Rand Paul, Y’all!
I guess I was kinda on target at one of my paying jobs this month when I wrote about those wacky Libertarians.
Rand Paul just announced that he’s running for President of America.
And he promises to kill that animal on his head.
Okay, that was a cheap shot. I shouldn’t have said that. Poor man, he has no idea what’s on his head because his skull is so damn thick.
I have deep concerns about somebody who doesn’t believe in government wanting to run government. I mean, why be in charge of something you don’t believe in? It’d be like making me in charge of male superiority. I’d kill it. First day on the job – I would kill it.
I’m just warning you people.. that’s all.
Rand has a very narrow appeal that he’s trying to expand by taking Mitt’s approach: flip flopping depending on his audience. But he already has his base sewn up, sort of.
Who are they?
20-something white dudes: The mainstay of libertarianism, privileged white youths who think being John Galt means dropping out of a society that serves losers. This is to protect their own privilege, and grow hydroponic weed and write mocking online comments. Their preferred method of engagement is to affect a world-weary cynicism, not seeing the irony of their own situation.
30-something white dudes: Formerly the mainstay of RON Paul’s caucus support, same as the 20-somethings, only 10 years later and still living in their mother’s basement. The cynicism is still affected, but is now masking anger as well as naivete.
40-something white dudes: Having found a woman willing to get nekkid with them, they immediately moved out of the basement and into a relationship they have found less and less compelling, the more they’re forced to stay in a job in order to make rent. They’ve bought the guns mom wouldn’t allow, and their Ayn Randian zeitgeist has matured to overt anger over the dispossession of their privilege by the loser masses, who won’t shake off their Santa overlords.
50-something white dudes: Very few 20-something white dudes make it this far. This is different part of Daddy Ron’s coterie, who see the Illuminati lurking behind every arras, chase the gold standard as the holy grail, and profess a subfusc racism. Born 50 years earlier, they might have been Goldwater supporters. Today they are more likely to be TeaBirchers.
60-plus white dudes: few and far between. They’re either liking their Social Security and Medicare too much, or are too plugged in to FOX news to consider Rand as their guy.
In the end, his potential support is a mile wide and an inch deep, as are a lot of the potential supporters.
1So confused! Is he actually running to be non-President?
2Heard yesterday that baby Aqua Buddha planned to announce today. That made me think of him, while watching the men’s NCAA finals last night: “wonder if Ran knows that is NOT Kentucky playing.”
Think it was the other Kentucky clown, the Turtle, who mistakenly featured a picture of the Duke basketball team in his campaign.
*yawn* Yeah, who cares? The GOP is full of interchangeable idiots.
3daChipster, great analysis–that pretty much covers it. In 2008 there was a small but active Ron Paul group in town. I’d see them waving signs at intersections and attaching signs to poles.
They all seemed to be well under 30, 90% white, and while there were a few young women, the guys were the big majority.
I always honked my horn and gave them a “thumbs up.” I thought it was a great idea to split the GOP vote. Didn’t see many in 2012, though. I don’t remember now if that was a “Ron year or a “Rand” year.
4Republicans don’t believe in government anyway. This fool just takes it an itty bit farther.
5deChipster,
Great analysis. I see these ‘dudes’ every day – they are all broke and seemingly single….who would put up with this kind of moronic thinking when your Mom tosses you?
6Seems like the last wingnut Potus had a problem with day to day functions of being in charge. He would rather have played video games. He certainly didn’t learn from his experience and science projects in 8 years.
7Breaking News: The Brontosaurus is back. I presume it will be running in the Republican primary: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/dinosaurs/11519933/Brontosaurus-raised-from-dead-as-scientists-rule-dinosaur-did-exist.html
8One reason Paul’s support is dudes may be that his version of “libertarianism” does not extend to anyone except white dudes. It certainly doesn’t extend to women’s contraceptive choices.
9Every time I hear politicos like Paul say they want “to RETURN our country to the principles of liberty and limited government,” I take it to mean that they want to return to the eighteenth-century lifestyle in which elites like themselves owned all the nonwhites and “kept” all the women.
10Doesn’t Rand have to resign his Senate seat in order to run for President or did they repeal that law in the last election?
11He’s not eligible to hold the office. He was born in LaLa Land. It’s on his birth certificate. Really, you can look it up.
12Aside from assessing their relative strengths and weaknesses I care less than a whit who the GOP trots out in 2016. Hilary is in my mind at least the Dem candidate presumptive. I’m getting lots of sleep and taking real vitamins between now and the minute after the Dem nomination, because it will be game on from that moment.
13da Chipster: He even flip-flops his wardrobe. Did you see him all duded up in cowboy boots and jeans, with a semi-turtleneck pullover and a casual jacket specially for the SXSW conflagration in Austin recently? Can you spell “pandering”?
14my my, the republican clown car will need to be switched to an Econoline to better fit all these idgits and maroons* in.
*Hats off to bugs bunny
15Frankly, I thought Rand’s declaration speech today was one of his best – not that that means much in the universe of political speeches. It should be downhill from here.
16UmptyDump, you deserve a medal and a free decontamination bath for your bravery. Listening to pandering Randy is worse than …. strike that … the same as wading through three week old rotten word salad left in the desert by former and present passengers in the GOP clown car.
BTW For the record, I like young people and basketball. Quite often I root for the underdog. The young men from Wisconsin played a terrific game last night, but lost to Duke. So, to all you fans of Wisconsin and basketball: remember the loss was Scooter Walker’s fault. Scooter should be jailed for that, if not for all his other crimes.
The 2016 GOP Trifecta with the Outlaw Jersey Whale, Scooter and pRick Perry all vying for prison time. Don’t forget to double down on Bush the Lumpier. Now that he has declared as Hispanic, maybe Daffy Cruz Jr. will arrange to have him deported.
Months away and the fun has already begun. Rand Paul the Swift Boat is coming for you. In other news, Reince Priebus has been promoted to Colonel; Colonel Custer, that is.
17Really, what is the deal with rwnj’s and stupid hairdos? Look at Gowdy of the whatever they call HUAC these days.
18HEY JJ: Proving there’s a god, Paul’s online announcement pulled because background music is copyrighted! Massive fail!
19YouTube is blocking viewing of the Paul clip. As per JoeMyGod.
20JAK, Paul seems to have a habit of using other people’s work without their permission.
21I tried to listen to him on MSNBC yesterday … had to shut off the TV when I started cursing at the TV … and I agree with this: “I have deep concerns about somebody who doesn’t believe in government wanting to run government. I mean, why be in charge of something you don’t believe in?”
22Plagiarising Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now there’s a platform to be proud of.
23“Rand Paul is a different kind of Republican! Rand Paul has all sorts of new ideas! New ideas like, um, opposing same-sex marriage, backing the ‘Life Begins at Conception Act’ (which would make abortion illegal), and keeping marijuana illegal. Rand Paul also has a big new idea about climate change: it’s not happening and Paul opposes efforts to regulate carbon emissions! Rand Paul wants to increase defense spending by $190 billion! He opposes Obama’s nukes deal with Iran, and he fully backs the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision that allows unregulated and unlimited contributions to flow into campaigns! Rand Paul also supports the Supreme Court decision that gutted the Voting Rights Act! Paul opposes all gun control measures, has pledged to repeal Obamacare, and wants to use drones to police our border with Mexico and increase the number of deportations. Rand Paul isn’t like all of those other Republicans who want to do all of the exact same things Rand Paul wants to do.” Dan Savage, writing for the Stranger.
Love your blog.
24