Snowflakes Everywhere!
Okay, stop whatever you were doing and giggle your butt off.
Devin Nunes is suing Twitter because people are saying bad things about him on there that are causing him great pain and suffering. No, I am not kidding. He used those exact words.
He wants $600 million in damages. Yeah, well, so do I but do you see me whining about Franny Sue Jackson, my competitor over at “Get Your Locks Off,” saying I give crappy haircuts? No, I’m a proud grown up woman and I would never give Franny Sue acknowledgement that I even know who she is.
To sue somebody, you have to prove that you’ve been damaged in some way. Wanna know the damages that Nunes claims? He says …
… that Twitter played a key role in slowing Nunes’s 2018 re-election campaign, when compared with his larger wins in previous re-election bids. The lawsuit said that Twitter allowed “fake accounts” to slander Nunes, including one by a user who claimed to be Nunes’s mother.
Oh, it hurt him so much that he didn’t win his gerrymandered district as big as he usually does, and I am certain that has nothing to do with the fact that he stole peoples’ babies, locked them in cages, and won’t give them back. Ot that he made a total horse’s patootie of himself running back and forth to the White House so they could tell him what he should do next in committee hearings.
The Twitter accounts he says ran a “defamation campaign of stunning breadth and scope, one that no human being should ever have to bear and suffer in their whole life” (seriously) include @DevinNunesMom, @DevinCow, @fireDevinNunes.
Never again should any Republican call any progressive a snowflake.
Hey Nunes – you’re a jerk and ninny. I hope that hurt like hell.
WATB
1I think everyone should send poor little Devin a copy of the Butthurt Report Form.
2https://form.ingressbutthurt.com/
I am a bit of nature lover so I won’t call Nunes a weasel. Those animals not only have a genuine purpose in nature they also have well deserved pride! Frankly, he was the engineer of his own demise but true to his excrutiatingly self serving nature, he will never admit it nor learn from it. Gads! I wonder if he was an only child? You know, the kind that are totally doted on, his every whim answered even before it became realized. I bet Bubba would agree that he suit will be thrown out of court forthwith.
3Devin Nunes’ Alt-Mom has garnered over 60,000 (and counting) followers since about 9am this morning. There are now about 6 or more brand spanking NEW Devin accounts with various names. It’s too early for popcorn but watching the Streisand Effect in real time is quite entertaining.
4EDIT: It’s actually the Devin Nunes’ cow account that has users following like crazy.
5The irony runs deep in the Midnight Moron from CA-22. Twitter is the last remaining crumb available to cure IQ45’s erectile dysfunction, yet Nunes would sue the platform that gave breach birth to his beloved Individual 1. Sad.
6His lawyer is Steven S. Biss, who has experience in trying to sue news organizations:
https://medium.com/@sonicstoic/npr-sued-for-57mm-in-defamation-lawsuit-9ec426e29fb9
That article has the same level of bombast and fake outrage as in the current case. And one of its subtitles is “Deliberately Ignored Facts to Peddle Fake Collusion Narrative”. Which sounds remarkably like what Fox, Trump and S. H. Sanders have been doing.
7When you sue somebody, doesn’t the other side get to ask you questions?
8So wouldn’t it be like the BEST karma if a Twitter person took Nunes down, for say colluding with Russia, or conspiring with Trump to obstruct justice?
So…Nunes doesn’t want to be humiliated by the public. Then don’t become a public figure. Or don’t be a public figure who does and says stupid sh*t.
9OMG!! The ‘cow’ is up to 88.6K followers! I swear it was at about 27K when I first read the article. Now … here are some of the accounts:
Devin Nunes’ cow
Devin Nunes’ Alt-Mom
Devin Nunes’ Milk Pail
Nunes’ Side Cow
Devin Nunes’ Mad Cowbell
Devin Nunes’ Mom’s Cow
devin nunes’ cow’s mom
Devin Nunes’ Grapes
Devin Nunes’ Yacht
Devin Nunes’ Tractor
Andy Lassner (Ellen’s EP) and George Takei (10 Million followers) are also encouraging users to follow ‘Devin Nunes’ cow’ and if their number of followers jump on the bandwagon, we’re going to be rolling hard all day long. 🙂
10Not Twitter’s fault.
Just like the sitting president is Putin’s d!ck holster, Nunes is the sitting president’s d!ck holster. And some Cali voters saw that and were turned off by the sight.
Mr Nunes, Please follow the advice of the all-knowing, all-seeing sage from Gilmer Texas, Donald Hugh Henley, and “Get Over It”.
11Thank you, Mike. I did just that in all it’s hilarious glory. His staff, at least, should find it good for some laughs.
His e-mail form can be found in the top right corner of his official website. (That is about the phoniest smile on a politician that I have ever seen.)
12Now if we could get Twitter’s attorneys and as many people as possible in the courtroom to show up wearing pearls…….
13PASS THE POPCORN!!
David Nunes’ Cow just passed 100K followers and I can not stop laughing. Ohhhh myyy, my side hurts from laughing so hard.
14To David Nunes’ Frivolous Lawsuit – thanks for that, it made at least part of my day and that’s a lot. I keep a little on the side for the daily Trump twittrums.
15Typical NSGOP member. His dying act will be a grasp for money.
16My Little Pony Devin is lucky he wasn’t around back in the day. His little butterfly wings would have melted in the sun.
Loved this article when I first read it-
https://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/08/20/the-dirtiest-presidential-campaign-ever-not-even-close/#361c826e3d84
when a journalist wrote of John Adams that he
17“behaved neither like a man nor like a woman but instead possessed a hideous hermaphroditical character.”
Mooo, said I, will follow the powerful cow.
18The Cow is indeed powerful! She has over 144K followers as of this comment, hahahah.
I knew it was only a matter of time that someone gave us the full timeline of the story. Story moving so fast, the twitter account is now garnering about 2K EVERY 10 MINUTES ~ I told ya, Popcorn is needed!
https://www.sfchronicle.com/politics/article/Devin-Nunes-cow-goes-viral-13700701.php
19I just dropped a harmless little milk joke into the fray, went off to do some work, and came back to over 100 likes. Cud you believe it?
20I had, of course, heard the term Human Centipede bandied about, but didn’t know what it meant.
Now, I can only vainly wish that time travel existed, so that I could return to those halcyon days of innocence.
IIICCCKKK!!!
21Sorry I don’t know how to post an image here, but I have one of a guy hauling in a bag of popcorn as big as he is, captioned, “Sorry I’m late– had to get enough popcorn for all of us.”
22Guess who co-sponsored the the “Discouraging frivolous lawsuits bill” in the last Congress.
https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/1179/cosponsors
23I started following Nunes Cow on twitter today to aid in pissing Nunes off. He belongs in jail along with the first (crime) family.
24Speaking of twitter, if you’re a dog lover and don’t follow “Thoughts of Dog” @dog_feelings – get yourself over there and do it now. It’s just delightful.
25One more thing: DevinCow’s #BeButter is trending on twitter. Fun stuff. Poor little Snowflake Nunes might explode. LOLOLOLOL
26A little background on Nunes attorney, Steven S Biss! He’s definitely Supreme Court material!
https://www.progress-index.com/progress-index/news/1.416792/archive
27Nunes needs to move along, and find butter things to do than sue innocent cows. Otherwise, he’ll look udderly ridiculous trying to milk money out of people.
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