Say What You Will About Rick Perry But His “Opps” Didn’t Last For Five Minutes
Years ago, I used to work at a radio station doing the news. It wasn’t a bad gig except for the fact that it was a country/western radio station who considered Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings to be dope-smokin’ Jesus hatin’ hippies. Honey, there’s only so much Porter Waggoner and Tammy Wynette a girl can take without yelling shut-the-hell-up.
One time just before the noon news, a DJ who was particularly obnoxious to any women who worked at the station, put on a Wilf Carter, the “yodeling” cowboy, tune and ran for the bathroom. As records were apt to do years ago, it started skipping, and for all that is holy in heaven, I promise you that it sounded exactly like Wilf was yodeling the F word. Over, and over, and over. It was a thing of great beauty.
It went on for at least three minutes before the DJ got back. That same exact thing happened to Marco Rubio, and it was also a thing of great beauty, amusement, and the complete death of a political career.
Look, I’m not saying that Marco Rubio is a robot, but I sure would like to see him walk through a metal detector.
I’m putting this here too you can watch it again, and again, and again.
Thank you, sweet saints of robots.
Best line of the night came from my friend Bob, who said, “Hey, if I wanted to watch a fat guy scream at a little kid for 10 minutes, I’d go to Walmart.”
Your friend Bob is funny. And right!
Happy Super Bowl 50 everybody!
1They sure had their share of bloopers didn’t they. Marco memorized his line perfectly but forgot to think of anything else.
2It was like the thing with the water bottles. He seemed in a trance.
The fact that Marco Rubio is ‘leading candidate’ for the Presidency of the United States, and is considered one of the best choices available to the Republican party, is a sad sad statement about the America that we live in. The leading candidates in that party are a Fascist (Trump), an authoritarian Theocrat (Cruz), and a special interest puppet (Rubio), with the best option coming up a mobster (Cristie). What that says about the number of people willing to be ipart of that political party, and America overall, is very discouraging.
3People may not want to vote ‘Democrat’ because of whatever reason, but do they have to align themselves with ANY of the Republican choices? What is the underlying cause of this self destructive behavior?
“And let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world. That’s why he passed Obamacare and the stimulus and Dodd-Frank and the deal with Iran.”
He says that like it’s a bad thing!
4That sounds like a news teaser on channel 666 out in Bumfunkia, Tx “At Lubbock Walmart, fat guy screams at little kid for 10 minutes. More at 10 on KKK-TV”
5That was hilarious! And the thing is, Rubio kept doing it, not only with “Obama knows exactly what he’s doing,” but other robotic talking points. I don’t say this often, but Christie was right!
6Between that and the apparent collusion (or collision) of two candidates at the beginning of the evening, it was big laughs all around.
And Rubio is the great hope of the establishment. They are in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.
7I could only stand 2 minutes, 33 seconds of that … I simply cannot stand listening to any of them! Blech!! And I know I can’t stand to listen to it over and over and over again! Blech again!
8I’m sorry Dave, but Marco Rubio is no HAL 9000.
9Speaking of radio… Way back when, when radio wasn’t canned and homogenized and FM hadn’t yet taken hold, one of the cardinal rules was NEVER R and R (Rip and read). I remember once when as “news on the hour” approached, the reader (who doubled as a DJ) went to the tt (teletype) and ripped off the latest news summary. The newscast went smooth until the reader got to a story about Australia which was supposed to read “Australia’s current boom…” However, for reasons unknown, the word current was spelled using only the first 2 and last 2 letters! OOPS! The reader realized what he had done and stopped… leaving nothing but dead air (another radio sin). However if one was listening close the sound of paper being wadded up could be heard. Followed by more dead air then finally a canned station break.
Rubio’s little miscue reminded me of that story from back in the 60s. However, the DJ was smart enough to know he screwed up.
Rubio??? Not so much.
10If Rubio represents sanity in the GOP we are in far deeper doo-doo than we could possibly imagine. Bless his heart!
11Tom, that was my thought when I heard it. It was like an endorsement of Obama. I loved it.
12Maybe he’s trying to get Obama reelected?
13mb, I’m crying tears of laughter!
14Oh dear, and what a boom that must have been!!
15Susan, your story reminds me of a story told by Dan Rather when he was giving the commencement address at my graduation from the BYU Communications Dept. back in 1971. He talked about working in a small town radio station in Texas in his younger years. Working the Sunday morning shift, he would put on one of the many paid telepreachers’ programs that were common then. Such programs were distributed on oversized 16-rpm records that would last half an hour on a side. So he had plenty of time to go next door to visit with his girl friend who worked at the drive-in. One Sunday morning, he was chatting with his girl friend, when the drive-in’s phone rang. It was the radio station manager. “Go turn on your car radio and listen to what you’re airing,” he said bruskly, and then hung up. Sure enough, there it was, the record was skipping, and was repeating, over and over, “go to hell” …click… “go to hell” …click… “go to hell” …click…
16Lots of us old rip and read disc jockeys still here. I worked (was run out of stations) in Beaumont, Port Arthur, Corpus Christi and Houston. All in the 1960’s.
17Oh Scott, that is funny! I hope the station manager thought it was.
18The problem with Rubio is that there’s no there there.
19Scott, there’s a followup. As I recall from Dan Rather’s book, not long after that he put on a feed from another station, and in the middle of it was: “And now we pause for this important word.” And another man’s voice saying, “Horse****!”
Rather thought he was sure to be fired this time, but by the time he had raced back to the broadcast booth, the other station was apologizing.
(An article about sneezes and such in other languages mentioned that one man’s sneezes always sound like “Horse****!” I can’t do that when I sneeze. I’ve tried.)
(And now I bet some of you are going to try, aren’t you?)
20You did mean OOPS, right?
21JD – Indeed I did, but my keyboard hates me.
22I’m predicting that half the Friday cartoons are going to be about a wind-up RoboMarco dummy stuck in a loop.
I heard his spiel once and thought that he must have practiced that whole rant pretty dang good, then a bit later he wound up the same stuff almost verbatim and I started to wonder if I had entered the Twilight Zone, then a third time (I think).
23Awesome, like one of those little ‘speak and say’ dolls you got your kids, stuck on one track.
It was actually a pretty good Repukkkian rant, the first time; punched all their buttons and usual talking points; I can see every teabagger in the country nodding their vapid heads in agreement..
Like Ronald Reagan without his index cards. Wouldn’t you love to see Marco’s face, if a moderator were to say: “Snap quiz, everybody. Multiple choice. Highest grade wins.”
24Hell, some of em couldn’t even get out on the stage! (Mental Ben, I’m looking at you.)
25Rubio is a replicant (Blade Runner), he just hasn’t realized it yet.
26Read today’s BOROWITZ REPORT about Christie’s plans for the future.
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