Okay, so here’s the deal. Juanita knows that she’s very, very good at two things: (1) fixin’ hair, and (2) hackin’ off creepy people.

There are rules for posting at this website. They are listed in clear view and have earned the Good Beauty Salonkeeping Seal of Approval, evidenced by their own special button at the top of this page. One of those rules is that you cannot liable people. Not here. Not now.

“I am perfectly willing to get sued for saying what I want to say. However, I am not willing to get sued for what you want to say,” Juanita explains very slowly for those with understanding disabilities.

So, when Juanita hacked off some obviously unattractive people, one of them anonymously posted all over this website, beginning with this erudite comment about Juanita’s grooming habits by actually typing these words —

Yeah, you had better treat Miss Fabulous nice — it is unlikely that anyone else is interested in getting close enough to her to do so.

“Honey, Honey, Honey,” Juanita begins as she kicks off her cute little pink and black pumps and pours herself a little vino at the end of the day before she relaxes on her fainting couch to watch the news, “that statement is libelous in 14 states and  Czechoslovakia.  Look it up.”

Juanita would like for me to warn folks.  You get one shot at her.  Only one.  After that, she puts you on the “Socially Inept Goofy Guy” list and all your future comments go directly to the trash bin and nobody even sees them.

“So,” she winks, “you’re gonna have to do better than that with your one shot.”