I will admit this:  I like my TIVO and being able to watch my teevee shows when I want to watch them.

But, Thelma and I have an agreement.  Whichever of us dies first, the other one will go immediately to our house and erase our TIVO and clear our email.  I do not want to leave behind a hundred HGTV shows I never got around to watching nor do I want people to know that I record them religiously.  I also don’t want to “out” many local Republicans who snitch to me about the good gossip.  (Note to local Republicans – if you aren’t snitching to me about another local Republican, you can bet your boopie that someone is snitching to me about you.)

Anydamnway, I read this and got all freaked out this morning.

Dish Network and DirecTV on Monday announced a plan to jointly give political advertisers the ability to microtarget their ads down to the household level. That means that any of over 20 million homes in the United States will soon start getting highly personalized campaign spots that were meant just for them.

Here’s how it works: While your set-top box is idle, it’ll tune into a channel that’s playing the ad you’re meant to see. It’ll record the ad using DVR, then insert it into your regular programming while you’re watching a show — replacing or bumping the ad that was supposed to air instead. This can be replicated for any household that subscribes to Dish or DirecTV, so a political strategist can pick you out and feed you a unique message.

I do not want a box in my house that does secret stuff when I’m not looking.  Well, unless my oven wants to whip up a soufflé while I’m napping.  That would be okay.

What if it screws up and records Sean Hannity and that very day I get hit by a truck and my beloved ones see that on my teevee and think I’m a closet wing nut?  Hell, they probably wouldn’t even come to my funeral.

Look, the only reason I have that tivo thing is to skip over the commercials.  Don’t mess with me, I’m hell on the fast forward button.