The HIGHLY unofficial Iowa Caucuses Drinking Game
You asked for it, you got it. I myself will be chasing shots of Jack with Michelob Lager, reserving the good stuff (Glenmorangie 10yr) for a declared victory for my candidate. And my preferred viewing venue will be MSNBC, of course.
Starting to the right of the host (or starting with yourself, if you are watching with a room full of Mormons) and with turns passing counter clockwise: drink one SIP of beer, CHUG the remainder of your beer, drink a SHOT or pass as directed.
- If they announce an updated total: SIP
- If they show a wild HQ party: SIP
- If they show a DEAD HQ party: CHUG
- If they interview a campaign spokesman: SIP
- If they interview a candidate: CHUG
- If they play their election theme music (daaa da da Da DAA DA da DAAAAAA) EVERYBODY SIP and the turn passes
- When Chris Matthews interrupts someone: SIP
- When Chris Matthews says something weird: CHUG
- When Chris Matthews says something sexist: Order some male to do a SHOT. If there are no males present, call one up and say “Grrrr Chris Matthews!” and just hang up, then everybody SIP.
- When they call a winner: SHOT
- If they say something nice about Trump: CHUG
- If they say something mean about Cruz: Pick someone to CHUG, and pass your turn
- If they say some dumb “both sides do it” thing: SHOT
- When Steve Schmidt can’t even play the false equivalence game and is just reduced to saying something snarky about Democrats, liberals or progressives: BOILERMAKER! (SHOT and CHUG) and it’s still your turn, unless you immediately shout “PALIN PASS!” before anyone else, in which case don’t drink and your turn passes.
- Always point with your elbow.
- Penalty for screwing up is a SIP.
Let us know your libation of choice, and add more fun rules below in the comments!
~Primo