Well, I Guess I Better Pay the Ransom
Best I know, we have not deserted you.
I think maybe everybody is kinda stunned over the Red Wave that turned out being Little Princess Barbie pink. It was kinda like when you wash your Klan robe with you MAGA hat.
Texas: We are the most backwards state in the country.
Florida: Hold my possum jerky and watch this…
And after getting beat so badly that alligators wouldn’t even eat him, Trump announced that he’s running for president of the Semi-United States of America. He challenged democracy and turned up face down.
I have been distracted by the Republicans in my county who howled that the county stayed as blue as we flipped it four years ago, plus we added two new Democratic wins – one county commissioner (we now control commissioners court 4 to 1), and one new state representative. Republicans were convinced that we cheated at the ballot box of damn course.
They showed up loudly! and in force on the day the vote was canvassed, provisional ballots were rejected or certified, and several races were recounted. They came with lawyers, bean counters, loudmouths, people who were just mad and didn’t exactly know why, and a couple of guys who were born before chocolate chip cookies were invented. We countered with sending one lawyer – never send two lawyers because they’ll spend all day arguing with each other -, three retired grade school teachers, and some righteous precinct chairs who had read the Texas Election Code. They were headed by a tiny gray headed African American woman who was one of the first people to integrate the University of Texas and then worked her way to be an executive with AT&T. God made her short so she could chew butt and then spit it out over a bonfire she had simultaneously started by stomping her foot to keep the devil from coming up and making a ruckus.
Twelve hours later, Democrats emerged with the vote total rising in every single damn race. We didn’t just beat them, Honey. We beat them good.
They went home with their tail between their legs.
It was so much fun.
I’d been missing the news from the beauty salon, but your time away was well spent. glad to hear the Blue is still marching through Fort Bend County. Given that rural Texas will likely stay red for a long time, the best hope is for the blue cities to spread, suburban one county at a time.
1Sounds like so much fun! I’m sorry to say it wasn’t that great in NC.
2NO point in axing, but, do you spose they’ll ever realize how wrong they are?
Good to hear and great results in a sea of red. I’m surprised the state of Texas hasn’t made an effort to remove the blue from the your flag.
3Elsewhere, repugnanticans are eating each other and I’m sure none of it tastes good (all tastes like poop or puke).
“God made her short so she could chew butt and then spit it out over a bonfire she had simultaneously started by stomping her foot to keep the devil from coming up and making a ruckus.”
That is the most Texas sentence I have ever read. This is why I come here.
4One of the big surprises is that there were very few election deniers showing up and being silly. Turns out that the past two years were put to good use by all those election professionals so that there was absolutely nothing for anybody to complain about. Imagine that: people who actually know how to run free and fair elections–and know all the relevant statutes–showed up despite all the previous harassment. Amazing.
5Whew! What a relief! So good to have you up and running! Congrats on all the hard work in Fort Bend County. I’m happy with the way the Senate turned out and will be happier again when Warnock finally wins. Just one thing. When I hit the hay the other night there were still House races to be counted. I’m to tired right now to do a deep search. What happened with those outstanding counts?
6Glad your election efforts provided local Republicans with a more accurate, and even more humiliating vote count.
I’ve been watching one of the last and loudest election deniers, That Pillow Guy, saying he’s got lawyers, he’s finding things. Funny. Being surrounded by a near infinite number of pillows, you’d think he wouldn’t talk like he had a serious brain concussion. I look forward to the day when he doesn’t go to prison, but the people in white uniforms take him to a comfortable My Pillow Padded Cell.
7Oh no, sending three retired grade school teachers was unfair. Especially if they had those wooden rulers, the kind that leave an imprint on the hand of those who challenge grade school teachers.
On the national level, it seems the rats are deserting the sinking Trump-tanic. Murdoch has told him “nope”, the Washington Examiner has said “Trump 3.0 is a changed man — he’s now a loser”, and even the daughter he’d most like to date has said no to helping him run. Everyone except for Lindsay Graham is now bleating that they knew he was no good all along. Trump is now like a balloon deflating, flapping around making gawd-awful noises and succeeding only in irritating everyone around.
BTW: the Onion has a good article, and for once the title doesn’t say it all: “Tiffany Trump Charged Full Venue Price For Mar-A-Lago Wedding”: https://www.theonion.com/tiffany-trump-charged-full-venue-price-for-mar-a-lago-w-1849786318
8Rick @ 7,
I was thinking of another use for Pillow Guy’s pillows. I’m so bad…
9I thought The Onion was supposed to be parody.
10Congratulations on the good work. Some very nice successes in Harris County, too.
11We managed to reelect our Democratic governor, Tony Evers, but Ron Johnson also was given another term. Without Evers, we’d be no better than Oklahoma.
12Thanks JJ, great to have you and everyone back! Never give up hope!
‘Trump’s BIG Announcement at Mar-a-Lago, GOP Keeps Their Distance & Pence Sheds Light on Insurrection’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TA2m7t0aHk
‘The View’s Sunny Hostin says Trump indictment is coming in 30-90 days — cites DOJ sources’
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-indictment-predictions/
13Congratulations.
I, however, am still stuck with Elise Stefanik.
14But we did not get Lee Zeldin, thank God
What? There was an election?
Why didn’t I hear anything about it?
15Sam @12,
It is depressing that the Democrats were able to win governor and attorney general races, yet be outnumbered in the State Senate 22-10 and in the State Assembly by 63-36 and the U.S. House has a 6-2 advantage for Republicans. Not exactly representative by any means when the Republicans aren’t even getting a majority of the votes.
Although Ron Johnson rarely says anything that resembles the truth, he did hit the nail on the head with this quote:
“That’s a little depressing isn’t it, that lies can be that effective. If you ever wonder, quite honestly, why more good people don’t run for office, I would just recommend people take a look at the Wisconsin U.S. Senate race in 2022,” said Johnson.
Lies can be effective, but so can gerrymandering.
16Hays County (San Marcos, Kyle, Buda) went blue! Wish the rest of Texas were as smart as we are!
17Fortunately Lizzie Fletcher swept the floor with her GOP opponent for TX-07 but sadly TX-38, which I was redistricting to, is sending Wesley Hunt to DC. Looking at the vote results at Harrisvotes I can see why the GOP hates Houston – we would have sent them all packing!
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