“I am not a crook.”  – Richard Nixon, 1973

“I’m a crook.  So what?” – Donald Trump, 2019

And GOP leaders don’t care.

Sondland released his opening statement a few minutes ago AND he’s going to pin the who Ukrainegate thing on…wait for it…Trump and Giuliani.  MoJo is reading it live right now and it is ugly (and beautiful for us).

I do believe and I can hear ol’ Dandy Don Meredith singing out there somewhere.

Yesterday, Trump had an unscheduled 2 hour medical appointment at Walter Reed.  In a written statement, Stephanie Grisham, new White House press secretary toady, spouted some tripe about “getting a head start” on his annual physical for 2020.  I call bullshit.  This is one of two things: 1) He has a real health problem born of his morbid obesity, poor physical condition, and horrible diet; 2) This is the setup for manufacturing a health problem that will eventually end in a resignation from the office “for health reasons”.

First let’s talk about his physical condition.  Trump and his enablers regularly lie about his health.  He and his doctors claim he’s 6′ 3″.  That’s not even close.  I actually met him at a golf tournament about 15 years ago and he was not as tall as me, and I’m 6’0″.  Also, he’s known for a really goofy forward leaning, ass sticking out posture.  Here’s an example:

Also, Trump’s trouser length varies greatly, sometimes clownishly long.  Here’s a pic of Trump when he visited a Virginia church arriving directly from one of his hundreds of rounds of golf.

Analysts of body language say this odd posture is because Trump wears shoes with 2 1/2″ to 3″ lifts in them to make him look taller.  Those lifts throw off his balance causing this posture to lean noticeably forward to stay upright.  When he’s not wearing lifts, like when he plays golf, his trousers are way too long.

Why does Trump do this?  Probably for the same reason he lies about his hand size, intellect, global knowledge, and “unmatched wisdom”, but also to hide the fact that he’s morbidly obese.  His last physical in February 2018 had him at 243 lbs., 4 lbs. over his previous physical.  At his fictionalized height, that would give him a body mass index of 30.4, right on the edge of obesity.  At an actual height of, say, 5’10”, which has been projected as his actual height, that gives him a BMI of 34.9, right on the edge of morbid obesity.  With his other maladies, such as physical condition, high cholesterol, and grade school boy diet, he’s clearly in the morbid zone.

Having talked about his actual terrible condition, let’s talk about a “bad health” exit strategy.  This is actually the perfect exit for Trump once the tsunami of evidence against he gets so high that even he can no longer ignore and attack it.  Think about it – his doctors today freely lie about his condition; it’s conceivable that (in lieu of an actual health crisis) doctors could diagnose him with just about any malady and it would be believable.  He could resign based on this diagnosis, saving at least some face, ushering in Pence who would then pardon him for at least all of his federal crimes.  Trump could then retire to Mara Lago out of the public eye and then start fighting the state charges that would surely come.

Call me crazy, but I’ve always believed that a health based resignation could be a viable alternative for Trump to avoid facing impeachment charges.

1. As JJ pointed out, Roger Stone got the book thrown at him today, convicted of all seven felony charges of lying and obstruction.  Those convictions were critical to bring the the forefront of our nation’s conscience that lying to the congress and the FBI is a CRIME; a serious CRIME.
2. Add to that the virtually flawless testimony of Marie Yovanovitch, the former Ambassador to Ukraine who had been recalled and smeared by Trump because she got in the way of his drug deal Giuliani was trying to pull off.  She was very straightforward, non-partisan, and professional, and even acknowledged the appearance of conflict with Hunter Biden’s board seat on Burisma’s board.
3. The big news of the day, though, is when Trump committed another felony (and added another article to his impeachment) LIVE on Twitter and national television when he tweeted a personal attack against Yovanovitch.  When the tweet came out, Schiff halted the questioning, and read the tweet to her, soliciting her immediate response.  Her response was muted, but talked about her career as a professional being stationed in troubled places around the world whose troubles didn’t start with her.  The backlash against Trump was swift and loud, and even Fox Noise talking heads spoke out against Trump’s actions.  When the Trump National Network is speaking out, you know it’s bad.

All of this adds up to a bad day for Trump, a very bad day.  I found it immensely entertaining.

One of our readers suggested an edit to the name, and with a little modification to that, I agree.  So, read on, dear friends.

More reports have emerged of more abuse of athletes at Ohio State by a sports doctor Richard Strauss, and those reports now total a staggering 1,429.  A wrestling referee has stated that he reported 300 cases of this abuse to Jim Jordan, (R)-Ohio, who was then an assistant wrestling coach at the university.  Jordan, of course, “has no recollection” of this hailstorm of reports over 17 years.  His lack of knowledge of such a pervasive case of sexual abuse doesn’t pass the straight faced test, not even close.

So, in these days of labeling and name calling fostered by Trump, it seems a label for Jordan might fit.  One who allows, and even fosters sexual abuse of innocent people is often called a pimp.  So, Jimmy the Pimp seems an appropriate label for Jordan, and it rolls off the tongue almost as easily as Moscow Mitch, the name for Mitch McConnell coined by none other than Nancy Pelosi.  So, it could be a good label for our friend Jim Jordan, who loves attacking anyone and everyone who is trying to hold Donald Trump to account.  Maybe some of his own medicine is appropriate.

Bill Oakley, former writer and show runner for the Simpsons wrote a piece in the Washington Post pointing out that the GOP’s defense of Trump is actually taken from one of the episodes of the famous animated series that’s been on televisions for 31 seasons.  Called the “Sideshow Bob” defense, it’s about a character in the show who mounts his own grass roots campaign to get himself released from prison so he can get elected mayor of Springfield, USA and continue his crime spree.  In his campaign, he argues on a Rush Limbaugh style show that being convicted of attempted murder is the same as being convicted of “attempted chemistry”, and therefor not a crime.  He succeeds, and installs himself as mayor, claiming that any white man in a tie and speaking with authority will convince 55% of the people. Long story short, he continues his crime spree as mayor and is eventually undone by Lisa and Bart Simpson.  During his trial, when asked why he did it, Sideshow Bob erupts into a confession claiming, “Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a coldhearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.”

Actual history is imitating animated comedy.  Such is the state of our country today.