Oh Be Still My Heart
Devin Nunes has more memos and as soon as the White House writes them and delivers them to him, he’s gonna publish them.
Republicans close to Nunes say there could be as many as five additional memos or reports of “wrongdoing.” But a source on the House Intelligence Committee tells me there’s no current plan to use the same extraordinary and highly controversial process they just went through, with a vote and ultimately a presidential approval to declassify sensitive information.
Yes, it is true. Betty Jean Frontage in the post office department used a stamp for a personal piece of mail and only left 40 cents in the stamp drawer. Stamps have not been 40 cents in a long time, Betty Jean. Fact: Betty Jean voted for Hillary. This national nightmare is all Hillary’s fault.
Kyle Johnson at the State Department was unnecessarily nice to the Mexican Ambassador. It is a well known fact that Mexico is not sending us their best. They send us their drugs, their rapists. And Kyle was polite to him. Kyle was also polite to Bill Clinton once. Got it? Collusion.
Edwin Elberger, Ph.D., works in the agriculture department. Last month he was testing an experimental apple crop and he ate the entire apple instead of taking the customary one bite. This violates at least three customs and Dr. Elberger’s excuse that the apple was really, really tasty brings small comfort to the American people. Elberger has a “Work For Peace” bumper sticker on his Prius so we all know he as probably slipping apples to the Democratic National Committee.
Okay, that’s the first three, so the last two are up to you.
And out here nobody can figure out what he Nunes memo is all about. Appears there is no there there.
1Fantasy? On that we bow to Kellyanne Conway, mistress of alternative facts as we eagerly await the Dotard faithful puppy Devin to deliver whatever memo she sends him to deliver.
2Maggie, the “there there” in the Nunes memo was the typical “there, there” one delivers to comfort a child. Unfortunately in this instance the ‘child’ in need of comforting is Dotard45. His lawyers told him the Russian thingy would be all gone by January, at the latest. So as staff scramble to keep calendars hidden from Donnie, John Kelly and Kellyanne are busy drafting happy words to keep Donnie’s twitter paws distracted. Albeit, they’re failing at that this morning.
3Now is the time to carefully and calmly push back. If we let the sludge stay in our way, the next load will just make getting rid of it worse.
BUT…
We have to act like grownups to maximize our efforts. No matter how much fun it might be slinging “insults” back in the monkey house, it just hurts us to drop to their level.
So, repeat after me: Page was known to be in the Russian’s orbit since 2013. So why should we not worry that he somehow ended up associated with 45’s campaign, and then a FISA target after he left the campaign?
4Oldies but Goodies..
Because I know they will be brought up
Obama’ s Birth certificate.
Because Trump never released the findings that he had that said POTUS Obama was not born in Hawaii.
Benghazi! Just because.
5Some prankster from the House Intelligence Committee minority staff sent a box of Alpha Bits to the White House from which the “D”, “J” and “T”s were all missing without the box or inner bag being opened, proving once again that the Dossier is a hoax.
6Diane:
Don’t forget Hillary’s private server and that blue dress.
7Nunes memos #3 and #4:
#3–Maria Sanchez works in housekeeping at Trump International Hotel and accepted a $2.00 tip from a hotel patron. Since we all know Republicans are cheap bastards, the patron had to be a Democrat spy up to no good and Maria is a mole.
#4–Jimmy Don Farquart knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows that guy’s second cousin who read on Facebook that the FBI’s “secret society” proves everything is a Masonic conspiracy designed to take over the country. Either that, or it was the Elks. He wasn’t sure.
8Wow! I guess the FBI is now on double-secret probation!
9I expect the Republicans learned their lesson: memos are like monster movies – the less you can see the monster, the scarier it is to the audience.
10Diane,
11Don’t y’all forget SOBOTUS Donnie tRump’s TAX RETURNS, which he promised to release multiple times. Until he scoffed that he never would.