Oh, Y’all, It’s Gotta Be Brain Freeze

July 06, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Rick Perry has to study-up to be dumb.

I swear on all that is holy that he’s been taking America-lessons for the past two years so he can run for President and be two IQ points smarter than Sarah Palin.

It didn’t work.

Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) is not backing away from a conspiracy theory he recently floated about the Obama administration somehow coordinating the surge of immigrants coming over the border for some unknown reason.

Perry recently suggested on Fox News that the Obama administration might be “in on this somehow” and helping move immigrants over the border. Asked about that statement on Sunday, Perry didn’t back away.

What?  President Obama is going to use refugees from a Central America drug war to herd us all into underground bunker reeducation camps ruled by the New World Order in Roswell, New Mexico, with Janet Reno’s, the woman who shot Kennedy,  black helicopters hovering overhead?

Well, crap Rick, everybody knows that.  Just go ahead and say it.

RickPerry:God_2smallest

And by the way, please make Rick quit torturing the English language.  In an attempt not to end a sentence with a preposition, we get this …

I have to believe that when you do not respond in any way, that you are either inept, or you have some ulterior motive of which you are functioning from,” Perry said on ABC’s “This Week” on Sunday.

Nice try, Dumbo, but you could have ended the sentence at the word “motive.”

I’ll give somebody fifty dollars cash American money to go convince him that he’s already been President and now it’s time to go to the ranch and paint pictures of himself in the bathtub.

I mean it.

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0 Comments to “Oh, Y’all, It’s Gotta Be Brain Freeze”


  1. Oh Rick, you’re so special.

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  2. If Rick dropped one of the hammers (out of that sack he’s as dumb as) onto his foot, it would be Obama’s fault. Somehow. He doesn’t know how. But it is.

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  3. Poor Rick. Those smart glasses just aren’t doing the job.

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  4. Perry should try claiming Obama is “in on this somehow” while waving a piece of paper over his head claiming it’s the written proof.

    He might get a few years & even a couple of House hearings out of that technique like his fellow Republican Joe McCarthy did.

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  5. OldMayfly says:

    Rick Perry for Presidential Candidate! I enjoy what he adds to the Republican debates.

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  6. maryelle says:

    In the alternate universe where pRick resides,
    the cardinal rule is “Obama conspiracy”. He is the almighty catalyst for everthing Perry dislikes, and even everything Pricky’s not sure about. (which is plenty) Their motto is:
    “When in doubt, call him out!”

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  7. Miss Prissybritches says:

    Martha Raddatz had him for breakfast, lunch, and a snack this morning on ABC. Poor Rick. He’s too damned dumb to know when to stop this early campaign for President. Give it up, Gov… everytime you open your mouth, you end up with it all over your pretty little suit and Metrosexual shoes.

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  8. e platypus onion says:

    Perry bought Clark Kent glasses so he could be Kark Clent and dash into the nearest phone booth and turn into his alter ego Super Dumb Man ,except he can’t find any phone booths anymore. Super Dumb Man’s kryptonite is knowledge. If he attains any,he’s toast.

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  9. RepubAnon says:

    Sounds to me as though Rick’s given up on trying to look smart (not a selling point in today’s GOP) and is now going for “craziest guy in the room.” Unfortunately for Rick, his crazy is only Little League class – and he’s up against serious, long term professional crazies.

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  10. Rick Perry is dumb as a sack of rightwing conspiracy theories. Come to think of it, Rick Perry IS a sack of rightwing conspiracy theories!

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  11. Rick Perry in true, original form. He’s so delusional, must take lessons from Palin.

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  12. Rick Perry continues to embarrass himself on national TV. Pres. Obama held a press conference about migrant kids coming to the U.S. alone and urged the House to act on immigration reform, even though Perry claims the president hasn’t responded in any way. He also says he wants to go to the FAA and request that drones be used to patrol the U.S./Mexico border. Hellooo, Ricky, the FAA doesn’t have jack to do with authorizing the deployment of drones, and besides, drones are already being used at the U.S./Mexico border!

    He soooo wants to be POTUS. He wants to reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave so badly that he’s floating a new conspiracy theory that he knows he won’t have any problem selling to the far right. It might get him their votes in the GOP presidential primary, but he’ll go down like a deflated helium balloon on fire in the general election because most Americans aren’t in the mood to buy his bumbling BS conspiracy theories as being indicative of a politician who possesses a functioning brain. He may not know it, but his thought processes are very similar to those of Gohmert, Stockman, and Farenthold, three of the most unhinged, nutjob pols some Texans could ever send to Congress.

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  13. Chloe Bear says:

    Run Rick Run the other Rs will compete to announce their own ridiculous conspiracy theories.

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  14. Wa Skeptic says:

    If he wants to live at “1600 Pennsylvania Ave” then let him rename his old home place. I think that’s as close as he’s going to get to it.

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  15. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Incredible! The crash and burn two out of “I forget the third” is back with a pair of librarian glasses to bolster his credibility.

    Grab a clue, pRick. Money speaks in America. Immigration reform, marriage equality and other social issues are coming, but those issues as to electability are sorry “quick, look it’s a squirrel shiny objects for your party base.”

    Jobs, dude, and you sure missed that boat in Texas. Been said before and worth saying again, “it’s the economy, stupid.”

    After the two war disasters and economic catastrophe under 8 years of Dubya, we’re limping out of that. Most sane folks know we would be doing better without the Tea Bag drag in Congress, as well as the corporate whore war mongering establishment GOPeers, and the Blue Dog enablers.

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  16. Marge Wood says:

    I’ll provide some tubes of paint and some paint brushes for his self-portraits.

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  17. Bill Flarsheim says:

    BTW, there is nothing wrong with ending an English sentence with a preposition. It is one of several rules people “know” about English that are not true. You can’t end a Latin sentence with a preposition, but I can’t speak Latin, so this has never been a problem.

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  18. Marge Wood, you are way too kind and generous! Pricky is actually a crayon man.

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  19. I’ll bet rick wears a shirt that sez “gov” on the back (mel brooks in blazing sadles)

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  20. What I’m at a loss to find….. is the part of The United States Constitution that mandates that the federal government secure our borders.

    As the forever Governor of Texas, Rick has had plenty of time to get this one thing done.

    Heaven knows….. he has not accomplished one other thing. Texas still has plenty of teen pregnancies; plenty of high school drop outs; more uninsured, and the laundry list is endless.

    I’m embarrassed every time this ignorant man shows up on national television, and opens his mouth. He’s humiliating to everyone in the entire state.

    Good Grief!

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  21. I just watched Sarah Slamen on MSNBC’s Ed Show. She’s mahvelous, darlin’!!!!

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  22. Marge, I think I can scrounge up some lead-based finger paints for Goodhair to do his self portraits. Just tell him that “Obama says you shouldn’t eat the paint.”

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