Honest to God, this is a real headline.

It’s North Carolina so of course they are on edge.  Where are the clowns going to go to the bathroom?

As you know, clowns are genderless so how will we know which bathroom they are can use? It’s North Damn Carolina – genitals are our major concern.  Of course they are on edge.

The semi-almost-serious story is that several clowns have been spotted trying to lure children into the woods.

Police say a person dressed as a clown disappeared into the woods after being chased by a man wielding a machete on Tuesday — the third incident involving a clown in as many days in the Greensboro, North Carolina area.

A machete?  Honey, I’ve been to three state fairs, two rodeos and goat stampede, but I have never in my life seen a man chase a clown with a machete.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.