The Ultimate Joint Primary

March 16, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Well, we thought that the mess at the Fort Bend Democratic Party Chair’s office was over with the election of Steve Brown and the defeat of Ms. Lazybones.

Not so fast.

Steve Brown does not take office until May 1st.

Crap.

For you folks from foreign states – in Texas, we do not register by party.  You are considered a member of whatever party you vote for in the primary.  You vote in either the Democratic or Republican primary and that’s the party you’re a member of for the next two years.

This has never been a problem.  Until now.  If Ms. Lazybones and her clique can screw something up, they will.  Rules are for lesser people than they.  Juanita, who is damn proud to be regular folk, ain’t all that dandy with people who think they’re hoity toity  and above the the law.  She got enough of that from Tom DeLay to last a lifetime … or two.

“Yesterday afternoon I found out that Ms. Lazybones’s long time official party secretary voted in the Republican primary two weeks ago.  Now, I know we have those awful joint primaries but that doesn’t mean that the Democratic Party officials can vote in the GOP primary.  It’s not that kind of joint,” Juanita laughs at the gall of it all.  “This is unfreekinbelieveable.  When I tell people, they say, “noooooooo.”

“Thelma, the damn Democratic party secretary voted in the Republican primary,” Juanita hollers across the room.

“Nooooooo,” Thelma hollers back, hoping she’ll finally get a raise.

“Not only did the lame duck party chairman hold a secret drawing for ballot order in the run-off with only 4 girlfriends invited to a private cozy luncheon to make these public decisions, they let the damn Republican participate,” Juanita said with questioning eyes toward heaven.  “Good Lord, nobody can be that dumb without stabbing themselves in face with a fork while eating tamales, and I did not hear an ambulance called to the restaurant.”

“It’s waaaay pass the point of where they can claim to be dumb.  We passed Bean Dip Dumb several years ago and Truly Did Fall Off The Turnip Truck happened last October.  We are swiftly approaching John Edwards Arrogance with a pit stop at Oh Dear God Take A Hormone Pill Woman Before I Smack You.”

“Good Lord, you know your political party structure is screwed up when your party officers are voting Republican,” Juanita sighs.  “Thank you God that they are leaving on May 1st.”

“Meanwhile, they are holding the precinct convention sign-in sheets hostage, won’t return phone calls, and have summarily ousted the senatorial district convention chairs and illegally replaced them their own little girlfriends.  We still haven’t had a treasurer’s report in 4 years, nobody seems to know who the precinct chairs are and they illegally added names of people who don’t exist on the ballots.”

“I know, I know, they are leaving.  However,” she says, “right now this minute would not be soon enough.”

Juanita hates it when a small group of women are damned and determined to make all women look petty, silly, mean, and filled to the brim with cornpone.

The damn Democratic Party Secretary voted in the Republican primary.

Noooooooo……

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