Oh, Cute, Rudy
Rudy Giuliani meant to call Sen. Tommy Tuberville last night to ask him to object to 10 states’ electoral votes in order to buy the Trump campaign more time and “slow it down.”
But, he called the wrong senator and left a voicemail on his phone.
It’s as charming as a bucket of hog slop so the anonymous senator who got the call decided to share it.
I will give you both the audio and the transcript because that’s just the kind of gal I am.
Transcript:
Senator Tuberville? Or I should say Coach Tuberville. This is Rudy Giuliani, the president’s lawyer. I’m calling you because I want to discuss with you how they’re trying to rush this hearing and how we need you, our Republican friends, to try to just slow it down so we can get these legislatures to get more information to you. And I know they’re reconvening at 8 tonight, but it … the only strategy we can follow is to object to numerous states and raise issues so that we get ourselves into tomorrow—ideally until the end of tomorrow.
I know McConnell is doing everything he can to rush it, which is kind of a kick in the head because it’s one thing to oppose us, it’s another thing not to give us a fair opportunity to contest it. And he wants to try to get it down to only three states that we contest. But there are 10 states that we contest, not three. So if you could object to every state and, along with a congressman, get a hearing for every state, I know we would delay you a lot, but it would give us the opportunity to get the legislators who are very, very close to pulling their vote, particularly after what McConnell did today. It angered them, because they have written letters asking that you guys adjourn and send them back the questionable ones and they’ll fix them up.
So, this phone number, I’m available on all night, and it would be an honor to talk to you. Thank you.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy… you’ve had since November to get your “proof.” Did you really think extending this past January 20, and getting President Pelosi, would help?
1Unbelievable seditious behavior. He should be disbarred. I wonder what his career opportunities will be after this. When is treason ok with the GOP??
2Any state that has issued him a license should withdraw it and then start fining him every time he says he’s the Presidents lawyer!
3I guess we’re lucky Rudy is so stupid. But Eric Swalwell was just on msnbc and questioned if there were members of Congress that were in contact with the leaders of the mob that broke into the capital. Obviously there was a concerted effort to delay the process yesterday and this transcript of rudy bears out they wanted this to go on for days. He mentioned goober gohmert as one who’s been in the middle of inciting violence leading up to yesterday. By the way, early this morning when the process was about to wind down, I believe it was goober gohmert that was the only one that tried to get a debate going over Wisconsin’s votes. It was hard to recognize him in a mask but looked and sounded like him. Luckily he was alone so it moved on.
4Rudi should be in the Guinness Book of Records for “Most Butts With Which To Butt Dial A Phone.”
Butt
5Butthead
Butt ter fingers
…
Tuberville…is that “Tubber” as in Hot “Tubber?”
Or “Tuber,” as in “Potato?”
6Rudy probably had this number next to Four Seasons Total Landscaping in his speed dial.
7So that’s why I didn’t read about Tubby this morning, he didn’t get his instructions and had no clue what to do
8Looks like someone wrote a speech for Trumpf that he read off a teleprompter in an effort to fend off the 25th amendment and impeachment. A completely forced statement that he does not believe in. No mention of the stolen election but an actual statement saying another candidate won and will be inaugurated peacefully. We’ll see how long that lasts.
9No mention of Joe what’s-his-name either
10And Rudy did his part onstage firing up the good ole boy patriots.
11“Let’s have trial by combat.”
Nothing seditious there. Nosirreee.
Just good clean fun.
Yeeehaaww!
would’ve thought it was difficult, if not impossible, to engage in trial by combat with one’s hands all down in his britches, but what do I know???
12I think the clock is really ticking down on Rudy’s law license. He lost his mind a long time ago. I wonder if he can even tie his shoelaces?
13Which senator did he actually call?
14