Oh, Steve Stockman, I Love You!
Texas Congressvarmint Steve Stockman – who is even more crazy conservative than Louie Gohmert – sent out an email this morning asking people to donate to him so he can buy pizzas for his hard working Republican canvassers.
Honey, if they can’t afford their own dinner, they should not be Republicans. Right?
So I figure that Stockman is just pocketing the money.
I need to warn you that Steve is only vaguely familiar with the English language, but he does have one very cool thing in his email about these canvassers.
That’s why I’m asking you to sponsor one extra-large pizza for $19.95, or a pizza and sodas for $23.95, or even two pizzas with drinks cokes for $33.00.
You might ask why they are going door to door in such weather.
Well the answer is quite simple. The liberals are doing it and they are determined to turn not just our district from conservative to liberal, but the whole state of Texas.
Just last night in Harris County the Voter Register held a class to deputize people the register (sic) new voters. Of the 50 people who took the class only two were Republican.
Way to go, Harris County.
Nice.
Thanks to Glen for the heads up.
So Stockman’s new standard of good behavior is to do it ’cause the liberals are doin’ it?
1This is an old psychological fundraising ploy. Always give them 3 things to “pay” for in odd number amounts. Usually it’s things like “a roll of stamps” or “1 day rent for HQ” but sometimes you can get more creative.
Yes, Chip, I want to help you in your fight against tyranny here is (check one)
[] $29.99 for a box of Depends for David Vitter’s butt
[] $37.57 for a can of Turtle Wax for Louis Gohmert’s forehead
[] $42.99 for 5 rolls of duct tape for Michele Bachmann’s mouth
[] Other amount $____________
Plus, sign me up for your occasional e-mail to inform me of all the terrible things they do:
[] $8.88 $4.44 for our special friends!
Also, make them feel like they’re getting a deal for being on the inside by offering them the chance to pay for clips and links your unpaid interns will glean from partisan blogs.
2We should check his citizenship status since English doesn’t seem to be his first language and he seems to redundantly repeat himself over and over.
3I would love to know what the people of Texas are saying about
4Perry’s refusal to participate in the health care plan, I knew he had refused the medicaid expansion, but apparently he has refused the reforms for the insurance companies, like refusal to insure people with pre existing conditions etc.
Surely people wilol not stand for this!
Which emporium has such weirdly priced pizza and drinks? There must be kickbacks.
Good to see the Harris County report. Sign up those voters!
5I knew there might come a day, and yes, this is it. I totally disagree with Juanita that Stockman has Gohmert beat for craziness. Louie reigns supreme with the Stock guy an honorable mention. Sorry JJ.
6daChipster: I can see the need for the Depends and duct tape, but that oily sumbitch
7Gohmert can buy his own Turtle Wax.
Those pizzas are so expensive, they must have extra toppings of bullcrap, shredded fabrication and toasted hatred.
Anyone oughta be able to buy a big pizza in Texas for $10 or $12 or less. Where does he buy them anyway? and Joan, there’s no telling what Perry is saying to folks about health care. I don’t watch Faux News. He don’t keer what the Fedral Gummint says ’bout nuthin’. Read those old DOONESBURYs.
8We have a surprise for Steve. Who doesn’t even live in the district. Start packing your gun safe son cus you are going home! Clear Eyes, Full Heart, #TXBLUE
9Depends, duct tape and Turtle Wax? You guys are way too nice! Surely there are some other things you can think of that would put a permanent crimp in this crowd. And Jehosophat! Marylle, those pizzas must be made out of powdered platinum!
Let ’em eat cake!
10Let’s see: Domino’s is very rightwing. Maybe he can get a deal.
11Oh lord…another overpaid person who did not graduate from high school, or so I gather from his writing skills. Perhaps he didn’t complete junior high school, either? At least he is providing gainful employment for similarly uneducated constituents, since he has no employees who can assist him with writing or editing any public documents.
Such a shame, I am accustomed to seeing writing skills of this caliber only from young whippersnappers, not from those old enough to know the value of the written word.
12He took a page from Herman Cain’s campaign?
13Sounds like Papa Johns, their CEO said he was going to cut peoples hours so he wouldn’t have to offer health insurance to his employees, and also raise prices on the pizzas so he “could afford to pay for the increased price of health insurance”.
14And the two Harris County Republican registrars were there to throw away the voter applications before collecting free pizza.
151) So, what he is really saying is that republicans don’t volunteer unless they get something in return.
2) He is too cheap to buy pizzas for these wonderful volunteers.
The price of those pizzas is very high, wonder what else they will buy for that money?
16Joan, he’s refusing to do anything that’s “optional” so no expansion of Medicaid and no state run insurance exchange. He can’t stop the required parts of the bill, like insuring people with pre-existing conditions. There will be a federally-run insurance exchange which probably will be better than TX run. The no expansion of Medicaid makes a weird hole for people buying on the exchanges being ineligible for subsidies because the original law assumed they would be eligible for Medicaid. Those folks won’t be penalized if they don’t get insurance. This explains it https://www.healthcare.gov/what-if-my-state-is-not-expanding-medicaid/#state=texas
17What? He couldn’t call a campaign contributor? Cheapskates.
18