I suspect you’ve heard that Mike Pence’s wife/mother teaches at a school that does not allow LGBTQ students or staff.

She teaches art there.  Okay, so can you imagine how bad this art department has to be with no LGBTQ teachers?  Holy cow. Plus, I seriously doubt that they have much to teach once they cover Thomas Kinkaid.

Are they allowed to even look at any other art?

Okay, since banning LGBTQ students and staff leaves the school pretty artless, but yet Christians are all about banning stuff, let’s think of some other things they could ban instead.

Fox News

Shaved heads – hey, we fought a war over this and you lost.

Tiki Torches – when they’re not tacky, they are scary.  That’s the only two positions on their switches.

Those cut outs of Santa kneeling over Baby Jesus – do not mix metaphors.

Turnips – no reason other than I just hate them.

Mike Pence’s wife – her husband calls her mother. That’s kinda sick, y’all.

Food Truck Sushi

— Come on, I know you’ve got some.