governor, I would expect you to send Kelly to fetch the mop while you hide behind the cones!”
16“I’ve never seen such a relentless bully, and an overall more corrupt politician since R. Nixon.”
WA Skeptic, I have. Bill Janklow was SD governor for a total of 16 years in the 80s and 90s. He was probably Christie’s role model. He topped off his career by deliberately running a stop sign and killed a motorcyclist. A measure of the level of his corruption is that he was found guilty of reckless homicide and was sentenced to 100 days – that’s one hundred of your basic 24 hour DAYS for Killing a law-abiding MN man with a family, friends and loved ones.
Now that’s a corrupt bully! (I hated that f**king b**tard. He’s dead now. Thank the gods.)
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