In a move worthy of Colombo, Vanity Fair has finally uncovered the mystery of why Trump did not attend any of the Veterans Day events.

One Republican briefed on the internal discussions said the real reason Trump did not want to go was because there would be no tent to stand under. “He was worried his hair was going to get messed up in the rain,” the source said. “[John] Bolton and everyone was telling him this was a big mistake.” A former administration official said Trump hates being outside in wet conditions.

It was his hair, you damn fools.

Marine One cannot fly in the rain?  Oh hell, Marine One can fly through a damn tornado.  The Secret Service didn’t want him going in his car because it’s raining and they just finished washing it?

No, he did not go because he knew he would look silly wearing a shower cap.