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“I fully understand that Louie Gohmert’s just an empty whiskey bottle in life’s honky tonk,” Juanita admits, “but some damn fool voters gave the boy the keys to the Capitol Building.”

Speaking shortly after he riled up a crowd at Tuesday’s Tea Party protest, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) declared that “demons” – yes, demons – have invaded the capital (and likely the souls of Democrats), forcing lawmakers to mislead the public about the content of the health care bill.

“Did he say demons?”  Thelma, a provisional member of the Belles of Heaven Republican  Women’s Club knows a thing or two about demons.  In fact, you could pretty much consider her an expert being as how she’s been to three exorcisms, a few dunkings down at The River, two tent revivals, and The Sisterhood of Renewed Perpetual Virginity Annual Luncheon meeting.  All last month.

Thelma has told us before that demons is a Republican code word for Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Michelle Obama.  “We can’t say what they really are, which is  ‘witch’ because the liberal media will tell everyone that we said a word very close to that one, you know, ‘twitch.’  Or maybe it was ‘glitch,’ I really don’t remember.  But, anyway,” she explains with great patience for those of us who are not Republican insiders, “we call them demons, which doesn’t rhyme with anything so the liberal media can’t get us.  See, demon … no rhyme.”

There are some snickers.  More than you’d expect from grown women.

Gohmert, who is about three-fourths of a half wit, didn’t stop at that.  No, siree, the boy was on a roll and was close to passing the plate and doing saving some souls.  It was obvious that Gohmert had moved from the female demons and was having visions of Hollywood proportions.

Gohmert insisted that the bill the House was set to consider would appropriate $700 million for abortions — defying the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits federal money going to such a procedure.

“I brought an abortion to show you today,” he said, hosting a copy of the health care bill in his right hand. The crowd responded with a chant of “Abort the bill!”

And then, out of nowhere, Gohmert began spreading the word that underworld spirits were lurking around the Capitol building behind him.

“Thelma, that’s just creepy.  Talk like that is just creepy,” Juanita says with more than her usual amount of exasperation at Thelma.  “I’m at the end of my tether with these crazy fellas.  It’s just health care, Thelma.  It ain’t a Jeeesuh-burnin.”

“Well, then how do you explain the demons?” Thelma asks smartly.

“Thelma, there ain’t no demons.  Louie is drunk.  He doesn’t have enough blood in his alcohol system.  Listen to me, Girl.  Louie Gohmert ain’t going to Heaven.  There’s a lot of spokes missing in his wheel and he’s acting the fool to get on the nightly news.”

“Well, I hope they get a good shot of the demons,” Thelma replied with all the sincerity a dead wrong Republican can muster, which is a powerful amount.

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