Alabama, you suck!

A new JMC Analytics poll in Alabama finds Roy Moore leading the Republican field for the U.S. Senate primary with 30%, followed by Sen. Luther Strange at 22%, Rep. Mo Brooks at 19% and  Trip Pittman at 6%.

If you don’t know who Roy Moore is, he is a man who has been ordained by God to hate homosexuals, liberated wimmen, all things not white and Baptist, and reading books.

He is a damn mess.

Seriously, a real mess.  His wife is is the president of the Foundation for Moral Law and his son is a A Real Mess, Junior.  He has been arrested 8 times in 5 years, mostly for driving drunk.  The last arrest was for illegal hunting on private property, which in Alabama means you were walking around your neighbor’s backyard with a rifle.

Donald Trump has made Roy Moore look acceptable.

I damn well hate both of them.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

As much as I despise Donald Trump and his infestation of the White House, he’s actually not the problem.  As much as I opposed Hillary Clinton’s candidacy (twice), she’s actually not the problem.  Barack Obama’s presidency being blocked from greater accomplishments is actually not the problem.  All of the screaming heads on cable TeeVee are not actually the problem.  The idiots in state houses all over the country trying to strip people of their rights and places to go to the restroom are not actually the problem.  All the other nonsense going on in politics around the US is not actually the problem.

The actual problem?  It’s the Did Not Vote vote.  Did Not Vote wins most every election.  Have a look at this map:

Of eligible votes in 2016, Clinton received 28.43% (65,845,063) of all votes compared to Trump’s 27.20% (62,980,160) and Did Not Vote received 44.37%(102,731,399).  Did not vote won, and the American people lost.  Again.  This is how you get nut jobs like Dan Patrick, Sid Miller, Greg Abbott, and Rick Perry elected to statewide office.  When half of eligible voters can’t be bothered, this is what you get.  If voters actually voted, Russian hacking wouldn’t matter.  Gerrymandering would have much less effect.  Politicians would be driven toward compromise and making government work, rather than barricading themselves in their extreme corners heaving molotov cocktails at the opposition.  They would stop holding Americans hostage over budget squabbles, healthcare, Social Security, and energy policy.

If the majority of Americans actually voted, we would have a government that actually worked.  As it is today, while people sit around watching America’s Got Talent eating their Cheetos and drinking their Diet Coke, evil and/or crazy people make decisions that damage our democracy, threaten Americans’ lives, and make us the laughing stock of the world.

This is the actual problem.  This is what actually needs to get fixed.

Just click right here and enjoy the hell outta yourself.

And please feel free to click around at OutSmart.  It’s classy, sassy, and very smart.

This afternoon North Korea said the U.S. will “pay dearly” for the economic sanctions.

Dear North Korea,

Thank you for the heads up.  We’ve been kinda depressed lately so even a threat sounds exciting to us.

I’d like to remind you that North Korea has a Dear Leader and so do we. Our Dear Leader, Donald Trump, is strong, wise, beloved, and the best Dear Leader ever in the history of all mankind and Mars if there was ever life on Mars.  There’s never been a better Dear Leader than he is and there never will be.  If you don’t believe me, just ask him.

Look, I am a good American so you can bomb anything you want to.  But please, pretty please, be respectful and do not, do NOT, bomb all of Trump’s golf courses, especially any that he is playing oops, working, on.

We appreciate your help in this matter.  Not Trump’s golf courses.  Reminder: do not bomb one of Trump’s golf courses.  The worst thing that could happen to America is for the Better That You Dear Leader Trump to be standing on the first tee and having to watch his beautiful golf course turn into a dump right before his eyes.

Thank you,

Juanita Jean

Y’all, this is not Momma-approved.  Momma wants you to know that she raised me better than this.

But, damn.  This is funny.

And, yeah, it really is Vicente Fox.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYZKrn7Bbl8

It’ll be the best 4 minutes you spend all day.

You’re welcome.

Remember how we used to call men who wagged their weenie in public, sent “surprise!” lewd pictures of themselves to women, demanded sex prior to consideration for employment, or behaved in a lecherous manner, perverts.

Well, now they are called Fox News Hosts.