The QVC Presidency UPDATED
I know Trump shops for lawyers on teevee. Rumor has it that he really liked Joe diGenova and Victoria Tensing when he would see them on Fox News but when they got to the White House without stage makeup, special lighting, and canned questions, they didn’t look so hot.
But, I think Trump uses Fox News like some people use QVC. He gets his crap there.
So, here we go with The QVC Presidency –
John Bolton – Fox News commentator and new head of the National Security Council.
Larry Kudlow – Fox News commentator and new head of the Council of Economic Advisors.
Joseph DiGenova – Fox News legal analyst and (nearly) new legal counsel for the President’s Russia problems. (This “item” was returned after it was deemed not to meet the buyer’s expectations.)
Peter Hegseth – Fox News blatherer and (nearly) new head of the VA. (“Item” rejected after it was determined that this hire would be redundant; the President already has marital infidelity and nepotism covered.)
Who could be the next recruit from Fox News and for what position? Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Watters, Bill O’Reilly (I hear he’s looking for work).
Thanks to Sarah for this idea and most of this writing.
One of our customers, Joe’s Still Confused, reminded me of this one.
President Donald Trump’s TV star-run administration has hired former Disney Channel actress Caroline Sunshine as a White House press assistant.
Sunshine, 22, is best known for a role with Zendaya in the Disney series “Shake It Up,” which followed the lives of teenage backup dancers during its run from 2010 to 2013.
So, I guess he watches the Disney Channel, too.
So most of Faux Noose has infested the WH. Yet congress and the senate say nothing and do nothing. Hmm, what could go wrong?
1Don’t forget Judge Napalatona (s) He is a “constitutional expert” and almost always wrong.
2You know the lawyer is in trouble when he hires other lawyers to defend him and then they do the same and on and on it goes! It also means the guy who hired Lawyer #1 is in increasingly deep doo-doo!
3Wait till he finds out the new ROSEANN is pro-Trump. Let’s hope she’s too busy to be our ambassador to South Korea.
Maggie: MAGA now stands for Making Attorneys Get Attorneys.
4This isn’t really happening, right? This is some bad TV show that I had no intention of watching that has somehow infested half of what I see? I mean, the “Caroline Sunshine” thing is the last straw in the kidding-me basket.
5Caroline Sunshine? Is that her stage name or what?
6And Caroline Sunshine’s qualifications for the position of White House press assistant are…?
7MICR: That would be young, blonde, lean and willing to steam Rump’s trousers as needed.
8OK, she can dance. Does she have any other skills?
9I’m afraid that my opinion of the Caroline Sunshine hire closely resembles Dorothy Parker’s assessment of “The House at Pooh Corner: “Tonstant Weader frowed up.”
after some intensive research, I have determined that Lil Miss Sunshine has two very specific qualifications…..a left one and a right one.
10Oh dear god, this country used to be run by adults, or at least people who could pretend to be adults four days out of five.
11I never thought, even EVEN with President Shithole there, that I’d read of WH personnel named Caroline Sunshine. She sounds like a preschool aide. Oh wait! Now i get it! A preschool aide for the Toddler! Of course!
12Papa and joe’s still confused:
13You definitely are confused if you think Donnie Douchebag could possibly have any amorous intentions towards Miss Sunshine. I mean yeah, she’s young pretty and blonde, but to me, in some of her photos she kinda resembles Ivanka. So …….wait.