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Juanita does not watch Fox News.  Thelma, who is a provisional member of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club watches it constantly.

“Bless her heart,” Juanita comments, “Thelma thinks Fox is real news.  She also think People Magazine is just like Newsweek except for more pictures of Brad Pitt.”

Thelma came to work today all filled with piazazz from something she saw last night on Sean Hannity’s show.

“Juanita,” Thelma began while defying several laws of physics with all 280 pounds of herself  perched atop stiletto pumps  while stuffed into giraffe print stretch pants and a red silk blouse with a bow bigger than her butt.  Thelma believes in balance.  “Juanita,” she says again because she got distracted by the smell of kolaches the first time, “even you, the liberal, will like this.”

“Sean Hannity, the dreamboat,” she continues with stars in her eyes, “had Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann on his show last night and  …”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Thelma, pull in on them reins, Hon,” Juanita warned.  “Unless you’re gonna tell me there was lesbian bondage involved, I’m highly apt not to like this at all.  Don’t say ‘Hannity, Palin, and Bachmann’ and then ‘Juanita will like’ in the same sentence unless there’s an opportunity for extortion.”

“No, now listen up,” Thelma continues, “Sean suggested that 2012 should have a Palin/Bachmann ticket for President …. and wouldn’t that ”

Gagging noises drowned out anything else Thelma had to say.

“But I thought you’d support women, you being a liberal and all,” Thelma stomped, registering 3.6 on the Richter Scale.

“Thelma,” Verdelia jumped in because a fight like this between Thelma and Juanita is gonna end up with a hot curler duel, “you know as well as I do that those two women are about a quart low on estrogen which hardly don’t even qualify them as hooter toters.  Sean just said that because he wanted to see them kiss or something.”

Truth be know, Juanita wasn’t upset about this news.  In fact the more she thinks about it, the more she likes it.

I do, too.