This afternoon North Korea said the U.S. will “pay dearly” for the economic sanctions.

Dear North Korea,

Thank you for the heads up.  We’ve been kinda depressed lately so even a threat sounds exciting to us.

I’d like to remind you that North Korea has a Dear Leader and so do we. Our Dear Leader, Donald Trump, is strong, wise, beloved, and the best Dear Leader ever in the history of all mankind and Mars if there was ever life on Mars.  There’s never been a better Dear Leader than he is and there never will be.  If you don’t believe me, just ask him.

Look, I am a good American so you can bomb anything you want to.  But please, pretty please, be respectful and do not, do NOT, bomb all of Trump’s golf courses, especially any that he is playing oops, working, on.

We appreciate your help in this matter.  Not Trump’s golf courses.  Reminder: do not bomb one of Trump’s golf courses.  The worst thing that could happen to America is for the Better That You Dear Leader Trump to be standing on the first tee and having to watch his beautiful golf course turn into a dump right before his eyes.

Thank you,

Juanita Jean