The Deep State Goes Real Deep
Oh y’all, the deep state has all gone dandy deep. Majorie Taylor Greene thinks her teevee is spying on her.
Last night in my DC residence, the television turned on by itself and the screen showed someone’s laptop trying to connect to the TV.
Just for the record:
I’m very happy.
I’m also very healthy and eat well and exercise a lot. I don’t smoke and never have. I don’t take any…— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) June 25, 2023
I, too, have seen some weird things on my teevee. Zombies are real and so is Ron DeSantis.
In addition, I have appliances in my house that spy on me, too. For example, I have a pint of Blue Bell ice cream in my freezer that out of the clear blue will call me by name. It will beg me in the most pitiful voice to come let it live in my warm and wonderful digestive system. It won’t stop until I put some of it in a bowl.
My dryer hollers at me. If there is company in my house, it just buzzes loudly, but if I’m alone it clearly hollers, “Come get the clothes out of me, you dumb bitch, before they get all wrinkled up.” My toilet calls me annoyingly, “Come jiggle this handle right now, Susan.” How the toilet knows my name, I don’t know but I suspect there’s some kind of governmental DNA testing involved.
Like Ms Taylor Greene, I will now share my deepest secrets with you. I am happy but only if I’m getting my way. I am overweight because of, well, the Blue Bell thing for one. Like Willie, I no longer smoke but I do enjoy the edibles, my friend.
I am fully vaccinated, even against polio, so I worry about everything, most of them are rare tropical diseases the doctors have never heard of, or falling and not being able to get up but only because the teevee tells me I should. I am 76 years old and my heart rate, blood flow, and brain are all in working order today so who who the hell cares how long they are going to last? I figure that they’ve worked so far and that, my crazy friends, puts me way ahead of the game.
When you go to bed tonight, please take the time to thank God that you’re not whoever it is who has to spy on Majorie Taylor Greene.
Too good not to share right now.
I’m so glad to see that she’s happy. I’d hate to imagine how she’d act if she were mad or had a chip on her shoulder or anything like that!
Does screaming at inopportune times count as exercise?
1My freezer tells me to come get some ice cream too. It’s a conspiracy!
2A pint of ice cream? Why do you put it in a bowl? It’s only a pint.
3I was thinking the exact same thing, Henry!
4My dryer just now sang to me to come get the sheets out and get them back on the bed before they get all wrinkled up. It plays a strange little ditty that I suppose all dryers made in Korea play. The washer and dishwasher have their own songs. Anyway, thanks for this great chuckle with my morning coffee.
5Personally, I’m hoping that whoever is spying on her is really Aliens and they decide to take her back with them to their home base in some far, far, far off galaxy.
Though I am highly amused that the Freedom Caucus seems to be rejecting her for not being loony enough.
If there was a way to help get Greene, Boebert, and Gaetz off my TV–that would be awesome to never hear their asinine diatribes and hypocrisy again. And yes, I do realize that the next conspiracy theorist would step up if their voices were silenced.
6I wonder if MTG’s ex has any thoughts on her being so happee tweet. Besides her extramarital stuff, he probably witnessed her being crazee up close and personal.
https://torontosun.com/news/world/marjorie-taylor-greene-officially-divorced-after-cheating-allegations
7IDK, I swear my cookie jar talks in tempting tones _ “You know you want me. It’s OK, you can eat one or two. Come on, lift my top. You know you want to.”
I should never be left alone with a cookie jar…
8I love Blue Bell but it is not available here in mid-Missouri. Have to drive west almost to Kansas City to find stores stocked with that yummy stuff.
9Yes, Susan, just leave it in the pint container. You know you won’t stop until you get to the bottom. Personally, I never buy anything like that unless I have accepted the fact that I won’t stop until it’s gone. Hence I choose package/box sizes accordingly. I have learned to live with my weaknesses.
10It may sound odd but I wish my equipment and utilities wouild yell at me before they implode and cost me money I don’t have! As for MTG and Boebert, these (whatever) don’t even know the first thing about a genuine cat fight. Honestly, they are doing it all wrong!
11“… the screen showed someone’s laptop trying to connect to the TV”.
What? Did it show an image of someone’s actual laptop, with their Cheeto-encrusted fingers typing away? I’m not sure what she was saying here. Then again, the only TV I have is dumb, bought in 1985.
Maybe she has a wireless network and has left it with the default password. But how do you get a picture of someone’s laptop, unless there is some camera pointed at it feeding into Marge’s television?
12Blue Bell is essential because it cools the body during a heat wave with a finite power grid. Waving a hand fan can burn calories.
13Stay safe
Majorie must have gotten ‘confused’ again because it was probably peeper pervBoy Matt Gaetz who was just tuning in to satisfy thier voyeur lust. Also not sure why she’s complaining as she’s usually thrilled at being watched.
14Marjorie got up, grabbed a quart box of Walmart Vanilla ice cream, sat back down on the remote (turned on tv) & iPad (AirPlay)
15Probably Hunter Biden’s laptop. That thing turns up everywhere. It’s why I’ll never vote for him.
16Lol JJ, I believe you and MTG might have some common ground after all!
appliancephobia
1. delusional or irrational fear of appliances.
2. belief appliance’s are actually talking to oneself.
Untreated it can lead to a more serious disease of oikophobia.
17“In psychiatric usage, oikophobia may narrowly refer to fear of the physical space of the home interior, where it is especially linked to the fear of household appliances, baths, electrical equipment, and other aspects of the home perceived to be potentially dangerous.”
Not only that, but her neighbor, who has the same TV, has an identical problem!
18I can live with the vanilla bean ice cream calling me from the freezer – or even, if it goes on sale, from the grocery store a mile away! And the gochujang caramel cookies I made a few days ago are singing a siren song right now; apparently they sent a spy to read over my shoulder and get ideas. But I want to know how the telephone can peer around the corner and through the door to know when I am in the shower, and whether it is also sharing this information with the doorbell.
19If you read her whole screed, she attributes not taking vaccinations as part of the reason for her health. She’s idiotic but dangerous.
20Two points.
First off, quit being so mean to MTG! If she says her TV is spying on her, well, that’s not so crazy, not compared to people in my family. We only get worried about a certain first cousin once removed when it escalates to the TV telling him to do things. If he accuses it of just spying on him, we all heave a sigh of relief.
Second, whether or not she’s right, we should help allay her fears by doing some reasoning about who it is spying on her through her TV.
If it were some dangerous govt agency, or maybe some malevolent AI, trying to spy on her, it wouldn’t alert her to that fact by switching the screen on and sending images her way. The mechanism implanted in her TV by the Deep State, or whatever, would capture its images and sounds of MTG silently and without any visual cue to let her know that she’s being spied on. It certainly would not give her a video on her TV screen of the malevolent hacker person typing out his evil spycraft instructions on a laptop.
Yes, she is being spied on. That is clear as day, because if an authority like MTG says it’s so, you can take that to the bank. But, she is being spied on by really stupid people or AI, so stupid that they don’t understand that TV transmissions are one-way, and the wrong way at that, if your intent is to transmit from MTG’s living room to Deep State Headquarters.
21It’s possible that another remote could affect her TV (we have that problem). Heck, I’ve been in a parking lot and clicked to unlock my car only to have another one react. As for the typing something in, I’d hazard it’s either delusion or simple confusion caused by joining some program midstream.
Whenever I see Greene’s name come up in a news story, I seem to automatically mentally shift to the Almond Joy/Mounds commercial music (“Sometimes you feel like a nut…”).
22I look forward to the day when the only thing in the news about Greene is that she bit a prison guard who is now being tested for rabies.
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