Puerto Rico: the Wet Side’s Gory
Haven’t been around as much as I’d like lately, and I apologize. Family health stuff, much more pressing job, yadda yadda – the exigencies of life. But what with learning that Puerto Rico is in the midst of an ocean that, apparently, our navy can’t navigate past Gitmo, I reflected on what else is true about Puerto Rico, and came to the realization that everything Trump knows about it, he learned on Broadway in the 50s. So I’ll just leave the stage version of these lyrics, from West Side Story, right here:
Puerto Rico,
You lovely island . . .
Island of tropical breezes.
Always the pineapples growing,
Always the coffee blossoms blowing . . .
Chita Rivera as Anita (Broadway)She’s STILL hot, BTW
ANITA
Puerto Rico . . .
You ugly island . . .
Island of tropic diseases.
Always the hurricanes blowing,
Always the population growing . . .
And the money owing,
And the babies crying,
And the bullets flying.
I like the island Manhattan.
Smoke on your pipe and put that in!
I like to be in America!
O.K. by me in America!
Ev’rything free in America
For a small fee in America!
I like the city of San Juan.
ANITA
I know a boat you can get on.
ROSALIA
Hundreds of flowers in full bloom.
ANITA
Hundreds of people in each room!
Automobile in America,
Chromium steel in America,
Wire-spoke wheel in America,
Very big deal in America!
Rita Moreno as Anita (Movie) and lately
Also, still caliente!
ROSALIA
I’ll drive a Buick through San Juan.
ANITA
If there’s a road you can drive on.
ROSALIA
I’ll give my cousins a free ride.
ANITA
How you get all of them inside?
Immigrant goes to America,
Many hellos in America;
Nobody knows in America
Puerto Rico’s in America!
I’ll bring a T.V. to San Juan.
ANITA
If there’s a current to turn on!
ROSALIA
I’ll give them new washing machine.
ANITA
What have they got there to keep clean?
I like the shores of America!
Comfort is yours in America!
Knobs on the doors in America,
Wall-to-wall floors in America!
When I will go back to San Juan.
ANITA
When you will shut up and get gone?
ROSALIA
Everyone there will give big cheer!
ANITA
Everyone there will have moved here!