For the thousandth time, Rick Perry is not gay.  Not gay.  Not at all.  Not even kinda.  No gayo.

So it was just shocking, shocking I tell you, when Texas Land Commissioner and very sore loser Jerry Patterson indicated that there might be something amiss in Perry’s “sexual” department.

Jerry: a manly man

In an article about boots in the Austin American Statesman, Patterson mused …

Jerry Patterson: retired Marine, beloved state official, haberdashery expert.

He also noted boots are good for carrying knives, small guns, “unmentionables” or “a small flask, giving rise to BYIB (bring yours in boot).”

Well, apparently you can also carry a sharp stick in your boots.  Our governor, Duh Perry, says he quit wearing boots because of his bad back.

“Tell Rick that boots can be purchased with normal heels,” he wrote. “I lament the fact that our governor could now pass for a West Coast metrosexual and has embarrassed us all with his sartorial change of direction.”

Yikes!  Metrosexual.  That’s just three alphabet letters away from … you know, what Perry is NOT.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.