Well, you attack Bill Clinton.  Yeah, Bill Clinton. For coming to the Presidential debate. Seriously.

The boys who own and operate our local newspaper here are still outraged, outraged I tell you, over Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.  Bless their hearts, they are so old that the Clinton / Lewinsky episode saved them a fortune in Viagra while it was happening.

I need to tell you that in Texas, outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.  So, they keep a Bill Clinton card in their back pocket and they can skip the whole wine and Sinatra part.

Their newspaper is behind a giant paywall so I will show you the editorial they had today and the front page.  I’ve never seen such scared little ninnies in my life.

Here’s the editorial.  You can click on the picture to see it full size.

A little reminder for the boys at the Fort Bend Herald:

After his impeachment proceedings in 1998 and 1999, Clinton’s rating reached its highest point at 73% approval. He finished with a Gallup poll approval rating of 65%, higher than that of every other departing president measured since Harry Truman.

See, boys, that would include Ronald Reagan.  Reagan left office with an approval rating of 57%.  I’d also like to note that their hero Tom DeLay, who lead the fight against Clinton, ended up with an approval rating of 27%.

I guess I also need to remind them that Clinton was impeached but not convicted.

If you’re wondering how the Fort Bend Herald boys justify their statement of “Most reasonable people accused and shamed publicly disappear into the fabric of society never to be seen again,” with the horror of man they support for President, take a look at the front page.

That newspaper defies seven laws of physics by being able to stand up straight on the page.  Why it doesn’t topple over to the right is a mystery.  I cannot imagine why they didn’t find a Benghazi story in this edition.

I’ve got fifty bucks riding on the bet that the Fort Bend Herald will be the first newspaper in America to endorse Donald Trump.

Good Lord.   Amazing. Astounding. Unbelievable.  Really?  Were your fingers quivering when you typed that, boys?