Three Days and Counting

July 12, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, I know that Barack Obama’s Jade Helm takeover of Texas to celebrate Sharia law and underground pathways between abandoned WalMarts, has just damn snuck up on you.

It’s in three days.  Wednesday is the start of Jade Helm.

You might not be ready but Texas’ unregulated militia is ready for war.

Eric Johnston, a 51-year-old retired firefighter and sheriff’s deputy who lives in Kerrville, is a surveillance team leader in Texas. He’ll coordinate three groups of volunteers, about 20 folks in total, who hope to monitor the SEALs, Green Berets and Air Force Special Ops in Bastrop, Big Spring and Junction when Jade Helm kicks off on July 15.

Now you might ask about their plans.

But locations more precise than the towns around which troops will drill remain unknown. For the citizens’ surveillance operation, therein lies the first challenge.

“If a team member sees two Humvees full of soldiers driving through town, they’re going to follow them,” Johnston said. “And they’re going to radio back their ultimate location.

Oh hell, I bet the army didn’t think of that!  Radios!  Walkie-Talkies!  Compasses!  The United States of America’s army does not stand a chance against these guys.

The only difference between them and the Boy Scouts is that the Boy Scouts have adult leadership.  And that is where the problems start and end.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Three Days and Counting”


  1. Marge Wood says:

    Now, my nice lady nurse the other day told me she’s from Bastrop, so of course I had to ask her her views on Jade 15. Apparently she’s not worried about it. Of course she’s retired Navy so that might make a difference.
    Read John Kelso in the STATESMAN about Bastrop and Jade 15. You reckon the rest of the country just yawns now when Texas gets in the news?
    Oh, yeah, DOONESBURY and Perry’s glasses. I’m telling you.

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  2. A nice lady nurse is what these yahoos ought to have, in a nice padded room somewhere.

    As for Texas in the news, Louie was in the Washington Post’s weekly word contest a few weeks ago — I forgot to send it to JJ, but he was once again a synonym for fool, the entry sent in by someone from California, I think. So he’s known nationwide as the biggest ass in Congress.

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  3. Best quote:
    “Once I saw the freaking nut-jobs coming out of the woodwork I was spending half my day discrediting what they were posting,” he said. “No nut-jobs will be put in the field.”

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  4. I’m spending my time on Amazon Prime!

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  5. RepubAnon says:

    @JanK: Yes, I wasn’t worried until I realized just how far removed from reality those folks must be for Mr. Johnson to consider them “nut-jobs.”

    Plus, if the combined US Armed Forces can be defeated by a few guys in pick-up trucks, we’re in deep trouble.

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  6. 1smartcanerican™ says:

    JJ, I was wondering when Jade Helm was beginning, but now that Diane is spending her time on Amazon Prime that day, I am with her for sure! Far more fun, if a wee bit more expensive, but just think about all the fantastic toys I can purchase! I will check in here to see if anything needs my attention regarding JH, but I’m thinking I’ll be just fine shopping 🙂

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  7. gabberflasted says:

    I trust those picups are not white Toyotas.

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  8. BlueMeadow says:

    and don’t forget Blue Bell Ice Cream is part of this operation – all those refrigerated trucks will be mobile morgues!
    http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-post/almost-half-texas-believes-military-invasion-likely-coming-and-finally-conspiracy-crowd

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  9. Wa Skeptic says:

    Do you think all these old retired farts will fall over from high cholesterol-induced MI’s with all this excitement? Fortunately, there will be EMTs around with the military forces and they can help.

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  10. AKLynne says:

    And they’ll be so proud when they save Texas from the military takeover.

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  11. BarbinDC says:

    This whole thing is just sooooo hilarious! Except for the part that the idiots are (allegedly) US citizens worried about being taken over by the US military, that is.

    I’m just waiting for the day when the Army and the Air Force decide it’s just not worth the hassle to stay in Texas and just close all those bases down. (I can say this now that my mother’s house in El Paso has long been sold, so I don’t have to worry about plummeting real estate values. The rest of you are on your own.)

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  12. Kinky Friedman was right when he referred to residents of Kerrville as “Kerrverts.”

    I just hope these yahoos don’t inadvertently start something while they’re doing all their “monitoring.” The guy with the plane who’s going to fly “surveillance” scares the crap out of me.

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  13. I do hope the nut-jobs are kept well out of the field and that the servicemembers have been carefully briefed on their potential for tripping over nut-jobs in the field. And I hope Jade is not a life fire exercise.

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  14. @Wa Skeptic at #9, what do you mean, “fortunately”?

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  15. Sandridge says:

    I used to travel the highways of Texas often (some years 80K+ miles).
    Over many, many decades I’ve seen lots of military convoys moving from place to place, usually reserve units going to various exercises held in parts of South Texas.
    Once I was northbound and saw from around Robstown stretching clear to San Antonio, over hours as I drove along, a southbound convoy of Army vehicles of every kind.

    Out in the Gulf, the same thing, Navy and Coast Guard naval and air units are training constantly offshore (and even onto the beaches sometimes). Even in the bays, where I’ve seen military divers practicing on the sunken SS Worthington off the Lydia Ann Channel and elsewhere.
    When NS Ingleside was active there were always Navy ships busy in the area, mostly minesweepers (NS Ingleside, active for about 15 years until 2009, which cost many hundreds of millions of dollars to build, etc., was finally sold to some oil companies for a mere $97.5 million total).

    Everywhere in the air above Texass, there are many charted MOA’s (Military Operations Areas) that restrict civilian air traffic.
    The Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines and Coasties fly training flights of all types constantly 24/7/365; from light prop, helo, jet operations of every type, right over our unsuspecting heads! OMFG!

    In all these long years, not once do I remember more than a few NUTJOBS commenting upon these most obvious operations; I don’t think any of them actually organized any kind of counter-ops in response ever.

    Not until a certain commieKenyansoshillustfurrinmooselimfascistayetheistNEGRO invaded OUR WHITEhouse did any of these brain-damaged a__holes stir themselves into such vigorous, patriotic action as today…hmmmmm.

    Half of all Texans are ‘believing’ this crap? (I think we know of which political party)
    I’m ashamed to live amongst such widespread, incurable idiocy.

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  16. Ralph Wiggam says:

    While the people of Bastrop County are complaining that the troops are coming, the people of Bell County are complaining that the troops are leaving. Ft. Hood is reducing its force by 3500 troops and that is a major impact on the local economy.

    If I could spell schizophrenia, this is where I would write it.

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  17. John Peter Henson says:

    Now I am wishing for a large drone to watch the watchers…..that would really get them going. Then the local law enforcement can arrest them,Waco style, for shooting it down.

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  18. Old Fart says:

    *SIGH*

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  19. dbtexas says:

    Can anyone point to a single Alex Jones conspiracy that has proven true? Just one?

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  20. lunargent says:

    I can’t wait till Hillary gets elected, and they have to change their paranoia to fear of the Lezzbeeyunnz who’ve Infiltrated the Military. I’ll bet they don’t miss a beat.
    Y’know, I think the real reason so many Repub governors don’t want Obamacare is because mental health care is covered. People start using that, next thing you know, you’ve lost your base.

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  21. Not to worry, people. The would-be militia has advertised their plan, which specifies what they will do if they see two Humvees full of troops driving through town. All the Army has to do is send Humvees out either one at a time or three at a time. The militidiots won’t be able to cope! And they won’t waste any money on batteries for their WW II radios. I hope someone is planning to film this for a movie. It would win the Oscar for best comedy!

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  22. I never really, truly knew about idiots until I moved to Texas…. now I know far too much about them.

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  23. Fred Farklestone says:

    I would love to see the CO’s of all the Texas military bases order all military personal to live on base during Jade Helm!
    They could also ban all military personal from visiting everything off base, except churches and hospitals.

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  24. Fred Farklestone says:

    dbtexas,
    Here’s a short Alex Jones video where he try’s to talk and think at the same time, while trying to sell another one of his conspiracies!

    http://truth-out.org/buzzflash/videos/video/how-a-paranoid-right-wing-nutjob-s-brain-works-in-1-minute

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  25. Fred Farklestone says:

    Texas is burning hot over Jade Helm!

    http://rackjite.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/611zsj.jpg

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  26. Wa Skeptic says:

    @Rhea says @#14:

    “Fortunately” because then they will learn about human compassion and Xtian charity, which they obviously know nothing about.

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  27. “Eric Johnston, a 51-year-old retired firefighter and sheriff’s deputy … is a surveillance team leader in Texas. He’ll coordinate three groups of volunteers, about 20 folks in total, who hope to monitor the SEALs, Green Berets and Air Force Special Ops in Bastrop”

    Where was Eric while we waited for Obama and Seal Team 6 to take out bin Laden? With his boots on the ground we could have got that varmint in Pakistan years earlier. Then after a job well done, he could have crossed back over the border to Afghanistan and gone after a few Taliban leaders for good measure.

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  28. lunargent says:

    Fred F –
    Boy, them’s some Specificals, huh?

    Enough to make me weep for my country, and seriously question Darwin’s basic premise.

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  29. Any base commander worth his salt in Texas should be sending out Humvees full of troops just for the hell of it. Or maybe to pick up some Whataburgers for him.

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  30. Elizabeth Moon says:

    How come Eric Johnston is retired at only 51? When did he retire? Who’s supporting him?

    I’m so worried about Jade Helm I’m going to take a nap.

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  31. dbtexas says:

    Well, Fred, I don’t whether to thank you or scream after that video. The overriding question though, is how can anyone with an IQ above ten believe anything this cretin says? (my apologies to cretins). Absolutely amazing that Jones has made a living over such nonsense. PT Barnum was absolutely right.

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  32. e platypus onion says:

    Can a whole town be arrested for interference with official acts? How about the whole state,then there will be the martial law they was afeerd of. What a buncha maroons. Playing smack dab into Obama’s master plan to take over the state.

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