There’s An App For That
It was only a matter of time. We have apps for everything now. It was only a matter of time before some enterprising software designer would develop an app for racists and bigots. I had thought it would be an extension onto Google Maps known as the “whitest route” but sadly I was mistaken. As it turns out, The newest app for the bigoted American is called “Woke Alerts“.
Obviously, this story is hilarious on a lot of levels, but increasingly serious on a couple as well. When you read multiple descriptions of this particular service it becomes increasingly obvious what anti-woke really means. The terms racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic have never been palatable in polite society. So, let’s co-opt the term woke to mean something it really doesn’t mean so we can somehow slide in racism, chauvinism, and bigotry of all stripes under the dark of night and couch it as anti-woke and not what it really is.
The second truth is that Consumers’ Research’s business model becomes very apparent when you go to their actual website. It cost no money to get these alerts but obviously no one is doing this out of the kindness of their own heart. They are monetizing this in some way. In this case, they can sell all of these phone numbers and email addresses to conservative candidates, PACs, and fund raising groups because they know they have found their target audience.
As someone on Facebook pointed out, this service would be great if you could specifically put in a brand name and get a wokeness rating. Obviously, it doesn’t work that way. In this case, they send you a message every time a company has “gone woke.” I’m sure, it is only a matter of time before an adjoining message is attached, “and hey, would you like to give five bucks to Gene “Knuckledragger” Smith?” So, we ruin your favorite brand for you and get you good and pissed and then we turn the screws to you. “Budweiser and Coors have gone woke leaving you a choice between the evil imports, frilly microbrews, and Keystone Light. We remind you that Lauren Boebert is fighting against all of the evil urinators in the nation’s capital. Please send her five bucks or that woke homeless guy could pee on you.”
@Nick, how did you find out about this? I don’t read the Washington Times, so it never would have been on my radar!
Side note: The Washington Times used to have a Star Trek column that was worth buying the whole fish wrapper, but I haven’t read that particular paper since the late 1990’s.
1Was “Pavlov’s Dog” already taken as an app name?
2Malarkey,
Someone in one of my Facebook groups found it. I ended up shooting it through the Google and ran with it when I saw enough different sources reporting it. Washington Times obviously isn’t the best source but I thought I’d include a source that would give it a full throated endorsement. You always want to see how the enemy sells its wares.
3Nick, “woke” is a beautiful thing. In fact, one step further most of us liberals and progressives would call it a bad day when we don’t learn something new each and every day. As in wake and see the sun rise and know you’re alive.
Lordy. Really. What is it with the post Tea Bagger and tRump era ‘conservatives’ in which learning and being aware are bad things? Reality is that these conservative dupes who complain about an alleged “Nanny State” are the ones most in need of government protections: from themselves. As we all know these Ponzi schemes and other frauds would not exist if DOJ and the rest of the alphabet soup was empowered by Congress to protect “we the people” even the idiots among us.
Truism: Vote Republican and vote against yourself.
4According to a Wall Street Journal poll, likely Republican voters are more concerned with “woke ideology” (55%) than they are about cuts to Medicare and Social Security (27%). Maybe they think cuts won’t actually occur, but would they turn on the Republican party if they actually were able make those cuts? Probably not as long as they perceive that black and brown people will be hurt more by the cuts than they would be.
5Opposite of woke is oblivious. With a bit of delusion. Glad to be woke.
6Easy definitions:
7Woke = Black, gay, trans, Asian or the hate object du jour (usually Black)
Soros = Jews (always)
It’d be interesting to see what permissions the app “requires” to be installed. Like access to all location data, files, contacts, and photos. I saw a “flashlight app” once that wanted all those permissions. Just to turn on the cameral light.
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